The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 14 April 1990

From Flying to Falling


‘Don’t Ask Me Why’ – Eurythmics

Last nite, I dreamed I was staying over at Dave Brown’s having returned from Yorkshire.  He came in late at nite and apparently he’d just been to the WENNS with Barry, where they had obviously seen Fergie and Kate Lesser.  Dave wouldn’t tell me what Fergie had been doing, but he was definitely keeping something from me. 

I still get this sick ‘gut’ feeling that she got off with Barry (or something of that sort).  That’d suit Sandra and Cheggers down to the ground; two lots of best mates, a nice foursome.

I should trust her, but if I did then I reckon I’d just be denying what I truly feel: suspicion.

I have given her my love and she has hurt me in return.

‘Lovesong’ – The Cure

I’ve just spent ages writing letters.

I wrote to Minty in Preston, Maggie, and Natalia Wnek.  I also wrote one for Wendy Mackintosh, but I don’t know her address.  Bugger.

I also wrote to Amy Neat, as promised, and told her my feelings about our relationship.  As friends, obviously. 

I’ve rung Abby MacMillan twice for Jonny (no success, she wasn’t in).  As I was in the phone box I thought I might as well ring Amy and say hello, but she wasn’t in either.

I didn’t have the guts to ring Fergie.

I rang Jonny, anyway, and he’s told me to give up on ringing Abby for him.  Okay, sunshine, I will, but why the sudden change of heart, I have no idea.

I told him of my fears over Fergie and Barry.  He said to me, ‘I don’t know what you’re playing at, mate.’

I said: ‘I don’t know, either.  Probably me just being over-suspicious.’

He said: ‘Well, I would be, too.’

I told him then that I had been planning on asking him to go to the WENNS to keep an eye on things.  He told me he would have gladly done so.  He asked me if I wanted him to go this coming Friday.  I said, yes, but only if that was okay.  He said he would.  Good lad.  Now that’s a mate.  I do love him.  And if I go back home before Friday, then we’ll both go in.


If I love Fergie so much, then why don’t I trust her?  Hmmm.  Maybe it’s because I love her too much? 

Or maybe I just see too much of myself in her…

Anyway, here’s a song for you, chiddies.

At the heart of hope
All I wanted to know
Was had the arrows of another
Pierced your soul?

It’s all well and good
And you would if you could:
But what I want to know is
Have you done so?

I’m falling over bodies falling at my feet
And you’re the one and only who can keep me sweet
I’m so tired of this half-time that we’ve spent
When do I get your hundred per cent?
Is my life so dull you just don’t wanna know?
Does my Sell By date say it’s time to go?
Just tell me, pretty baby, just say no, no, no
We’ve gone from flying very high to falling down so low


‘O Fortuna’ – Carl Orff

I watched EXCALIBUR today, and it’s fantastic!

How will I feel tomorrow?

Wait and see.

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Next time: ‘Strange Stan…’

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