‘Kiss’ – Marilyn Monroe
When Kat stayed this weekend, Ms Wasp haunted me. I dreamt a spellbinding dream of intense realism. In the dream, I returned to her house on NORTH BRINK, and she reluctantly agreed to speak with me. I entered the house and we spoke as old friends. I was allowed to stay overnite, because the conversation was unstoppable. We talked and talked, and it seemed she was still very much engaged to Mark Dalton. I cried. She consoled. I woke up in tears, thinking: ‘Well, thank God we’re friends again.’ I turned over and tried to recreate the dream, just so I could hug her, be with her. But I could not.
Kat obviously saw a change in me all today.
I am going to send my acceptance letter for BTEC off this week.
‘Spanish Harlem’ – The Mamas & the Papas
It’s always been there. Or rather SHE’s always been there. INSIDE MY HEAD. And I can’t see her ever getting out of it. I DON’T WANT HER TO GET OUT.
Why are those three letters etched into my soul? Branded onto my heart?
IT HURTS, O YES IT REALLY HURTS. My neglect of that LOVE… 7 months and … I created a hell for myself, a hell that should have been blissful heaven.
SHE’S OBVIOUSLY STILL INSIDE MY HEAD.
I KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES. I KNOW HER ‘PHONE NUMBER. But I can hardly speak to her now, can I?
But then, I expect we’ll never speak or meet again. AND THAT’S DRIVEN HOME LATELY. She’ll probably start UNI somewhere this AUTUMN. When will I ever see her again after that?
… and 1988 DRIVES HARD…
ALL I WANT TO DO IS SEE HER. SPEAK TO HER.
ONE MORE TRY.
ONE LAST CHANCE.
I expect it’s impossible.
B.M.W. – why?
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Next time: ‘Unrequited love…’