The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 2 July 1988

Another Drunken Norwich Party



I’m fucked OFF!











Spiny, sizzling dragons…


I’ve missed that sodding bus again.  I can’t believe it.  It’s fucking gone.  Missed by two minutes.  The next one’s at 3pm-ish.




Why me?  What a shyte!  If I get the bas, it’ll get in at 5.30pm.  If I get that, where will I stay tonite?  NOWHERE!




Oh, Kat, I’m dying to see you.


fuck Life






‘Houdini’ – Kate Bush


It was great of my parents to take me to NORWICH in the car (they were having a day out in that direction).  I got here at about 3.30pm and bought my sweet Mummy a birthday prez for Wednesday. 


My Mam is skill and I love her madly.



When I arrived, I hung ‘round with Willock and Sage and we all met up with Kat and Leighton.  As I sat and spoke to Kat, I got pizzled on a bottle of QC.


‘Burning Bridge’ – Kate Bush


Kat loves me so much and I find her so irresistible.  It’s nice to know she cares; that she readily tells me beautiful things.  And I love it when I’m so obviously exciting her just by the way I walk, or the way I stand.  And why shouldn’t I? 


We kissed, in secret, as I was pushing her on the swings.  It’s all very pretty, isn’t it?!


We all went down to THE RED LION, which was packed, and I downed a bottle of MARTINI.  Within, I was much surprised at NICKI’s eagerness to just chat with and hug me.  I also spoke briefly with Ben and Lizard, until Naomi Bell arrived and we entered upon deep and emotional words.  She spoke of the upcoming July 5th anniversary-that-never-will-be and told me she still loves me.  She also wants Flash and me to visit soon.


‘My Lagan Love’ – Kate Bush


We all drove down to Belinda’s place, and she even let me in, which was very surprising.  It was clear that she was waiting for Willock and Kat to finish so she could bed Willock, but wanted no parlez with Kat, Naomi Bell or the infamous Jason 'Greasy Joe' Hertford.  In the event, Leighton got off with Belinda (he really does love my left-overs!)


And on the subject of Jason Hertford…

He and I entered into a state of physical/ frictional contact, i.e. he was probably on something, because he decided I was having a go at him or taking the piss out of him or something.  He came right up to me and said, ‘You’re hassling me, aren’t you?’

I said no, but he persisted + pushed me in the chest – a lot.  So I put my bottle of CIDER down, grabbed him by the throat, smacked him into a wall, and squeezed.  ‘I am NOT hassling you,’ I told him.  Gasping for air, he apologised.  I let him go and walked off.

He came and found me later, apologising again and wanting to make up.  We hugged and he kissed me quite a lot.  We even – YAK! – kissed at one point.  With tongues.  My first full ‘gay’ kiss (as an adult).


‘Cloudbusting’ – Kate Bush


I downed my Cider and sat outside, talking, with Kat, and then Bugs, who sat enthralled by my limited but colourful knowledge of mysticism and the occult, which is apparently renowned among the NORWICH teeny-goths.  FINE! 


Inside, I got chatting to Naomi Bell, who has grown to become and even greater friend.  Or, to quote Naomi:


‘One minute Jez was talking to me and the next he had his tongue down my throat…’


For me, the party became quite vague around this point.  I ‘got off’ with Naomi a bit – so I’m told – and then passed out in the toilet. 



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]


Next time: ‘Sitting on logs…’

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