The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 20 January 1990

The Alien Visitor

AFTERNOON (EARLY)

‘Gentle Tuesday’ – Primal Scream

If Lilith has a dull weekend ahead, will she mind me calling on her for an hour or so this afternoon?

Later:

LATER THAT DAY: 11.15pm, actually…

‘Wise Up!  Sucker’ – Pop Will Eat Itself

I visited Lili.  And she was just in the middle of cooking her breakfast/dinner (should we really say ‘brunch’?): beans on toast.

She’d been intending to spend a day doing washing, but I came along and destroyed all her plans, so she made me a cup of tea and we sat in the living room as all the others were out.  She asked me whether we’d decided whether we would write to each other or not, and I think we finally decided to stay in touch.  Beautiful people are hard to come by.  Well, I mean I consider her very special, but she probably just sees me as any other Joe.  Which is sad.  But then why should she see me as special?  I only kind of turn up now and then, say bugger all, and then, when I do, it’s usually some terminal ‘when you leave I’ll be so upset’ bollocks; pre-pubescent adolescent crap.

‘Sixteen Different Flavours of Hell’ – Pop Will Eat Itself

I asked her how she saw her herself in ten years as we removed upstairs.  She says she hopes to be eccentric, with long auburn hair and long finger nails, but most likely with kids and a house.  No doubt with this Nick Valentine character.  She showed me photos of him and he looks okay, I suppose.  A bit boring, maybe.  She and he will probably get a place together.  She’s hoping to get a job up there in St Andrews.  This summer they’ll probably visit America; Washington or Fairfax or wherever he’s from.  I just hope he loves her and realises the true wealth of her beauty; knows what he has in his grasp.    I doubt he does, probably just thinks he does.

‘Heaven On Earth’ – The Mission

I asked her if she wanted to come and stay at my place for the rest of the weekend.  I wanted her company.  I wanted to make the most of knowing and being with her as good friends while we still can.  But she said no and put it down to having too much to do.  And then I asked if she would come over one day.  Finally she said ‘I can’t’.  And the reason was: ‘Nick wouldn’t like it.’

Me: It would only be visiting me.

Her: I know.  But it’s like Nick’s friend – Bunny or whatever her name is – I wouldn’t want him to stay with her, because we all know she wants to go out with him and he’s already admitted that if he didn’t have me then he would go out with her.  This is a bit like that.

Me: Would Nick even know you visited me?  Is he an all-seeing eye?  Is his presence all-pervading?

Her: It’s just not right.

I left it there, respecting – and I suppose admiring – her views.

LILITH LILITH LILITH LILITH

‘The Fuses Have Been Lit’ – Pop Will Eat Itself

You know, we often sit and look depressed and I struggle to make conversation.  I fail.  And she puts me on the spot, telling me to talk and it’s so hard and I feel so terminally depressing, especially when I start on the same old tragedies. 

I told her I’d miss her so much when she’s gone.

She said: ‘Why?  I’ve asked this before.  I don’t understand.  We see each other hardly ever.  Hardly even know each other.’

‘Just the way I feel about you,’ I said.  ‘I feel such an affinity to you.  I guess you could only comprehend it if you felt it.  I’m sorry you don’t.’

The sad thing is, I really don’t think she feels it at all.

LILITH LILITH LILITH LILITH

I then apologised for that heavy diary entry she read and she just smiled, but she looked a bit embarrassed.  This concerned me, so I came right out and asked her what she actually thinks of me.

She said: ‘I had always suspected you were an alien from Mars.  And, until today, I thought you could only come out on Wednesdays.  I can’t give you a serious answer.’

LILITH LILITH LILITH LILITH

‘Heaven On Earth’ – The Mission

I’m desperately trying to convince her to go to the Tech Disco, but I don’t think she will.

LILITH LILITH LILITH LILITH

She’s been stealing antique scarves + bags, etc. from THE OLDE CURIOSITY SHOP, which I find amusing.

LILITH LILITH LILITH LILITH

At one point today, as we sat on the bed, she bowed her head and looked genuinely fit to burst into tears.  She cradled her head in her hands as they rested on her knees.  I wanted to touch her then.  And all I can wish for now is to kiss those beautiful lips.  Unfulfilled dream.  And I shall respect her as my friend.  My beautiful friend.  Oh-so beautiful friend.

LILITH LILITH LILITH LILITH

I FEEL SO EMOTIONAL, SO INTENSE, IT’S UNBELIEVABLE!


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]


Next time: ‘The boring stuff…’

No comments:

Post a Comment