The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 16 July 1988

The Secret Diaries of Legs


‘Train’ – The Sisters of Mercy



 

Legs writes:

 

My Version of Sat. 16th July…

 

(LEGS IS NOT GOOD WITH WORDS, PUNCTUATION, SPELLING, etc, BUT THEN WHAT SQUIRREL IS? – Ritcherd)

 

I met Jez (‘RITCHERD’, YOU NASTY MAN – Ritcherd) on the Norwich bus, which was late, and off we trundled.  In Norwich we ate, went to the bank, got me boots, went up to the Studio.  There was Sage and a few others I didn’t know.  Then we was going to WH Smith’s and see Lindsey, Kat (who look very nice) and Willock.  Kat, Jez (RITCHERD! – Ritcherd) and myself went into WH’s.  I gradually gathered that Jez (RITCHERD!! – Ritcherd) was looking for some Doctor Who books.  We found some, but not the ones we were seeking.  We then went off to another book shop and they didn’t (SHOCK!) have any Doctor Who books at all!!  We then made for the park.  There, were Willock, Jim, Lindsey and Leighton.  We sat and talked, then Kat and Willock had an argument (the first of many that evening) and walked off.  Jez (RITCHERD!!! – Ritcherd) and I went to the Wimpy.  Went back to the park.  I forgot to mention I had been drinking since we got to the park.  Leighton gave us a lift to Belinda’s, stopping off at the Red Lion (where I had a bloody awful pint of bitter).  Jez (RITCHERD!!!! – Ritcherd) and Belinda seemed quite friendly.  Kat and Willock made up and fell out again.  I mixed my vodka and bitter together (YAK!  IT WAS RAMMY STUFF! – Ritcherd) and got totally RatArsed yet again.  At the party were: Crow (a bit of a dickhead, but nice enough); Matt (a total dickhead) (LIKE IT! – Ritcherd); Belinda; Jez (RITCHERD!!!!! – Ritcherd); Willock; Kat; Harry (who acted a prat); me, and a couple of other people I didn’t know.  After a trip down the Off Licence, I had a heart to heart with Willock on our problems.  He helped me alot and I think we are destined to become firm friends.  I was singing along to ‘First And Last And Always’ (I sang to several Sisters tracks) and the second time round I sang ‘twenty-six years’ instead of ‘twenty-five years’, and everyone burst out laughing!  ‘But it’s in the Wake video at the Albert Hall!’ I said.  ‘No it bloody well isn’t,’ said Leighton.  Later, Jez (Thank you) backed me up.  Also at some stage in the night’s festivities, Belinda told Jez (RITCHERD!x6 – Ritcherd) I was making a prat of myself.  Oh yes, in the park, I looked down Kat’s cleavage.  Very nice (PERVY SOD! – Ritcherd).  

 

THE SECRET DIARIES OF LEGS, A SQUIRREL, esq., OR WHAT, EH?!

 

HI, I’M BACK…  RITCHERD, NOT SODDING JEZ.  YEEEEUUURGHH!

 

WHAT DID HAPPEN TONITE?

 

The weekend had its developments.  Legs gave a brief outline, and I shall elaborate.  BUT FOR NOW, MY DEVELOPMENTS WERE OF A TERRIFYING, HORRIFYING NATURE…

 

‘Tenterhook’ – Dave Vanian



 

Today, Legs and I roamed NORWICH until Kat at last joined us.

 

In the afternoon, she and WILLOCK argued a real lot, until we all went to BELINDA’s new house for a SOCIAL DRINK. 

 

This resulted in KAT and me taking long walks and talking.  Even our thoughts and phantasies are the same.  It’s great.  To be with her is great.  To kiss her is great.

 

We have begun to weave an even greater web of intrigue + deceit.

 

As things at BELINDA’s quietened down – she hates Kat, blaming her for ‘stealing’ me from her – we all sat and chatted.  Belinda wants rid of Leighton, it seems, and kept giving me longing stares.  Listening to Dave Vanian’s ‘Tenterhook’ in front of the coal fire was lovely.  Crow is a laugh.

 

 As the ‘party’ ended, we slept five in a bed in HARRY’s room.

 

From left to right: WILLOCK, KAT, RITCHERD, BART.  And across the bottom: LEGS.

 

Anyhow, in bed, all fell asleep, save Kat and I, who began to touch and feel; to explore each other’s bodies.  Her fingers, my fingers; her hayre, my hayre; her face, my face; her mouth, my mouth; her arms, my arms; her nails, my nails; my tongue, her tongue; her breasts, my teeth; her flower of passion, my penis…

 

I masturbated her as she lay next to her sleeping boyfriend.

 

AND IT WAS SO EVIL.  THAT FEELING – EVIL AND BEAUTIFUL.  SHE SEEMED TRANSFIGURED BEFORE MY EYES, DIFFERENT.  AND THOSE EYES…

 

TONIGHT, I BELIEVE I STARED INTO THE FACE OF DEATH.  SHE STARED BACK, HER PRETTY MASK HIDING HER TRUE GRIM VISAGE AND ENTICING ME FURTHER INTO UNKNOWN DEPTHS.  AND IF NOT DEATH, THE DEVIL, THEN.  I MET THE GRAND EVIL INCARNATE.  SHE WAS THE DEVIL.  SHE WAS THAT TRUE EVIL EMBODIED.  SHE WAS SATAN.  SHE WAS THE APOCOLYPSE.  SHE WAS THE ULTIMATE END.

 

AND I SOLD HER MY SOUL…

 

I LOST MYSELF IN THOSE EYES.  AND FACED A NEW HORROR.

 

A SPRIG OF HOLLY DUG ITSELF INTO MY HAND.  I PLACED IT IN MY MOUTH, BIT IT AND WAITED.  I KISSED THE EVIL; I BIT THE EVIL.  I BIT THOSE EVIL FINGERS.  THE EVIL BIT ME.  THE EVIL LICKED OFF MY SALIVA AND I DID THE SAME TO IT.  THOSE NAILS RIPPED MY CHEST.  THOSE TEETH SANK INTO MY ARMS.  MY TEETH SANK INTO SATANIC FLESH.

 

EVIL’S BREASTS WERE PRESENTED TO ME, FIRM AND DIVINE.  EVIL PLAYED UPON MY PHALLUS.  I PLAYED UP ITS SECRET NETHER LIPS, AND FOUND THE ENTRANCE TO A TRUE AND BEAUTIFUL NEW HELL.  TRUER THAN ANY OTHER TRUTH.

 

I WILL GO THERE AGAIN. 

 

AND STILL…  THOSE EYES, PROBING AND ENTICING.  SHE IS THE BEAST, SATAN, AND I AM HER TEMPTED FOLLOWER.

 

SHE IS THE ULTIMATE EVIL, EMBODIED IN WOMAN.

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘I answer to no-one…’

No comments:

Post a Comment