ABOUT 10am at Jonny Badcock’s house.
‘Lady Marian’ – Clannad
Oh no! YIKES! I am hung over. And I’m off out again tonight. Well, if I get in touch with Ash soon enough. Which is very doubtful.
What an F.A.B. week it’s been, eh, readers?
Oh yeah, it’s Friday and we still don’t know what Kenneth was going on about regarding Larry.
To find out where Ritcherd went today and who Ash got off with, see my forthcoming entry!
‘Big Love’ – Fleetwood Mac
My day began at Spangles nite club, in the wee small hours, where I got absolutely plastered. Pissed out of my fucking head.
I danced with Kat, chatted with Gemma and Jamie for a bit and then I got chatting with Donna and Simon, noting to them both that I had found his performance as Frank’n’Furter rather sexy. He attempted to embarrass me by nibbling at my ears in front of everyone (felt gorgeous). I did want to ‘retaliate’ by kissing him, but it wasn’t just ROCKY people in the club, there were some local ‘lads’ and I really didn’t fancy the idea of either of us being queer-bashed (there’s a bit of it going on just lately) for the sake of a bit of fun.
This led to me talking very drunkenly to Jamie Davenport about certain experiences I’d had as a kid and how that led to lots of gender orientation questions in my early teens. Jamie’s a nice guy. But I just ended up being a right camp sod all nite. I bet people were getting annoyed with me. I flirted with everyone, men and women, telling them I had an ‘ambiguous sexuality’ and that when it comes down to it, I have the potential to be an ‘everybody’s man’. I am a silly sod when I drink.
There were some odd sights there, though. Marita getting off with Darren; Jolene looking dead bored with her boyfriend; Nigel Cameron getting off with anybody; the band removing Jodie Ratcliffe’s bra; Una Baker getting off with Solomon Brown – SHOX ‘N’ ORRORS!
For some reason, dunno why, Jonny decided he’d also like to stay at Sally’s, so I said ‘Okay, we will…’ I confessed to him what happened last nite and he said he totally got it. He said he doesn’t especially fancy her, but has often thought of ‘doing rudies’ with her. He also said he feels like he fancies a new girl every day, these days. It’s Charley at the moment. Now more than ever. Jonny seems more and more like a Gemini all the time! He’s a good friend. A very good friend.
Flash's Brock Cock
At Sally’s, he and I slept in Sally’s bed with Sally, and Kat and Shelley slept on the floor. Sharon vomited in a carrier bag and threw it out into the street below, which was hilarious. She slept in Double D’s room with Jodie who kept getting her tits out.
‘Ecstasy of Gold’ – Ennio Morricone
This morning, after some sleep, Jonny and I went to his for breakfast.
On TV-AM was first ever Doctor Who producer, Verity Lambert, and despite the fact that she’s just made a film with Meryl Streep, it’s nice to hear her say she regards DOCTOR WHO as her favourite product.
After breakfast, we went into Tech where I spent a little time with Emma before returning home on the ten past twelve bus.
WHATEVER HAPPENED NEXT?!
‘Fish’ – Throwing Muses
Wondering what happened tonight?
Well, it was definitely a JEZ weekend. And once back at BLACKBERRY NARROW, I put on all my belts, my awful waistcoat, my sleeveless t-shirt, my leggings, my trousers, my woolly sox and my Docs.
Then I packed my rucksack with pop, Kit-Kats, mints and my sleeping bag. Put on my leather and went to SARAH’S CAFÉ where I met up with Legs and Ash. We then hopped on a 794 bus to NORWICH.
I did, of course, make it very clear to my mates that this visit to NORWICH did in fact bother me, due to all the controversies of last summer, the ‘difficulties’. In all honesty, I was hoping to avoid three people: a) Jim who runs the punk discos (because he was a mate of Willock) b) Jim’s girlfriend Lindsey (a friend of Kat) and c) Jason ‘Greasy Joe’ Hertford who is a complete pain in the arse (and backed Willock all the way at Belinda’s ‘machete party’ last summer). They were the ones I felt were most likely to hassle me over last summer’s KAT SITUATION.
On the bus, I was impressed that this was to be quite a magickal weekend. Legs + Ash are like an old couple who’ve been married for 70 years and have hated every minute of it. Ash goes on about Legs’ constant moaning, and Legs acts as if he’s about six (‘My dad can fight your dad’ type of thing). So it’s great when Ash gets going and we all take the piss out of Legs. HE HATES IT. WE LOVE IT. It’s all harmless, though. If it weren’t we’d be cruel and horrible at other things (Legs has a skin disorder, did you know?) and I’m not going to go that low. It’s just banter. They’re great boys.
THEN the bus arrived at NORWICH, time approx. 5.30pm, and we went to HERO’S (the place William once robbed) across from THE BELL for chicken nuggets and chips, and then, to a pub called The Plough for a pint before our TAXI arrived.
BUT FOR WHERE?
FIND OUT SOON!
‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ – Guns ‘n’ Roses
Where was that TAXI taking the three lads to when it departed The Plough?
It took them to the University of East Anglia. Once arrived, the lads observed that the place was full of (mainly) teeny-goths, and then proceeded to the Student Bar to get very pissed.
I don’t deny it. We got willied, and this was to be a nite of booze + music.
