The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Sunday, 11 March 1990

Too Far Gone

10.30am

‘Raining’ – Ancient Beatbox

I bet, despite Jonny and Larry going to the Finance Office on my behalf and telling them my grant forms have come through, court proceedings have started.  Well, we’ll see…

I am getting worried about Fergie.  I do want to be ‘her man’ (you know what I mean!) and I could truly love her for a long time to come, but I feel a genuine panic; a feeling that I am unlikely to ‘fall in love’ with her for fear of her rejection.  If she rejected me, I’d pick myself up and move on.  I’d find someone else sooner or later, but I’d rather not.  I don’t want to feel hypocritical because I need emotional companionship.  So she mustn’t reject me.  Not now.  Things are too far gone.


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Next time: ‘Feeling green…’

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