The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 21 July 1990

Depression: Phase 2


‘Dream Within A Dream’ – Propaganda

This time last year: Miranda’s feet; us kissing; her beautiful breasts; the two of us making love.






What a twat. 

‘California Dreamin’’ – The Mamas & the Papas

I’m crying again; face to face with my fears.  My life might as well just be at an end.  I hate it here.  I hate it here in Cambridgeshire.  Here, where my life has reached its lowest ebb.

It seems I am being made to learn a lesson in patience.

Over the coming year, I had hoped to attempt finding work in ‘showbusiness’.  If that didn’t work out then I’d rethink going to Polytechnic (or preferably drama school).  But I’m ill-equipped to the task.  And it seems I may have to find a factory job or some such rubbish and end up working my way through until at least July 1991 in something I really don’t want to be doing or have the stomach for.  I know myself.  I know the ruts I get into.  By next summer I’ll have lost sight of my dreams and desires.  I’ll probably have to get driving lessons and buy a car, too.  But on a wage of about £100 a week, what money will I have left?  How will I afford to leave home and find my future elsewhere?  My life feels like it’s slowing to a halt and I can’t take it.  I just can’t take the waiting.  And there’s a lot of waiting to be done before I can even begin to start implementing the things I really need to implement in order to even start down the path of my dreams.  Bloody arsing bugger.


‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ – The Beatles

I’ve calmed down now.  I was on the verge of something terrible earlier on. 

I’ve seen a local job advertised that, given the options hereabouts, I would desperately love to do: steward at the Wisbech Museum.  I will send my application tomorrow.  If it’s what I want and within my capabilities, then I would be very happy to get that job.

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

Next time: ‘Cajoled and bullied…’

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