Now, in the bar, I spent five minutes, head bowed low as in walked two of the people I wanted to avoid – Jim and Lindsey! Eventually, though, I got bored of watching my step. This’ll happen when large amounts of export lager trundle down your gullet. Jim and Lindsey didn’t even notice me anyway.
But then he did. He had to really, didn’t he? Well, it wasn’t me he noticed at first, it was Legs. I was just part and parcel of his whole recognition thing. So there he was: Jason ‘Greasy Joe’ Hertford. And I just couldn’t be arsed. Mind you, in a real turnabout, he was ever-so friendly – very open, actually, and after about two minutes, he’d gone. Me and the boys laughed and then went back up to the Common Room, bought tickets + got into ‘the gig’. Then the proper bar opened, WAHOO!
FOR MORE, SEE ME SOON…
‘Preacher Man’ – Fields of the Nephilim
Once inside the gig, Ash got talking to some Goth bloke for five minutes and Legs got talking to a girl called Sue from Scunthorpe, whom he eventually ‘got off’ with.
As I plodded about, I saw Libby from King’s Lynn and then talked at length with ‘Greasy Joe’ before bumping into old friend Jo Jordan who’s still ever-so nice.
Then I thought ‘sod it’ and decided to go and talk to Jim and Lindsey who actually seemed REALLY pleased to see me. Leslie’s dead GOFFIC now and I’m sure that’ll shock Kat. Jim’s still a really nice bloke + no one even mentioned the Kat/Willock thing. So I was quite chuffed.
Then the support band came on + me ‘n’ Ash got down and grooved, crying cries of ‘ROCK ‘N’ ROLL, INNIT?’ as usual. The support band were brilliant – but I’ve forgotten what they were called – and we really enjoyed it. They were quite Heavy Metal, actually. DEAD GOOD.
Then, in swirls of dry ice, etc (or were they clouds of flour?), on came one of the bands I used to call ‘favourite’:
…and they were quite good. But I didn’t notice them too much. I was too busy with the newly-arrived Mooney and Doody, yapping away and looking at all the girls. Eventually, Mooney and I went into the crowd and slammed and moshed. At one point, I piled in with Ash on my shoulders and it was hilarious, especially as the crowd begin to really squash me and Ash slid off sideways, but with one of his legs still wrapped around my choking neck. I was thinking, ‘Oh my god, we’re both dead.’ But luckily we survived.
Mooney and I got together again and launched ourselves into the slamming crowd, joining in with vigour; which was good, as I ended up with a massive space around me ‘cos people were avoiding me. Later, I noticed a huge crowd of shirtless, dead violent moshers; pissed out of my head, I jumped straight into the throng – and found myself thriving and surviving. But shortly, as they decided to give me jyp, crowding on me a fair bit, I thought it might be best to knock one down. So I did.
Moving into another part of the crowd, I decided it might be a good idea to give up the moshing and just jig a bit, unless someone severely knocked into me or something. But then some HUGE bloke decided he would and we tussled a bit in our groovy ‘dance’, until I knocked him to the ground too and watched him disappear beneath the slamming crowd. Then I noticed Ash was being squashed somewhat and found myself slamming a huge section of the crowd back to get him out. Ash and the girl he is now definitely entangled with, that is. What girl? Jo Jordan! What an uncanny turn-up.
Anyway, as for The Neph, their best tracks were ‘Slowkill’, ‘Blue Water’, ‘Preacher Man’ and, most of all, the fantastic ‘Preacher Man’.
As the gig finished, who did I bump into? Simon Nightingale! He’d been on his own all nite, which struck me as a bit sad, as he could have joined us. Never mind. Oh aye, he’s coming to Tech next year, DEFINITELY, which is good.
Anyhow, me ‘n’ Mooney were waiting for Ash, Doody and Legs, and then Greasy Joe came along and started asking for cash. I said fuck off, and so did Mooney, laying a hand on his shoulder. Greasy Joe decided to be a TWAT then and said to Mooney (in a ‘I’m hard’ voice), ‘DON’T TOUCH ME … DON’T TOUCH ME…’ This was like a red flag to me, so I put my hand on his shoulder as well. He got snotty with me then, but backed down.
‘Gordon’s Gin’ – The Human League
Eventually, ‘The Posse’ re-formed (me, Mooney, Ash, Doody, Legs, and Sue with her friends Carl and Chris). We all went on the bus, constantly taking the piss – quite hellishly – out of Greasy Joe.
We then went to Pizza Hut and ate + ate. Unfortunately, Doody was frighteningly pissed and he ended up breaking a lamp, and kicking a chair over. When he threw parmesan + herbs all over me (and my food), I was less than chuffed so I punched him in the side of the head. To which he was left both unamused and somewhat stunned. Well. I’m not going to stand for that sort of carry-on, I’m sorry.
At the end of it all, we all went to pay the bill (individually) and Doody sneaked out without paying, which could have caused us a lot of trouble, but luckily it didn’t.
A little later, Doody + Mooney got a taxi to Doody’s car (parked at the UEA) in which they intended to sleep the nite. As for us lot, we all wandered around looking for a place to kip down in our sleeping bags. As we did, Carl told me that he, Chris + Sue were following the entire Neph tour and had to be in Leeds tomorrow evening, and Glasgow after that.
Anyway, the six of us eventually kipped down in a car park ‘foyer’, and – despite the cold – my sleeping bag was gorgeously warm.
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Next time: ‘The Future…’