The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 31 May 1990

Cor, Blimey, Guv’nor, I Ain’t Half Buggered

another of the “LONDON?” series

THE 31st AND LAST OF MAY

8.15pm

My No.1: ‘Killer’ by Adamski

Dearie me, did I neglect to inform you why I am actually here?

Well, Donna and I are here to ‘check out the scene’, find out what London’s like and how the situation stands.

It often feels dreary here, to be honest.  It almost makes you want to forget your aspirations; but I know I mustn’t.  We must persist.  Don’t let it get you down.  Even so, I’m tired and my money’s run out. 

‘Circlesquare’ – The Wonder Stuff

We went to Central Casting today, but they’re not taking any more people on at the moment.  We also visited Ad-Voice, but they only see you by appointment.  The NFT was nice, but the NT looks grim and oppressive.  We also visited Larry’s theatre, The Cockpit (even though he’s in King’s Lynn, presently), and it was okay.  I actually now tend to believe he’d never employ me (or any of the others in our group).  Even so, I reckon I’m a better performer than any member of his inherited resident company.  I’m probably better than a lot of drama school graduates out there.  And nowhere near as good as many others.

GIZZAJOB!

Oh, fuck bloody off.  Just FUK FUK FUK. 

I need a better plan than this.  I’ll try again soon – with a suit, a haircut and an idea of what I’m bloody doing.  8.25pm.

Later:

‘Children of the Revolution’ – Baby Ford

Tonight, Donna and I were discussing our recent falling out with The Frigid Spinsters (Kat, Jo, and Rita).  Donna also spoke of Kat’s love for Jonny and me and how Kat had told her something amusing, that Donna had been sworn to forever hold as secret.  As is usual in these situations, I pried the secret from Donna, who told me that the night after the Disco, as Kat and I talked in The Walks and she got upset and had to leave, Kat told Donna that she had, to put it in her own words, ‘pissed herself’.  So I was right!  I told Donna that I remember turning after taking a few steps and thinking I’d seen this, realising that Kat had run off.  Donna said Kat ran off into the bushes to take off her leggings and walked home without them on.  Back home, she’d had to wash them.  How very odd and incontinent of her.  Does she have a weak bladder?  I had to mention it…

WHAT RITCHERD IS UP TO IN 1988

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Next time: ‘Well, Y’know, It’s Not So Bad, Actually…’

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