‘Fascinating Rhythm’ – Bass-O-Matic
The novelty of being home has worn off now.
Mind you, I had an interesting time which featured the following characters: Elbow, Amy Neat, Johnny Badcock, Mary-Jane Ferguson, Lilith, Missy, Mrs Badcock, Sally Watson, Danny Abbott, Gemma Winchester, and Natalia Wnek. Yes, you might be able to tell I popped into NORCAT. I’ll tell all later.
Oh, Donny Goodfellow rang tonite. He’s pissed off about not being able to get a job and I obviously sympathise with his plight.
Oh, I must also tell you about this girl at Tech today. But it’ll wait.
'Naked in the Rain’ – Blue Pearl
I rang Elbow today to tell him all about this PRISONER thing on the radio.
Then I got a bus to Lynn (after briefly seeing and speaking to Mary Wallis). On the bus, I sat with – of all people – James Abbott and we talked, but it felt like surface level chit-chat. School was four years ago now.
At NORCAT, I located my folders. I then went over to see if I could locate Amy or Lilith at Donna’s old digs on Tennyson Avenue. I actually bumped into Pip and she found Amy and Mitzi for me. Amy’s changed her image somewhat and looks better for it. I was very happy to see her and we spoke for five minutes or so. I also briefly said ‘hello’ to Sally Watson who’s looking incredibly healthy this year.
‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ – Sinead O’Connor
I then went off to Johnny’s house, chatted to his mum, and met him as arranged. We then returned to Tech where we chatted with Amy, Pip, and Missy. Then Danny Abbot came in and we spoke for a while. He looked rather messier than usual. Soon, Fergie found me and we talked, then Lilith joined us which was a bit odd and quite tense. Apparently she and Fergie often compare notes about me and slag me off! Nice, eh? I then walked Fergie up to the Art rooms and we talked for ages more. She hasn’t stayed loyal to her Cartoon Boyfriend at all. I steered us onto the subject of ‘us’, trying to sound out the territory, really; wanting to know what she feels about me. Could there ever be any kind of relationship for us? Like before? Fergie got quite aggressive about it, refusing to tell me what her feelings are for me; saying she’ll never tell me. When she said she had no intention of boosting my ego, I read between the lines. Soon, she softened and we talked vaguely about distances, but unfortunately we had to part at this point. As I turned to get the lift, she virtually demanded a hug from me and we embraced long and hard. I still feel a great love for her. She might even be the biggest heartbreaker in my life in many ways. Day to day, I do miss Fergie a great deal.
'You’re Going to Lose That Girl’ – The Beatles
After Tech, I went to Amy’s room and explained my predicament of having great affection for all three of Amy, Fergie and Lilith; of wanting to spend time with them all. Quality time. And I do love them all, but in differing ways. I have a tremendous animal lust for Amy; I love Lilith as a close friend and other unclear things; and I… Well, I am in love with Fergie. In love. And I wish she was in love with me.
Amy and I talked for ages. It’s funny: Fergie and Amy hate each other, Amy and Lilith don’t speak, and Fergie and Lilith have a relationship based on bitching me off. Amy summed it up as three women being jealous over me – full stop.
I then went to see Lilith and was able to explain myself more clearly to her, better able to explain my feelings. She’s missed me like hell. I feel something so deeply for her, and I have no idea if I fancy her as much as I think I do. She’s so… different. To anyone I’ve ever known. It challenges me. As she and I left to go our separate ways, she hugged me longingly and I found it hard letting her go to meet her mates.
I returned to see Amy and – predictably – we ended up in bed, naked and caressing each other’s body. Nothing too naughty/rude, though. That would probably have been pathetic.
‘You Like Me Too Much’ – The Beatles
Later, Johnny drove me home. Amy and Missy came with us and Missy insisted I show her the CHINESE PLAY video, so we all watched that. Johnny tells me that Gemma Winchester has been asking about me. He says she seems very ‘interested’ in me.
Anyway, I received a postcard from Leeds that says this:
WHAT CAN I SAY? AN APOLOGY DOESN’T SEEM ADEQUATE ENOUGH, BUT I AM SORRY FOR LETTING SO MUCH TIME + DISTANCE COME BETWEEN US. I HOPE IT’S NOT FATAL. AS YOU CAN SEE, I’M IN (ALMOST) YOUR HOME TERRITORY AT THE MOMENT, RELAXING AFTER A HIDEOUSLY DEPRESSING TWO MONTHS BACK HOME. I’LL BE IN TOUCH WHEN I COME HOME, BEFORE GOING BACK TO UNI. TAKE CARE,
I don’t honestly know what to think.
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Next time: ‘Stanward…’