The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 19 October 1989

The Death of Doctor Who

8.45am: REHEARSE ‘Chapters 14 and 15’ of MANSFIELD PARK

10.45: Break

11.15am: RUN ‘Chapters 13, 14 + 15’


5pm: REHEARSAL, ‘Chapters’ to be decided



My No.1: ‘Head On’ by Loop

Just when Emma and I are getting on so well we suddenly start getting ‘bitchy’ with each other.  And I hate it. 

And why do most people think Emma and I are ‘back together’ again?

I’ve had plenty of instances today where I’ve had to convince folks that we’re not – nor will we ever be.

Apparently she’s been describing our current ‘relationship’ as something like this: ‘There’s nothing definite; it’s quite non-committal; we’re not going out with each other, just sort of “seeing” each other…’


And Julian says she’s confused over me and has suggested that I might be ‘leading her on’.  Julian reckons I should talk to her about it.  Deeply.  But what do I say?  I don’t know.

Speaking of ‘leading on’, it kind of looks as if Abby is doing this to poor old Johnny.


‘Reaching Out’ – Kate Bush

TODAY, I found myself enjoying the challenging concept of KILLING GOD.  Not that I’m saying I want to!  But what an intriguing idea.  Imagine we discovered ‘he’ actually exists as some kind of ‘tangible’ entity and we could ‘locate’ ‘him’, would we hunt ‘him’ down and exploit him?  Would we kill, destroy or replace ‘him’ with a ‘god’ of our preference?

It’s like this week’s CRISIS
A normal, nice guy – a plumber – is worried about his wife who’s in labour in a hospital.  He goes to church and prays to god that she’ll be fine and that they’ll have a healthy kid.  Returning to the hospital, he finds his wife has died of internal haemorrhaging and his baby has died.  Days later – after the funeral – the guy goes back to the church and yells, ‘I swear I’m going to kill you for this, God!’ – and it’s stunning.  The idea of a bullet with God’s name on it.  Challenging, amazing and, yes, disconcerting.

Moving on…

I worry about Jack’s future after school.  What will he do?!  I want to help him get on in life in any way I can.

Other grasping attempts at philosophy
The Cybermen book has had me thinking a great deal about cybernetics and the computer generation.


Jodie has agreed to help me out with the Drama student delegation thing.  We arranged a revised document of initial findings following the meeting.  We’ll make photo-copies and forward them to relevant college staff members after half term.

I looked at some prospectuses and got to work on my UCCA forms.

I also went with Julian to see Mr Griggs – our department head – to negotiate permission to stage ANARCHIST and secure a budget.  He’s given us the thumbs up.

I wrote to The British Library regarding THE CHINESE PLAY.

Did some more creative work on Mansfield (pages 38, 39 + 40: Mary + Henry).  The standard of acting is coming on, but certain group personalities fuck me off.

Y’know, I really DO ‘fancy’ Abby’s sister, Lilith.  I mean, I still don’t know her, but she’s gorgeous.  Mind you, I reckon she can tell I watch her as she crosses the Common Room or look at her now and again.  She seems to look back at me quite often now.


STAN’s in Reading court today on drug charges from the festival.

The KATE BUSH LP is absolutely fantastic now.

And, finally, DOCTOR WHO

It felt like it was going to happen: NO Doctor Who in 1990, due to flagging ratings.  OB at the BBC is closing down now also, which might have a limiting impact on DW when it returns.  There’s already some rumour of independent companies making it for the BBC when it returns, but it’s also been suggested by some that Doctor Who may never return, EVER.  I am WELL SAD about this!  Can BATTLEFIELD really have had the series’ lowest ratings ever?  If so, well maybe they didn’t ought to put it on opposite the UK’s top-rated show, Coronation Street!  And all this just as the Ghost Light finishes.  All this just as Ghost Light takes its place as my favourite Doctor Who story ever.


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Next time: ‘Nigel Cameron: Knob…’

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