The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 20 February 1989

Five Years From Now: 20/02/94


FIVE YEARS FROM NOW…

 

‘Stay Together’ – Suede



 

TODAY WAS QUITE A SURPRISE.

 

WE HAD A LIE-IN THIS MORNING AND MISSED PLANET OF THE APES.  BUT AS LILITH MADE ME BREAKFAST IN BED, THERE WAS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.  QUITE UNBELIEVABLY IT WAS BETTY, FREDDIE AND CHIP.  I WAS REALLY VERY, VERY HAPPY TO SEE THEM.  THEY’D EVEN BROUGHT MORE OF MY STUFF FROM THE BUNGALOW: ALL MY RECORDS AND BOOKS.  THIS MADE ME HAPPY.

 

CHIP WAS ACE, RELISHING TELLING ME THAT ON HIS FOOTBALL TRAINING TRIP HE AND HIS FRIENDS HAD WRITTEN ‘SEX’ ON THE BACK WINDOW OF THE COACH IN BREATH-FOG.  HE SEEMED DEAD CHUFFED.  ADDITIONALLY, HE ADVISED ME THAT IF LILITH EVER TELLS ME OFF I SHOULD WAIT UNTIL SHE’S OUT OF EARSHOT AND CALL HER A PERVERT UNDER MY BREATH.  GOOD OLD CHIP.

 

‘I Ain’t Done Wrong’ – Yardbirds



 

BETTY WAS LOVELY AND FREDDIE WAS SKILL.  THEY EVEN DROVE LILI AND ME TO OXFORD STREET, WHERE WE ATE A HUGE MEAL AT THE CUMBERLAND HOTEL.  I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.  I HAD ABOUT NINE DIFFERENT SALAD STARTERS.  LILITH HAD FRESH PRAWNS, WHICH SHE HAD TO SKIN HERSELF, REMOVING THE HEADS BEFORE SHE ATE THEM. 

 

LILITH: ‘WHAT ARE THOSE LITTLE BLACK BITS?’

RITCHERD: ‘THEIR EYES, BABY…’

 

AFTER MY STARTERS, I HAD A HUGE ROAST DINNER, FEATURING: COURGETTES, BROCCOLI, DELICIOUS ROAST POTATOES, STUFFING, TURKEY, AND THE MOST GORGEOUS ROAST BEEF I’VE EVER TASTED IN MY LIFE.  FOR DESSERT, I HAD PROFITEROLES IN CHOCOLATE SAUCE, FOLLOWED BY CHOCOLATE ORANGE CHEESECAKE AND THEN TREACLE TART WITH CREAM.

 

I WAS STUFFED – ESPECIALLY WITH LAGER AND COFFEE SWISHING IT ABOUT.

 

IT COST FREDDIE A PACKET AND WE WERE VERY, VERY GRATEFUL.

 

‘Blown Away’ – Tripping Daisy



 

AFTERWARDS, WE WENT FOR A LOOK AROUND THE SHOPS.  POLICE CARS WERE RUSHING ABOUT LIKE CRAZY.  SOME GUY HAD BLOOD POURING OUT OF HIS HEAD.

 

THANKS A LOT TO BETTY AND FREDDIE.  IT WAS REALLY ACE OF YOU.

 





 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Record shopping…’

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