The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Sunday, 25 December 1988

Christmas Day 1988



 

‘Hergest Ridge (Side One)’ – Mike Oldfield



 

Santa pops his head round the door, but there’s something familiar about that jutting nose and jaw, and the way he says ‘Hee-ep!’

 

Chip’s cute.  I babysat for him tonite / this morning as Betty, Freddie, Jack + Queenie went to Midnight Mass.  I wanted to go, but I stayed to listen for Chip (not that I had a choice, but I was actually really happy to).  He had to get up, though.  He knew they’d gone.  We sat together on the sofa and I cuddled and loved him, telling him all about Christmas.  I felt such a lovely rapport with him.  He’s a love.  He’s a treasure.  He is fulfilment.

 

Later:

8.50am.

 

Berwin Groomstool leers evilly from beneath his Santa hat and behind his false, white beard…


 

What’s in my stocking?

A box of Harlequin chox (Oh, very panto topical!) and Stephen Wyatt’s Doctor Who novel PARADISE TOWERS! 


ACKER!  SKILL!  SKILLAFOOMHACKAR!  Cheers, Betty!

 

Later:

 

‘Christmas Song’ – Nat ‘King’ Cole



 

Last nite I dreamt that I was up in the Rehearsal Room at The Tower, with Ash + Dan.  They left, but loads of Goths, Punx, etc, came in + we had a massive party.  I went to the toilet, but when I’d finished, I came out and found myself face to face with old school mate James Abbott.  Apparently he lived in the room next to ours.  We talked about The Prisoner + Doctor Who and then I went up to the roof where the party was continuing.  After a while, I got bored + came down.  I saw Flash sitting alone in the rehearsal room and when he saw me we just burst out laughing at each other.  We then started planning our next Christmas Situation cassette + decided we’d do a Berwin Groomstool spoof of DickensA Christmas Carol.  Our biggest worry was in deciding what to call Berwin’s character.  Flash came up with a classic – we would call him SCROO-GEH.

 

Later:

10am.

 

‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas’ – Judy Garland



 

George just rang.  Merry Christmas, George.  He’s ace.  Good old George.  I read my report to him + he was pleased.  Thanx for the Chrissie / 18th Birthday pressie of £125.  Cheers, mate!

 

Berwin Groomstool, all jagged shark teeth and hypnotic eyes, covered in a vast white beard…


 


MERRY CHRiStMAS

HO-HO!

fookafox!

 

ACE!  Berwin’s just come in, dressed as Father Christmas!

 

Hello, Berwin.

 

hey up!  Can I come to

SiRONCHEST-HUR WITHee

AT HEXMAS NOO YEAR?

 

Yeah, it’ll be ace!

 


 

BUT ‘Nobody Owns Me’, ‘Fool For Love’ and, most of all, ‘Love Never Dies’ and ‘I Get Weak’ are the SKILLAFOOMBRILLABINGBONG TRAX!

 

Oh no!  Berwin’s coming at me with his Cleaning Robot!

 

Paradise Towers looks to be a skill novel!

 

HOPENING ME PRESENTS NAR!

 

Later:

A bit later.

 

‘Walking In The Air’ – Aled Jones



 

I’ve got: SOCKS, PANTS + AFTERSHAVE, from Queenie + Lucille; A BOX OF SKITTLES (THE SWEETS), from Jonny Spam (Badcock); A MARILYN MONROE CALENDAR, BUSTER GONAD AND HIS UNFEASIBLY LARGE TESTICLES BOXER SHORTS, SOME RAZORS (COS I PINCH FREDDIE’S!), SOME BLACK BOXER SHORTS, SOME BLACK SOCKS, DOCTOR WHO: GENESIS OF THE DALEKS / SLIPBACK LP CASSETTE from Betty + Freddie;
 

 

DOCTOR WHO: THE SEEDS OF DEATH NOVEL by Terrance Dicks, from Aunty Vi; DESPERATE DAN AND POPEYE BOXER SHORTS, THE OFFICIAL PRISONER COMPANION by Matthew White and Jaffer Ali,
 

 

THE PINK STIFF ONE VIZ ANNUAL,
 

 

VIZ COMIC (NOVEMBER ’88), DOCTOR WHO 25TH ANNIVERSARY LP,
 

 

TRAVELOGUE LP by The Human League,
 

 

THE KICK INSIDE LP by Kate Bush,
 


 
DOCTOR WHO: 25 GLORIOUS YEARS by Peter Haining,
 

 

and the following Doctor Who novels: THE HAND OF FEAR by Terrance Dicks, THE SENSORITES by Nigel Robinson, VENGEANCE ON VAROS by Philip Martin, THE MASSACRE by John Lucarotti, all from Betty.

 

I’m Feckin’

CHUFFED!

 

Later:

8.30pm.

 

‘Take Me To Your Heart’ – Rick Astley



 

I’m doing Flash a tape.

 





 

 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Boxing Day 1988…’

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