The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 25 June 1988

Naomi Bell's Video Party

‘Ant Music’ – Adam and the Ants




I missed the 12pm bus by about five minutes and so had to wander around Wisbech, meeting many a stare (no one is quite used to GOFF at the extent to which I was deliberately cliché-ing it today).


So I went in BACCHALLY’S – which was packed – and ate Lasagne and French Fries with Grapefruit Juice.  I was so ‘out of place’ there (it’s very polite), but I carried off my Victorian Gentlegoth pose to a seemingly fine art.


Then a note fell onto my table:




Nat.  She was incredibly busy.  On the way out, I handed her vols. I + II of my 1986 Diary, in her Jiffee bag.  I told her not to ring, but that I’d be in touch.  All v. brief.  I think we are creating a gap that can sit nice and neatly in-between us.


‘Christian D’or’ – Adam and the Ants


I then went to the Library, and spent up until 3.25pm reading Peter Haining’s Doctor Who: A Celebration.


I eventually got the 5.25pm to NORWICH and it arrived two hours later.  Luckily, Kat + Willock had rung my home to find out why I had not been on the 12pm, and I had left a message with Betty explaining my travel options.  So, when I arrived, they were waiting for me at the Bus Station.  Willock and I did not speak, and Kat left him with his friends as we went to the Castle grounds to ‘work on her A-level monologue’.


There, we sat upon the moist grass, and she was wonderful.  We leafed thru’ the script, briefly, but then talked about the last few weeks apart and how we’d both been dying to see each other.  Then we traversed the grounds, looking over the hillside and across Norwich, acting silly.  In my Goth get-up (I think it’s the frilly shirt and the tail-coat that do it) we decided I was a combination of THE DOCTOR, THE MASTER, SHERLOCK HOLMES, THE EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE, and PROFESSOR HIGGINS from Pygmalion.  KAT was my ELIZA DOOLITTLE!


‘Prince Charming’ – Adam and the Ants


So there we were – Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn – talking and laughing and squirming; speaking of our true feelings for each other.  I told her how something had clicked into place from the moment we started going round with each other on the 4th June (was it the 4th?).  And since then, it has been growing.  I told her that she is my MOONCHILD, and that the KISS we shared was beautiful.


We adore each other; it’s plain to see.  There is such a bond.  And I so much wanted to kiss her, but the VICTORIAN GENTLEGOTH gave me a sense of HONOUR, which prevented me from doing this.  She loves Willock so much, but cannot understand why she continually wants to be with me.


She wants to share her life with me.




‘Stand and Deliver’ – Adam and the Ants


It was great at the Castle, but soon we had to meet the others in THE RED LION. 


When we got there, Belinda called me a ‘womaniser’, saying I ‘get around’.


True, I get around, but I resent being called a womaniser.  I adore women, it’s true, but I cannot help my feelings for them or if relationships prove unsuccessful.  I’m eighteen, for god’s sake, and life is for living!  What am I supposed to do?  Get married?  Become a monk?  A eunuch? 




I may as well add here that it was stunning how many times Willock ‘n’ Kat had bickering little arguments to varying strange degrees all evening.  I am beginning to dislike him more and more.


Anyway, it appeared that Kat and Willock and Leight ‘n’ Suzi were suddenly invited to a ‘VIDEO-PARTY’ at Naomi Bell’s, but it was all secret so that I wouldn’t go!  But Stan opened his gob and told me all about it, telling me that neither myself, nor Greasy Joe Hertford, were invited – the only two in the town not invited.


Stan took great pleasure in telling me this, and I wanted to break his smug little face.  He’s such a wanker.  It was crap when he saw my ‘tails’.  He, quite obviously, decided I was ripping him off.  I shrugged him off by saying, ‘Oh, I just decided to be a Goth for the day.’


‘Look at me,’ he said, trying to impress, ‘I’ve been a Goth all week.’

‘Yes,’ I said.  ‘It’s crap, innit?’


And it was.  It suddenly felt very dull.


