The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 13 August 1990

Miranda Is Confused


‘I Want You’ – The Beatles



At last, I have word from Miranda – a letter she wrote on Thursday 9th August.


She addresses me as ‘Dear Ritcherd’ and tells me that this is her third attempt at writing.  She apologises for being thoughtless and sorry and attempts to explain what happened last week (whilst warning me to remember this in the future).  She says she got back to Wisbech at about 9pm – much later than planned – because of ‘the stupid bloody trains’.  The first thing her mother said when she walked in was ‘Are you seeing Ritcherd again?’ to which Miranda said ‘no’ and was then told that I’d rung.  Then her mum wanted to know how I knew she was coming back that night and she explained that we had been writing and this led to her mum looking as if she was about to cry!  There was no way Miranda was going to get out of the house that night without the Third Degree, besides it was pretty late.  As for phoning me, her mother didn’t let her near the phone.  Miranda says she knows she should have been strong and just told her she was going to meet me (‘I’m 20 years old, it’s my own life, my own friends, etc, etc’) but she didn’t want to upset her.  When it came to a choice between upsetting me or her mum, then she apologises, but she chose me (‘at least I could explain to you’).  In the event, she left Portsmouth at 8am on the Saturday morning.


She doesn’t quite know why her mum is against me.  She says it’s not me personally, more the fact that she feels every time I ‘appear’, Miranda gets extremely screwed up (‘which isn’t true, but it’s the way she sees it’) and she thinks I’m ‘a bad influence’).


Miranda says she’s been trying to find a way to apologise to me all week, so she was glad when I wrote.  She does beg me however never to ring her at her mother’s again as ‘it causes too much hassle’.  She suggests ours is an ‘illicit relationship’ that ‘must be handled with delicacy’.  She knows it’s pathetic, but her mum is very sensitive about me.  She hopes we’re friends again, though and remains furious with British Rail.


She thanks me for the tape, saying it’s not the kind of thing she usually listens to (!!!), but she likes it (she listens to Pink Floyd mostly).  She apologises for not sending me a photo but says there may be a ‘respectable’ one on the film in her camera right now that I might be able to have.


‘Grantchester Meadows’ – Pink Floyd



She asks me if I’ve seen a film called Withnail and I, because she fancies the incredibly horny man in it whose name she has forgotten (but he played the ‘good’ witch in Warlock).  She says she won’t go into ecstasies about it just yet, but recommends it as it was the best film she’s seen for ages.


She notes with interest that I’m no longer presenting myself as ‘a goth’.  She says she finds herself in Levis and baggy tie dye t-shirts these days.  Waistcoats, too and lots of scarves.  She feels her clothing and look is much more masculine these days.  She’s been told that when she’s drunk in her DMs and short hair she can appear quite frightening (‘Oh well, who wants to be sweet and feminine anyway?’).  She remembers what we were wearing the first time we met; I had on a grey suit jacket with a lemon yellow shirt and she was wearing a light-blue jump-suit.  She likes the sound of my occasionally ‘dreadlocked’ hair, but draws the line at hooded tops!


She then tells me that, otherwise, very little has happened lately.  ‘I’m very confused about things’, she says, ‘but this is quite as usual’.  She tells me she’ll be back in Wisbech on August 19 – 21 and she says without firmly arranging anything we could maybe try and meet on the 20th.  She says she’ll ring me when she arrives and that I mustn’t ring her mother. 


She asks me to write back soon and apologises again for that weekend.  She signs off with ‘lots of love’ and four kisses.  In a postscript she tells me the job offer Larry made me sounds interesting.  She again re-iterates that she needs a better job as the money at the restaurant is ‘crap’.








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Next time: ‘Top Ten Doctor Who Stories, August 1990…’

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