The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Sunday, 26 March 1989

Behind Watford


EASTER SUNDAY 1989

 

 IT MUST BE EXTREMELY LATE, DEAR DIARY, BUT NOT QUITE ‘EASTER MONDAY’ YET…

 

‘Shout’ – Tears For Fears



An oldie!

 

Well, well, well.  A slower day than usual, I suppose.  I arose from a strange slumber really late.

 

BUT WHAT DID I DREAM?

 

First of all, I was in a call box near the Spar Shop at NORCAT.  Flash walked up to me in his herringbone coat and said, ‘Oh, my mum said you’re coming to stay on Tuesday and Wednesday.’

‘Eh?’ I asked.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘if you come, we’ll have a little do on the Wednesday nite before you go.’

I remember being really pissed off, because I was back in Norfolk, and I couldn’t afford the train fayre back up (and down again) to get to this ‘do’.  So I said, ‘I’ll think about it.’

 

I then went up to the Drama Studio and began to kiss Emma a lot, after which she had to go off for a lesson.  I sat down and drew some caricatures of my fellow Drama students and some of the staff.  Scarlett Kane, our dance tutor, came in and asked me why I always drew her ‘funnily’.  I said I didn’t know.  She sat on the windowsill and was joined by Simon Lewis who sat next to her.  We then had a big conversation, about what, I can’t remember.  But during this conversation I began to ‘grope’ Scarlett’s knee.  When I realised what I was doing, I said, ‘Oops!  Sorry.’  I then moved on to Simon’s knee and fondled that!  Again, realising what I was doing, I stopped.  And then began to fondle my own knee, muttering, ‘I’ve got this knee fixation.’

 

As Simon + Scarlett left, Emma re-emerged and we began to kiss yet again – for ages and ages, until I began to think, ‘God!  God!  I’m going to miss my bus home!  It’s 4.15pm!’  I told her we’d better go, and we rushed off to the buses.  But only one bus remained – Emma’s.  She got aboard + waved farewell.

 

As I got to the ‘bay’ where my bus should have been, I noticed Larry Goodgirl was doing the Porter’s job of bus duty.  He came up to me and asked me if I was ‘ready for tonight’.  It was at this point that I realised I wasn’t, in fact, a student, but I WAS a Kathakali Dancer.



 

So I returned to the Drama Studio, where Simon did a make-up test on me, in blues, blacks + the all-important GREEN!  I washed the test off as Simon went away to see Maggie, his girlfriend – or so he said.  I felt very jealous and wanted to be the one going off to see Maggie.  With nothing else to do, I put the make-up back on and it looked brilliant!  Then in came Maggie.  I asked her if she was still going out with Simon.  She said, ‘No,’ and I felt suddenly very happy.  But then Simon returned and she left.  I followed her, going down the Library Block stairs, which suddenly turned into a scene from ITV’s THE BILL, and I was joined by various cops from the show.  As part of the drama, I went with a bunch of them to the first house I had ever lived in – at Western Avenue, Pontefract – where a terrible murder was taking place.

 

It got confusing from hereon, but an evil woman set about the cops with a big, sharp, dart-type object.  I ran, not daring to look back, hiding in various gardens, hearing the deaths of several policemen behind me, and knowing that sooner or later she’d get me…

 

‘Chains of Love’ – Erasure



 

Anyway.  Today, I ate Sunday Lunch with Gran + Granddad Winterfood + Gran Sugden, before watching EASTENDERS and then toddling off to Flash’s.  He played my new Yello record, and it’s fantastic.  We then proceeded to spend about five hours writing a six-page script, Behind Watford - the ‘Arts In Society’ Sketch, which I think is fabulous and totally BREE BAG WOZ.

 

I returned here, to Gran’s, but not before my Dad rang to tell me we can spend Tuesday together, which I’m looking forward to immensely.  GREAT STUFF.

 

AND WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW?  WHO CAN SAY?  EH?

 





 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘The amazing bed saga…’

No comments:

Post a Comment