The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 28 August 1989

Changing Feelings

It’s roundabout 6.45pm

‘Exile’ – Enya

Today, we reached Coniston once again and it was truly beautiful, climbing the mountain.  Of the three of us, I climbed the highest, clambering vertically up shingle covered rocks, absolutely chilled to the bone with fear, but also exhilarated by wonder.  Looking around and below, I felt both safe and vulnerable a once.  It was such a beautiful location that the impact of it upon my vision almost nullified any terror or fear for safety.  The beauty brought tears to my eyes.  It was a kind of heaven, and something I shall have to savour yet again.

I wish Raquel and Flash could stop falling out as they did today.  I do feel sorry for her sometimes, but I also feel sorry for him in differing ways.  It’s obvious though that she’s after something simple and fun and romantic that doesn’t really include his overly-analytical and highly opinionated ramblings.  She’s very down-to-earth and he’s a bad communicator.  Thing is, he’s very, very intelligent and this makes him very, very clever.  He likes to show his intelligence – far greater than mine – by using the correct words and statements and arguments.  And why shouldn’t he?  He rightly glories in his intellectual superiority, he’s earned it and he values it.  It’s the thing that’s going to get him into Cambridge.  But to those of us that haven’t quite pulled their socks up, his words, statements and arguments sound like they come from a cold mind rather than a warm heart; like he’s lost all instinct for the Flash that both Raquel and I fell in love with.  Half the time, if I’m honest, I haven’t a clue what he’s on about or why.  He just can’t talk to sub-educated normal people anymore.  And maybe he doesn’t want to.  He doesn’t allow anyone room to offer their thoughts and feelings.  And as to what he actually ‘feels’ (rather than ‘thinks’) about anything these days, I have absolutely no idea.

Anyway.

The Indian restaurant has been booked for 7.30pm.  I shall shave now.

Ritcherd xxx

Later:

We ate Madras at the Indian and it was enjoyable but too hot for words.  Infernal?




Afterwards, we drank a few things in The Royal Oak – the first time we’ve been there in a while – as all the other pubs boasted the sign ‘COUPLES ONLY’.  This only made me annoyed at Natalia’s absence.

Ritcherd xxx


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Next time: ‘Farewell to the Lakes…’

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