The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 21 May 1988

Belinda


10.35am.

REID VILLAS/EX-HEARTSEASE MENTAL HOME (Stan’s place).

 

‘Dark Cell’ – Fields Of The Nephilim



 

Necronogoth Screaming:

RESTING PLACE!’

 

LORD OF SULPHUR

KiLLS The ChRiSTiAN!

 

[COMING SOON:

FLASH’S DRAMATIC RETURN

TO

WISBECH SHOCK!’

– Future Winterfood]

 

ALL ABOUT WINTERFOOD’S BANDS IN 1988:

SUGARBLOOD FORMED (STAN + JEZ).

SUGARBLOOD PERFORM ‘LIVE’

(WITH SOME ORANGE PEOPLE IN THE LINE-UP).

URSULA ‘JOINS’.

MATT JOINS.

URSULA ‘LEAVES’.

VOID INDIGO JOINS.

PIECES OF EIGHT RECORDED.

MATT THROWN OUT.

MERGE WITH MORTAL DEATH.

SUGARBLOOD BECOMES RING OF ROSES.

MERGE DISSOLVED.

MERGE WITH DAN + ASH.

STAN LEAVES.

They all have sweaty bam.

 

 


‘Let’s cack!  Put on your red pants and shit down my throat!’

 

Oh no!  Flayhesh, don’t do me for copyright.  Oh please.  Noooo!

 

Suzi  Suzi…  Suzi…  Ooh, you’re alright, you are.  BUT…  BUT…  Oh Suzi…

 

This isn’t the close soul-mingling love for which I have forever yearned.  This is just… a ‘relationship’, and a bit of an immature one at that.  And my life, as I have constantly stated, revolves more or less solely around the search for that One True Person, the real love. 

 

You are not it.

 

But I know who would be if life were not so cruel.

 

So am I wasting time?  Should I just go out and try and get what I want?

 

NO. ‘LIFE’ WILL HAPPEN – AS IT ALWAYS HAS – AROUND ME.

 

Well, Stan’s about to put some GLJ on.  Erm.  Yes, well…  Ahem.

 

Berwin’s here.  Well, actually two Berwins are here; mine ‘n’ Stan’s.  Russ’s bringing his tonite.  And Sage’ll probably have hers with her.

 

Oh look.  My Berwin’s talking to Stan’s.

 

Berwin:                

heRe i am. 

Hey! 

It’s the fonz! 

LOOK ARt –

Here i am! 

I is a Syewper heRo –

Berwin Man!

 

Stan’s Berwin:    

FUCK Yaw Matey coz

The evil berwin is here

to kill yeaww!

 

Christ.  My Berwin’s just cacked on my dinner and run away!  FUCKING HECK!

 

Natalia, do we just sit back and let life happen?  What do you really want?  Do we want the same?  I think the answer is perhaps ‘yes’!  I would never force you into anything remotely ‘against’ Mark, though.  It’s not fair.  Well…  I dunno.  I’ll shut up.  But the thought of Europe, away from you…  IT IS YOU I shall miss most of all.  What will we achieve between now and when I leave in August?  I dare not predict.  But I shall miss you so much.  So beautifully shall I remember these ‘early’ days (I hope these are the ‘early’ days of our Love!  No, of course they are.  These ARE the early days.).  I love you oh-so much.  It’s quite sad, too.  I’ve never felt so much love, admiration, and respect.  I need to see you soon.  I can’t wait to read your letter.  You make me so vulnerable and tender.  I want to kiss you.  Just one kiss, if that’s how it must be.  I want you to feel that I love you.  It’s good.

 

Later:

 

‘O England, My Lionheart’ – Kate Bush



 

I got to NRWCH yesterday and met up with Suzi and Elf.  In The Bell (YAK!), Elf’s mates were started on by some Casuals.

 

As they all went to see The Sugar Cubes, I went to the Fez, where I met up with Stan.  He and Belinda had apparently finished, due to his lack of self-discipline, laziness and total disrespect and disregard for the home environment.

 

I sat, drank and finally talked to Alison, the Goth I’ve fancied for ages.  She’s still gorgeous.  I also talked to Stan’s new band members (they’re called DC Filthlovers and they’re playing live in late May 1988, alongside Gag Reflex, supporting THE FUZZ; tickets available from Backs Records), a guy called Kevin, and a girl called Kelly (who went on about Suzi being plastic until I put her straight).

 

Then Sage turned up to meet Stan.  I chatted to her.  Vaguely.  Then we all met Suzi from the Train Station.  She looked a bit pissed off. 

 

In my head I was saying, ‘SUZI, REMEMBER WHEN I SAID, “DON’T GO TO THE SUGAR CUBES, IT’LL BE SHIT…”’

 

‘How was it?’ I asked.

‘It was shit,’ she told me.

 

Suzi and I kissed a little, then I found myself arm-in-arm with Sage for a while, and Stan was arm-in-arm with Suzi.  We all went and sat by the side of the road, chatting.  Eventually, though, Sage said farewell to us all, kissing Stan and me.

