The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Wednesday, 30 May 1990

London?

“LONDON?”

AND SO BEGINS A SHORT SERIES OF LATE MAY ENTRIES

8.55am

’53 Miles West of Venus’ – The B-52s

There’s something strangely soothing about early morning shopping complexes.  I’m not talking about supermarkets; I mean these… well, what would we call them in England?  I mean, I suppose the Americans call them ‘malls’ – yes – ‘shopping malls’, but if you say that in a Yorkshire accent it ceases to have any kind of effect.  No.  Well skip that.

Whatever sort of complex this is, it’s generally known as QUEENSGATE and it’s in Peterborough.

I’m sitting at (I can’t say ‘in’ really, because the design of the place won’t let me) MAXINE’S restaurant or café or whatever it is and I’ve forgotten what I was going to say…

Oh yes!  There’s something strangely soothing about early morning shopping complexes; a vastness that lets the amniotic muzak that teases each occupant to sub-cranially dance about or linger, as if coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.  People move on to work, the coffee remains cheap and the café furniture stands tacky and abandoned. 

‘Smash The Mac’ – Crass

Spock once said to me that the ‘80s was a pinnacle of bad taste.  I don’t sympathise with his view at all.  There’s still a lot to be done in this world, I know, and if you can remotely ignore its environmental and sociological problems, it’s a good world, I suppose.  My world.

Oh god, we’ve never had it so good – and damn me, that’s true.  So how could the ‘80s have been a pinnacle of bad taste?  How could he say that to me whilst he was dressed the way he was dressed?

Anyway, my point is, the ‘80s were nice (and still are; the ‘80s won’t be over till about 1992, believe me), the coffee here is good, and I’m feeling ‘soothed’.

Oh no!  The people opposite me are eating chips.  Oh no!  It’s only 9am.

Mind you, I must have done worse.

I don’t care.  I’m feeling quite good.

YIBBLE!

It’s funny about the Lake District.

I don’t know why I brought that up.

Oh yes, the bus company up there was called RIBBLE

And that reminds me.

Time to go.

All my love,
Ritcherd J Winterfood

PETERBOROUGH, 30th MAY 1990, 9.10am.

Later:

2.43pm

‘Dirty Cash’ – Stevie V

I don’t have the [          ] to go down these steps upon which I now sit.  In BOOKS ETC.

YIK!  YIK!  FLOOP!

[energy?]
[incentive?]
[guts?]
[arsedness?]
[legs?]
[inclination?]
[Fuck off?]
[London’s expensive?]
[And shite?]
[Money?]

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

All my love
Ritcherd J Winterfood

LONDON, 30th MAY 1990, 2.45pm

Later:

9.45pm

‘Roam’ – The B-52s

DONNA DAVIDSON WRITES:

WELL, here we are, crashed out at my sister’s house.

Today was soooo strange!  All day I had these mixed emotions about what the hell am I doing here?  Plus Ritcherd and I are almost out of money – har-bloody-har.  It’s not funny at all, especially when you feel you have to negotiate buying a cup of coffee with your bank manager!  Nonetheless, we had a fun day, but I feel confused and weird.  I’ve got to stop before I do my own head in!  10.30pm

Later:

If you’re wondering about the BOOKS ETC entry, it was all about the fact that I was tired this afternoon and literally had to slump down onto the steps in a shop and write some diary.  Gives you that ‘novelty factor’, doesn’t it?

After relaxing with a nice tea from Andrea, Donna and I began to feel good.

Later:

‘Whole Lotta Love’ – Love Child Orchestra

It’s good of Andrea Davidson to put us up at her place.  I’d always wanted to meet Andrea – ever since Donna first told me about her back in 1988.  Andrea always seemed attractive and interesting to me and Donna had always spoken highly of her older sister.  She’s really nice, and tonight, Donna has told me many new and interesting things about her.

We are in Andie’s spare room right now – in hysterical fits of laughter at VIZ COMIC’s SID THE SEXIST.

‘I divvent knar much aboot curry, but I’ll have the hottest fucker what ye’s de.’


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Cor, Blimey, Guv’nor, I Ain’t Half Buggered…’

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