The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Wednesday, 21 March 1990

The Chloe Controversy

‘Smallness of the Mustard Pot’ – Doctor and the Medics

After watching TS2’s very good Group Practicals (with an EXCELLENT performance from Emma Goddard), I went to The Walks with Fergie.

We talked and kissed on the Red Mount Chapel.  I told her of my insecurity when kissing her; my guilt and concern, basically.  She agreed that she felt the same.  So I asked her what our ‘position’ actually is and, in the end, after much long, long kissing, we decided simply to take things as they come.  Which felt great!

‘Walk On By’ – Sybil

Back in Tech, just before she had to meet Mickey, we agreed to stop the kissing and only allow a bit of touching.  If only for the peace of both our minds. 

And off she went.

At break, she returned and took me aside – angrily.  She talked of putting her relationship on the line for me and being ‘led on’ by me only to discover that I’m mad about someone else!

‘Who?’ I asked.
Chloe Attenborough!’ came the reply.

I then had to explain as I began to realise what had gone wrong.

Earlier, Tracy told me she had spoken to CA and asked her if she wanted to go out with me.  Chloe replied that she might be interested, if I asked and she had got to know me better.  But the whole thing had been over-exaggerated and blown out of proportion by the time it – somehow – got back to Fergie.

Fergie left me, very moodily, and I felt so empty and bitter.

I attempted to find CA and put things into perspective, but when I found her I didn’t have the will to bother.

Walking back to the College Theatre, I saw Fergie with Mickey and my blood began to boil over.  I passed by them calmly only to be chased up by Fergie who stopped me and confronted me yet again.  I just found myself getting very angry back at her.  I told her she KNEW I fancied Chloe but that there was no way I was planning on going out with her – either now or most likely ever.  There’s no way I’d run off from Fergie.  We parted a little more calmly than we did previously.

‘One of Our Girls Has Gone Missing’ – AC Marias

At home this evening, I felt so bad about it all; guilty, ill and rather obsessed.  I started writing a long letter to Fergie and then decided to ring her halfway through.  In the conversation, I told her how much I feel about her and she explained that what had really upset her were the feelings of jealousy and the fact that the information had reached her in such a terrible way.  She had been in the toilet when Chloe came in and said, ‘How you getting on with Ritcherd?’

‘Fine,’ said Fergie.  ‘Just good friends.’
‘Oh good,’ said Chloe, ‘because I hear he fancies me and wants to go out with me!’

I hate people distorting facts.

So Fergie and I made up.

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Next time: ‘Weird patchy rash…’

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