‘Friends’ – Adam and the Ants


Eventually, in spite of Stan’s pleasure at telling me I was uninvited, I decided to try my luck and charm my way into Naomi’s ‘party’.  So, Kat, Willock, Suzi, Leighton and I clambered into the orange Beetle and went to NB’s place.  Kat and I sat in the car, as Willock ‘n’ Leighton begged Naomi for my admittance.


Anyway, Naomi came out to the car and said ‘hi’ to Kat, and, ‘What are you doing here?’ to me.  All I could do was grin at her like a lesser-spotted dillon plant.

‘Okay,’ she said, ‘come on in.’ 


As we entered, Naomi said, ‘Jez, I want to talk to you later…’

‘Oh?’ I gulped.  ‘Is it bad?’

‘No,’ she said.  ‘Look, come here…’


So she took me to the back yard and we made our peace.  She immediately apologised for her recent bad attitude towards me and for being bitchy over the last four or five times our paths have crossed.  She said she had realised how much she had cared for me, and didn’t want us to be enemies.  She also realised that her recent bitchery was just problematic ‘love’ confusion (and its side effects) over me and Suzi, Belinda and Kat, etc.  She had remembered the old times, when I had said that if we ever separated I never wanted us to hate each other.  Apparently, Legs had helped her too.  When Naomi was slagging me off at Nicki’s last week, she had been saying I was a BASTARD.  But Legs said, ‘No, Jez’s outward appearance + views may change, but fundamentally he remains the same…’  I think he’s right to some major degree, but not 100%.


Anyway, I apologised, too, and Jo and I embraced.  I think it showed that we still care.


She is nice, is Naomi.  I know it.  But maybe the edge of menace has helped over the last few occasions.  Mind you, I find it very much easier to be nicer to her than EVER now.  It’s good to know we’re friends.  It’s great.


‘Ant Rap’ – Adam and the Ants


She says she hates Stan, who apparently forced himself into the party with 3 girls Naomi DID NOT invite.  She was dying for him to go home.  HOW WE LAUGHED AT THE FACT THAT HE HAS SKID-MARKS IN HIS PANTS!  AND IS IT REALLY TRUE HE NEVER BUYS BOG ROLL, ALEX?!  SCOGG-URGH!


So who attended Naomi’s ‘video party’?

Ritcherd ‘Jez’ Jon Winterfood, Katrisha ‘Kat’ Hill, Naomi Bell, Stan Flowers Lampwick, Alex Morgan, Willock, Suzi, Leighton Holt, Ben Duffy (who fell asleep), Zig (who was a newcomer to me), and three mystery girls who only stayed for a short while.


The first video was The Party Animal

…but halfway through, I realised I was hungry.  I decided to go to the chippy and asked if anyone else was interested.  They all piled money and orders on me, but only KAT volunteered to come along. 


So off we went, walking around for a while and talking intimately of HORROR FILMS, THE MUNSTERS, etc.  She then interlocked her arm with mine, and I swear, with our amazing hair and excellent clothes, we looked so brilliant, so regal, so powerful together.  And now being a GOTH felt good.  GREAT STUPH!


She looked good; I said so.

I looked good; she said so.

We looked FABULOUS together.


And I still wanted to kiss her.  So much!  But I defended her honour.  Patience is a virtue.


‘Goody Two Shoes’ – Adam Ant


We returned from he chippy to No.52, and watched The Video Dead, which was really good, but not to be taken seriously! 

But during this, Kat and I touched ‘hidden’ hands, arms, legs and breasts in the darkness.


Willock was nice with me and we drank all Stan’s wine.  Then Ady arrived and we piss-pulled from Nyall, Sage and Smith.  Sad they weren’t there.  Then some smelly-Goths hassled the door and stuff for about half an hour, but we wouldn’t let them in, so they pissed off at last.


We then watched a Ouija film called Witchboard. 

Kat and I sat close together for this, whilst Willock drunkenly festered in corner.



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]


Next time: ‘Ouija Board Panic…’

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