The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 26 February 1990

Fergie and Cheggers



‘Ocean Size’ – Jane’s Addiction

I got into College, sat on the steps with Danny and Astra, and then Mary-Jane walked by.  She turned, looked up, and smiled at me.  I smiled back, of course.  I can only interpret her smile to me as a positive and encouraging sign.  I do hope so.

In the Common Room, I sat looking over at her occasionally.  She was with the blonde girl who I’m assuming goes out with my old school buddy Danny Chegwin.  Her name’s Sandra, I believe.  Add her to my list of favourite people.  Despite my looking over, Mary-Jane didn’t give me much feedback.  As she left – to go to the 3rd floor – so did I (I had a lesson) and I was walking along about two steps behind her, a bit unsure and a bit embarrassed.  She held the door for me and said ‘Bye.’  I replied, ‘Bye’ in a hoarse, choked and slightly pathetic squeak of a voice.  And that was that.

‘Forth Rode The King’ – Stephen Oliver

In the Common Room at break, we shared a few meagre glances – not much at all.  I hope we haven’t reached some kind of ‘lull’ stage.  I want to do something now; talk to her?  But how does one approach that problem?  What could I start talking to her about?  What can I feasibly do next without being laughed at?

I talked to Kat about it, because we’ve been through this stuff together.  I don’t want to attempt ‘stepping in’ behind Mickey’s back, either just at present or at all.  It would only complicate things in the future.  And I don’t want a complicated life.  Anyway, I’ve learnt all my lessons in that department.  I’d rather Mickey was out of the way properly before I allowed anything to develop, but it’s all a bit Catch 22.  Or something.  By which I mean he probably won’t really be out of the way unless I actually do instigate something.  And, in a sense, she’s handed me an ultimatum, hasn’t she?

Should I talk further with Daryl about it?  Can I even trust what Daryl tells me to be true?

It all feels a bit futile and I feel a bit pathetic – especially when I realise I only have 3 months left at College.  Help!

Mind you, time’s not quite so oppressive as I once thought.  Not since my trip last week…


9.15pm at Blackberry Narrow

‘Street Tuff’ – Rebel MC

That was during rehearsals. 

And the afternoon was even more interesting – just as I was feeling so terminal.

I passed by her and we both said ‘Hi’.  And later, she went to the ‘phones with Sandra.  Jonny passed her and said hello.  Then, on one of our little trips, he and I were asked by Sandra if we had any change for the ‘phone.  I did and I said she could keep it.  As I turned to go, with Mary-Jane watching, I knocked a ‘phone from its hook and then banged the bubble around it with my head as I was replacing it.

I could have died of embarrassment.

Anyway, Jonny and I went on our way, ‘bumping into’ them again later when Sandra insisted on giving me back some of the change she hadn’t used.  She then asked me if I was going to get together with her and Danny Chegwin for a drink sometime soon.  So I said I would give him a ring and check it out.  We all said ‘goodbye’ then.

‘March of the Ents’ – Stephen Oliver

Then, after break, I ran over to the two of them and asked Sandra to ask Cheggers to give me a ring tonite.  She said she would but – ho-ho – she had to take my number.  So I gave it to her, with Mary-Jane standing next to me.

Sandra: Yes and perhaps we could all go for a drink sometime (she gestures at Mary-Jane)?
Ritch: Yeah, sure.
Mary-Jane: Yes, I’m coming along too!  I’ve invited myself.

I grinned, pleased at the level of her commitment to our little game, despite my clumsiness, despite Mickey, etc.

Cheggers hasn’t rung me yet, but I was chuffed by another smile and a ‘Bye’ later in the day.

Roll on, tomorrow.

I think it would be good to get together with Sandra, Cheggers and Fergie.  I want to.  It feels positive.

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Next time: ‘The last dance…’

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