The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 30 March 1989

The Innocents


‘Of Course I’m Lying’ – Yello



 

At 12.10am this morning, Flash rang-up LOLA’S.  Lola answered and Flash chatted to her for ages, much to our surprise!  Eventually, at Flash’s request, ‘Dave’ came on.  I was on the extension, pissing myself.  ‘Dave’, knowing full well who Flash was, eventually submitted to a grilling and answered Flash’s question.  And his real name?  You really want to know?  His real name is JEFFRY SMITH!

 

ha-ha-ha!

 

It all ties in.

 

I chatted with Gerry till 4am, as Flash listened to CDs on his ‘new on Tuesday’ CD Player.  At 4am, Gerry and I kissed goodnite, sharing a strangely long + unexpectedly tender moment, until I finally pulled away and got in bed with Flash.

 

Later:

 

‘Witch in the Ditch’ – Erasure



 

FLASH WRITES:

 

11.15am

 

KNOCKERS!  It annoys me when:

 

People leave tissues lying around.

People leave the bed in a right state.

People leave MY fountain pen lying around with NO TOP ON and LOSE THE TOP!

Our boiler has yellow smoke streaming out of it and the neighbours see it and our cat is locked in with it and we don’t wake up ‘til three hours later and the neighbours say, ‘Oh, we saw the smoke when we woke up.’

CUNTS!

I’m sorry, but CUNTS!

It’s not fair.  I can’t stand people like that, I really can’t.

 

So, have we had a groovy week in West Yorkshire?  Yes, we have, but can you non-Castleford people believe that on one trip up the road to the Off Licence, Ritcherd and I counted 86 separate piles of dog mess!  Eighty-six!  I live in Castleford and even I can’t believe it!  86!  Well, that’s CAS VEGAS for you!  I wish I was still living in PONTE CARLO!

 

Ah well, Ritcherd will be gone soon, at 12.30pm, and as always it’s a sad occasion.  As he said to Raquel and I last night, ‘You’ve become part of the fixtures and fittings.’  I’m sure he didn’t mean to be boring when he said it, and I’m sure I don’t either.  Let me say this – it’s been great having you, Ritcherd, old buddy, and I’ll miss you being around.  See you soon – good luck with all your endeavours and enterprises.  Hope everything comes up bubbles for you.

 

So, until next time,

BOUP-GAROU,

From

Flash

XXX

 

PS.  I love my new CD Player.

 

Later:

 

2pm.

THE TRAIN.

 

‘Theme From S-Express’ – S-Express



 

I FEEL RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE.

 

Oh, I felt sure we were accidentally sitting in FIRST CLASS.  Well, the Ticket Inspector just checked us out and we’re kosher.

 

I’ve left them, then.

 

‘SO YOU’RE GOING TODAY,’ said Raquel in a sad voice.  ‘I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO.  COME AND LIVE IN MY LOFT.’

 

It’s a sod.  I’ll miss it, as I always do.  It’s been an incredible week.

 

Later:

 

So today was ‘going home’ – thanks to Mr P. Jones, stage star.

 

CRIKEY!

 

Later:

LATE AT NIGHT IN THE PURPLE ROOM AT BLACKBERRY NARROW.

 

‘Blessed State’ – Wire



 

So here I am.

 

And I just want to cry again.  And again.  And again.  I have a cup of tea with me and the Wire tape my Dad did me.

 

This hol, I have watched Who Dares Wins (SKILL!)…

 

…and Bad Day At Black Rock (watched with my Granddad W skill). 


 

Tonite, I’m taping The Birds


…and Educating Rita is on tomorrow.


 

Just found myself thinking about that night after MACBETH when I stayed with Lee-Anne Jones and we massaged each other.  I enjoyed fondling her buttocks + breasts.  She’s left the course now…

 

Later:

 

‘Hallowed Ground’ – Erasure



 

So, when I awoke today, I said farewell to Dad + Annie, then Raquel (over the ‘phone), and finally Flash.  Paul drove over with Jack + took us to DONNY and we came home, although not directly, as I found time in Peterborough to buy ERASURE’s The Innocents LP for a fiver.


 

Oh, Flash.  Oh, Raquel.  Oh, Flash.  I’ll miss you both.

 

I cleaned out my room when I got in and rearranged stuff and – oh god – I just cried. 

 

Chip’s great.

 

God, I cried.  I want to be with you so much, it’s incredible.  Do you understand?  I love you, Flash.  And I long to be with you (and your Raquel) again, so we can laugh + be uninhibitedly SKILL!

 

I’ll cry again now.

 

GOODNITE.

 





 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Another dream of Beatrice…’

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