Just had a terrible dream. ‘Bout an hour ago. In it, I got to Tech and sat talking with Gemma who put her Filofax on the arm of my chair. Things were ACE, then Tom Gray came in. And she sat on his lap and… GOD! They kissed and she told me she’d ‘got off’ with him over the weekend.
I hated it.
‘Never Be Mine’ – Kate Bush
It’s been a lovely day. It’s freezing out, but the air just felt what you might call ‘nippy’. Lovely. It’s the autumn imagery: brown leaves being kicked underfoot. Cold air and Christmas on its way. And the bonfire smell.
It was, of course, a fantastic Gemma day. I met up with her this morning – still a little unsure of myself – dying to kiss her. And lots of Drama students giving us ‘surprised’ looks.
Well, after a particularly badly-attended BUT good MP rehearsal, I met Gemma at 1pm. After discovering her car had a flat battery, we walked into KL and had a coffee in DEBENHAMS and, of course, chatted at great length. I told her about my dream, but left out the bit about TG. She told me she’d dreamed of me, and that she’d fallen out with me and hated me. Then, a little embarrassed, she told me why she’d fallen out with me and admitted it was a bit of a paranoia excursion: in the dream I ‘got off’ with Emma. Of course, at this I came clean about the TG bit of my dream and we laughed. Then we found ourselves kissing, holding each other arm-in-arm and generally being and feeling beautiful together.
We moved on to CROFTERS, making a mess of the milk and salt and pepper as we chatted and daring each other to taste it. It all felt silly and funny and good. Damned good. I’ve found a new kind of happiness and I can’t contain it! To feel so good about Gemma Winchester is incredible. It’s also fresh. And totally UNforced. We kiss and it’s like ace. Even though our mouths don’t totally fit. And she’s so mature, but with a mad streak (like me?). And she’s really not afraid to be silly.
I’ll see my LIBRA GIRL tomorrow and I can’t wait. Even it will only be for an hour.
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Next time: ‘Babysitting the Irresponsible…’