The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 24 November 1990

Greetings From Groomstool Falls!

‘Hands Across The Ocean’ – The Mission

I have a letter from Maggie
She’s been busy at the gallery.  She wishes me and Johnny well with launching the company.  She thinks I’ll be brilliant and she’d love to see FRANKENSTEIN: ‘It sounds fantastic, brilliant and full of emotion – just like you!’  She’s even offered to design posters for us.  She thanks me for my advice about ‘It’, her boyfriend, and, though she feels a bit guilty, she’s told him it’s over and hasn’t seen him since.  She says my letters make her grin from ear to ear: ‘I can hear you saying things as I’m reading them; you have such a wonderful accent’.  She loves our friendship.  She wishes I could be with her so she could reach out and touch me, have me protect her.  I make her feel strong and special.  I make her happy and glad to be alive when everything else is so miserable and difficult for her.  She says that after Christmas we must get together or at least starting talking on the phone as well as letter-writing: ‘You are such a good friend, and it feels good – it warms me right through.’  She also updates me on her arm operation (she was glassed in a pub by a jealous girl and the glass went into her arm, fragments of which stayed there) and the complications caused by her psoriasis (‘like the Singing Detective’).  She then goes on to talk about her love of historical places, books, libraries, pewter and sword and sorcery fiction.  She also loves the song I wrote about her, ‘Dark Angels’ and talks about it at great length.
‘Some Kind of Stranger’ – The Sisters of Mercy

Today we have three new recordings for the Situation/Berwin Christmas LP
‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas’ dubbed over a generic Christmas LP recording.  This is Berwin’s somewhat muddled/vague Christmas salute to the end of Thatcherism.  It features a few topical references.  I sang it as Berwin in several over-dubs and it also has samples from Tuesday’s News At Ten (the voices of Alistair Burnett and Margaret Thatcher).  The end of the song features an a capella rendition (which won’t be listed on the LP) of ‘Candle In The Wind’, sung by Berwin (me) but re-worked as a dedication to the ex-Prime Minister.  I wrote all the lyrics, obviously, and though I’m not a Tory, Berwin most assuredly is.
‘Ghosts Of Christmas’ which is more of an experimental cut-up thing.  It looks at Christmas as The Situation enjoyed it in 1985 – on the Situation cassette/LP A Merry Wetlands Xmas – which was recorded mostly at my old school.  It is primarily a remix of ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’, which most of my year were singing in the Biology mobile.  It is placed on the LP to say: ‘Look!  Listen!  This is 6 Christmases later and we’re still doing this shit!’  It segues into some scratchin’ again sampled from The Situation’s own archive (Flash’s track ‘Fuck Off, Flash Gordon’, via Malcolm McLaren), which then segues into the new Berwin rap ‘Berwin Is A 6-Letter Word’ (over a Pop Will Eat Itself track), which, when mixed, will then segue into ‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day’.  I’ll be crediting ‘Rudolph’ to The Wetlands High School Spiritual Choir.
‘Greetings From Groomstool Falls’ will be the Intro to the whole LP.  It is Berwin’s MC/spoken welcome, with an impromptu ad lib of a song.  I wrote all the vocal stuff and performed it as Berwin, but it also features a sample from an early 1980s BBC2 announcer presenting Frank Capra’s movie It’s A Wonderful Life.
I spent this afternoon with Legs.  We went to see Ash at his girlfriend’s place (where he’s now living).  Sadly, he wasn’t there, but Ellie – his girlfriend – was, so we had a let’s talk SISTERS afternoon.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]
Next time: ‘A Clockwork Orange…’

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