My No.1: ‘Radar Love’ – Ghost Dance
I woke up on a mattress on the floor, having dreamt that Flash and I had killed a young girl called Leoni. As I tried to flee the scene of the crime, my beads snapped and I lost most of them. I was terrified that the beads would be found and then incriminate me. So, there I am, waking up from this nightmare, on a mattress next to Flash. I’m saying to myself, ‘Thank God it was only a dream…’
So what followed seemed very real.
The police came round to inform us – as they were informing all the houses – to be careful because there was an attacker on the loose. I was shocked by this, thinking it sounded suspiciously like my dream, but so was Flash. Then, from behind the police, Leoni walked in, holding my lost beads! But she didn’t accuse us of anything and actually said that the attacker had worn red trousers. Flash + I were in our usual black…
A lot of questioning, news coverage and man-hunting ensued, until a man who police thought was the rapist was shot. Meanwhile, I was fighting my conscience, trying to work out why the dream I’d had was real and alive.
Eventually, I was jailed for something or other, with a tramp played by Bernard Cribbins…
…who transformed into a gorgeous semi-naked blonde with nice genitals. We escaped from jail together…
I then woke up, but all the Leoni business had been very realistic and disturbing. Godogodogodogod, was that an awful dream. When I woke up I was glad it was all over.
‘Fill Your Heart’ – David Bowie
Bygodmeladd, it’s been a ferooking hot day, I can tell thee. Yes. I can tell thee that! I cairn ‘arf. I cairn ‘arf tell thee that, y’boz-eed beefburger.
Well. Let’s go. Let’s hit the happenings, disco citizens (Yuh do!)!!!
The phone is ringing. Is it for me?
Naw! Can’t be.
Anyhoy, I bought Smash Hits today and it was q. good for a change, cos it possessed features on The Cure and The Jesus and Mary Chain, plus lotsa piccies of Kim Wilde (more on her later!)…
‘Waterfalls’ – Paul McCartney
The Jesus and Mary Chain are releasing a new single! I expect I shall purchase it. I also intend buying a new ALIEN SEX FIEND single in the next seven days.
DAVID BOWIE’s new album is out.
It is very doubtful that I will purchase that.
[Until 1991 – Future Elt]
T REX have released a COLLECTION of a sides/b sides. A tempting buy. A double LP, indeed. Will I buy it or not?
Top of the Pops was fucking crap and The Smiths were bloody shate. But Kim Wilde! Oh God! Oh Buddha! Horus! Ra! Isis! That cow effort! Jehovah! Jesus! Moses! That one that looks like an elephant! etc…
Yes, I know Kim Wilde makes shit records these days, but god, is she beautiful.
Didn’t used to be this gorgeous, but she is now. She’s great.
My Top Three Beautiful Women
1) Beatrice Miranda Wasp
2) Kim Wilde
3) Marilyn Monroe
Others: Bianca White, Elizabeth Taylor, all of Fuzzbox, Anne-Marie from Ghost Dance and many more, I suppose.
Rumour has it that Alison Ford’s dad died last week. I’m unsure.
Anyhow, that’s all for a bit,
all my bestest,
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
NEXT TIME: ‘My teeth kill…’