 

The three of us then clambered up some grass hill and down the other side as a short cut to Stan’s place.

 

Later:

 

‘Black Flowers Please’ – Current 93



 

Last nite/this morning, Stan, Suzi ‘n’ me got back to Stan’s, where Stan and Belinda argued and it was decided that Stan would be moving into the spare room for a while.  During this period he would have to look for a new place and leave this place to her.

 

Suzi and I ‘slept’ on the living room floor and made love.  It was great, but following this, when I tried to sleep, she wouldn’t let me.  Kept me wake – talking.  I was really annoyed and exhausted.

 

This morning, things fell to bits with Suzi and I, when she decided she was going off to meet some blokes she’d met at The Sugar Cubes gig.  I didn’t want to go with her, obviously.  There was some ‘attraction’ innuendo in what she was saying about them, so I let her go off herself.  I was annoyed that she wanted to be with them rather than me.  It’s not like I can do anything about it, or tell her what to do, is it?  I told her I’d see her at TESCO’s at 5pm.  Was I wrong to respond in this way?  She was so distant with me, and I really didn’t want to go.  If I was going to spend any time with her, then I wanted us to be alone.

 

When Belinda went out, Stan and I went to the STUDIO CAFÉ to get some dope from Jason Hertford.  In there, we sat with Harry and me old Punk mate Lee, who’s great.

 

In NORWICH, I bought the ‘Happy Birthday Pigface Christus’ 12-inch by Current 93, who appear to have some sort of connection with Death In June.


 

Anyway, Lee, Stan and I got recklessly pissed in Norwich.  There, I saw Suzi, but she wouldn’t pass the time of day with me.  So I began to think, ‘ARE WE ACTUALLY GOING OUT WITH EACH OTHER, OR WHAT?’

 

We then went down to the park with Lindsey, Tom, Alex, Jim, Jenny, etc. 

 

It was good to ignore Nyall ‘n’ all.  Oh, Stan’s new band did their first gig alongside the (supposedly) crap new incarnation of FRANK BACON.

 

Then, as Stan set off back to the house on his own, Lee and I set off to find Suzi and Belinda.  When I finally saw Suzi again, there she was with Elf and two males.  I asked her if she was coming home with us.  No, she said.  But she said she’d be back later.  I smiled, but I was thinking, ‘Well this IS love, much.  Chuff off, Suzi!’

 

Lee and I met up with Belinda and went back to Belinda’s place for her ‘Farewell To Stan’ party.  As the other arrivals turned up, most of them piled into Stan’s room.  Belinda seemed really pissed off, so I sat in her room and chatted with her.  I felt really sorry for the way Stan had been treating her.  She was nice.

 

Then I began to drink more.  Belinda and I worked our way through Lager, Malibu + Coke, Bitter, Vodka + Orange, and Concorde.

 

‘Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go?’ – Soft Cell



 

Who came to the party?

Well, Suzi eventually turned up, but there was also (most prominently) Diana, Sage Edenkind, Leighton Holt, Naomi Bell, Alex Morgan, Sally, Russell Flowers, Julie, Jason Hertford, Harry, Lucy, and tonnes more.  It was like a Who’s Who of the Norwich ‘Goth’ ‘Scene’ over the last year.  The only person missing was Flash!  The place was packed.  And there was plenty of booze, dope + Liquid Gold.

 

I sat on Belinda’s bed (with tonnes of others), talking to Belinda.  Suzi sat on the floor, staring and scowling at me.  I was so fucked out of my head that I started being a sarcastic bitch to her.  She responded by getting steadily pissed + stoned. 

 

Sage kissed me and told me I was brilliant.  We ‘got off’ with each other.

 

Then Belinda put her arm around me.

 

Apparently, Suzi started singing along to Soft Cell’s ‘Where Did Our Love Go?’ at me.  I didn’t know this at the time, but someone told me later.  I think she must have stopped by the time Leighton sat next to her and started chatting her up.

 

They left the room together, but a short time later Leighton came back and told me she was all over him.  Surreally, he asked me if he could ‘get off’ with her.  I – what a git! – said ‘yes!’

 

So he did, and shortly afterwards, they disappeared.

 

Belinda then kissed me and we ‘got off’ with each other.  The party went on…

 

Soon, Leighton returned, asking if anyone had any condoms.  I looked all over the place for some (!), but there were none to be found. 

I said, ‘That’s okay, she’s on the pill.’

‘Is she?’ he asked, excitedly.  He then rushed down to his Beetle, where she was clearly semi-conscious over the dashboard.  They spoke for a minute or so.  To my horror, he then returned and said to me, ‘She’s not.’

 

I shat myself, there and then.

 

I went down to the car, where Suzi was clearly out of her head.  I asked her if she was on the pill.  She said, ‘No, I’m not on the pill.  Why?’

 

Angrily, I slammed the car door on her + helped Leighton pack her bags into the car.  He then drove her off.  And he was still gonna have sex with her.  He wasn’t fussed.

 




 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Strange days…’

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