The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Tuesday, 2 August 1988

Storm


STORM.

 

We’re outside.

 

It is wonderful.  There is, as they often say, a storm brewing.  Right on top of BLACKBERRY NARROW.

 

FORKED LIGHTNING!

 

NOW THAT IS SPECTACULAR… especially with RED BITS in…

 

Flash writes:

What was that?

 

He then draws a picture of what we can see…

 

To the left of us, above the fields and distant trees, the sky is BLACK.  Directly in front of us, it is a sickly YELLOW.  To the right it is a summery BLUE…

 

It really is an impressive and unusual sight.  And we are walking into the path of the Forked Lightning.  It is getting very near.  And loud.

 

We have underestimated the yellow bit of sky (TWICE).  THAT is the storm.  And we’re in it, right now.  Flash and I. 

 

I LOVE STORMS!!!

 

The wind and the atmosphere are rumbling like something predatory, hungry.  But why won’t it rain?

 

Later:

A bit later…

 

Boldly, we try again, after fleeing the storm’s electric might.

 

Ah!

 

IT RAINS!  BUT ONLY AROUND US!?  NOT ON US?!

 

LIGHTNING!

 

Why are we standing in the middle of a cornfield, naked to the storm, Flash?

 

Flash writes:

Because we’re stupid!

 

We ARE the storm…

 

Rain, please!  Lightning, Thunder, PLEASE!

 

It is a bad storm.  I hear a dog barking.

 

Where are the whirlwinds?

 

It rains.  VAGUELY.

 

We are

directly

underneath

the

Thunder

are

we

mad

Yeyass!

 

Flash writes:

we

are

the

storm

 

Later:

 

‘Go Where You Wanna Go’ - The Mamas & the Papas



 

FLASH + I WENT WALKING IN THE FIELDS OPPOSITE BLACKBERRY NARROW AS A MASSIVE STORM RAGED ABOUT US.

 

KEIR CAME AND VISITED US.

 

Later: 

 

Kate Bush’s ‘Experiment IV’ makes me cry.  It is wonderful.



 

Later:

 

‘Happy Birthday, Mr President’ – Marilyn Monroe



 

Flash writes:

 

I don’t feel well.

 

Later:

 

‘Running Up That Hill’ – Kate Bush



 



 



 

A fat faced fellow with all his features clustered at the point where his nose should be…

 

A floppy bag of a head with cross-looking eyes…

 


 

Something fat and imperious with feathers growing out of its eyes and from its bulbous chin…

 

Flash.

 

The windows and bricks that come together to form SKILL ROAD, along which drives a crude little van, belching smoke…

 

Flash writes:

 

ROSE RING… by Dark Is Desire… is ACE!  SMAERGIE.  SKILL.  ACKER.  BRILL.  SKILL ROAD.  WONG.

 

A vicious looking rat – in 18 hole DMs and smoking a rolly – strokes the vast cock that bursts from his skinhead jeans.  It towers above him curling away into the vastness of the sky and back again, allowing its bell-end to form the ground upon which said rat is standing…

 

A hideous, squat monstrosity in a dress and laced boots, has a face somewhere between Tweety Pie and Fu Manchu.  His cock is made of varnished wood, and stringed like the fret of a guitar…

 

Something with webbed ears and sad eyes, weeps from the end of its penis-nose…

 

I love The Avengers (the 1960s TV series, not the Marvel Comic…)


 

COMING SOON:

 

SHOUT AS: [RITCHERD SEES AN OLD GIRLFRIEND!]

SAY ‘PLOP’ WHEN: [RITCHERD GETS AN AWARD!]

 

THE ADVENTURE

CONTINUES…

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Scarlet Woman…’

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