The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 9 June 1988

Touch Me


12.40am.

                        




 

Natalia rang this evening.  She’s excellent, and yes, I now find it very safe to openly say this in my diary:

 

WITHOUT TRYING TO DEMEAN NATALIA AS A PERSON OR ANYTHING CRASS LIKE THAT, I ADMIT THAT EVER SINCE THE MISH GIG I HAVE OFTEN IMAGINED WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE TO MAKE LOVE TO HER.  I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HER BODY, AND WHAT SHE MIGHT LOOK LIKE NAKED.  I HAVE IMAGINED MY HANDS AND TONGUE UPON HER, AND HERS UPON ME.  I HAVE WONDERED WHAT IT MIGHT FEEL LIKE TO BE INSIDE HER.  I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT OFTEN – AND I PARTICULARLY FELT IT LAST THURSDAY AT BLOSSOMS.

 

Why am I saying this now?  Why so blatantly?  Well, I’ve reached the point with Nat where I’d best start being up front about my feelings, so there’s no confusion and no reliance upon reading between the lines when she reads or hears me read what’s been written in my diary.  I’d best start saying what I really feel:

 

I AM SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HER, AND LAST THURSDAY I WANTED NOT JUST TO TOUCH AND KISS HER, BUT MAKE LOVE TO HER, TO GO DOWN ON HER.

 

BUT…

…the purity of my love for her remains.  I don’t know if we will ever make love.  After all, she is still going out with Mark, and I think she should be the one to give me the all-clear.  What will be, will be.  I accept that.  But I hope we will make love.  ONE DAY.  For now, I shall continue to let the Universe happen around me.

 

Nat’s call was great.  We seem to have been more aware of each other’s feelings + seemed even closer by the end of the call.  We spoke more freely of LOVE and this developed into talk of SEX and our FUTURE.

 

I will take that flashing chance at bliss if you will permit me, Natalia. 

 

I LOVE YOU.

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘The Final Death of Jez…’

No comments:

Post a Comment