The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Tuesday, 24 April 1990

What Kind of Fool


‘Let’s Be Other People’ – The Wonder Stuff

Today, I saw Fergie and she told me that she’d just attempted to blow Mickey totally out of her life, after which I gave her my letter of (love) resignation.  I told her she need no longer carry any guilt now that she’ back down to one.

Later, we went off to talk but nothing was said.

It’s like our love has now been cordoned off.  Or perhaps it has already gone, fallen into oblivion.

The most ‘boggling’ thing about today was the afternoon, which I spent with Lilith MacMillan, at her insistence.  Nowadays she comes over to me and makes it very clear how she feels about me, but because my circumstances have changed greatly since January, I tend to find myself just underplaying my feelings for her. [Somewhere a heart is breaking – Lilith, 1992] But she told me she loves me and we hugged a little before she kissed me goodbye.  Oh, and she’d been worried that she was pregnant, but thankfully she isn’t.

‘What Kind Of Fool’ – All About Eve

This evening, I went out with Donna Davidson and Amy Neat, to The Walks for a bottle of wine.  I briefly saw Kate Lesser and told her all about recent events with her best mate, Mary-Jane.  Perhaps I felt some regret at what I’ve done…?

Back at Donna’s. Amy and I cuddled up in Donna’s bed and it felt nice and warm.

Back home, listening to ‘What Kind Of Fool’, I just cried and cried over Fergie.

I had a bath and then, in only a towel, still soaking wet, I fell asleep on my bedroom floor.

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Next time: ‘Making love with Amy…’

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