The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 1 February 1990

Hallelujah (Club Mix)



FEBRUARY…

Of late hour…

‘Nights In White Satin’ – The Moody Blues

February began with something of a terrible experience by way of dreaming.  And now, exiled here in the North, I am feeling the loss of Lilith.  She should be leaving Norfolk for Scotland tomorrow.  My dream, of course, featured her and Nick.  My recollection of the opening to the dream is very ambiguous.  In truth, I cannot quite see it.  At all.  But, for some reason, I found myself walking round King’s Lynn with Lili and Nick.  And I remember happily talking to her.  Smalltalk.  Totally inhibited by Nick’s presence.  It was then that I began to notice that this was NOT the Nick from photographs Lili had shown me.  This Nick’s hair was long and black and he looked like a gothic, Byronic figure.  To my chagrin.  And I realised he had become Lilith’s paragon of malehood.  Byron Nick burst into a florists and returned with a huge bunch of roses, which pleased Lili, but left me arguing the case that perhaps one single rose was much more romantic.  Nick strode on ahead, confident and self-assured, oblivious (seemingly) to mine and Lili’s ‘discussion’; a ‘discussion’ that during the course of a journey to some dwelling or other, had me in tears.

Inside the dwelling, in the dark by the firelight, Nick left for some reason.  And Lili and I sat alone (in the ‘night clothes’ we’d wear whenever I stayed at Tagge Road) and I told her my feelings, touching her shoulder and pleading with her to stay.  I was yelling, ‘I love you!  Don’t you realise?  Could you not love me back?  Why have you never bothered to love me?!’  She turned to me and caressed my cheek.

‘You fool,’ she said.  ‘I’ve always loved you, but I held it all back.  I couldn’t trust myself.  I can never be trusted.’ 

She then leaned in to kiss me.

And reality destroyed my dream.  As always.

Later:

My No.1: ‘Hallelujah (Club Mix)’ – Happy Mondays

PLACEMENT
We spent another day dealing with the separation of plot from character.  The entire focus has been on treating the plot as almost sacred.  This was undertaken mostly through a variety of word games and exercises organised and implemented by Jude.  Again, it’s hard to tell how effective these exercises have been.

Helen is quite taken with the Market Hall, and Murray has been lovely – buying me sweets and telling me stories.

The least friendly member of the company has been Roger.  Or maybe he’s just very shy?  Hard to tell.  But I haven’t taken to him at all.

Tonight I watched ‘South Atlantic Raiders Part 1’, the first episode of the new series of The Comic Strip Presents

EXCELLENT.


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘Eager and determined…’

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