So.We thought bollox to the 794 to NOO-RETCH.And came home.
So.Here we are.VERY PISSED OFF and getting ready AGAIN for the 3.40pm bus to NOO-RETCH,
which we’d better get.An’ we hope the
rain eases off or we’ll look crap tonite when we go out.
Stan got one Vally’s card.I bet I
ain’t got none.
So.Where are we off tonite, you all cree?
NICKI’s pahtey, we suppose.
afore that, we off to the UEA to see
The MISSION.Ironic, in a way, that I bought my ticket
from Leighton (via Justine).Yo-ho-ho!
a shit day so far…
got to get good.I mean, STAN was hoping
to ‘pull’ NICKI.I think.And hopefully have a good time at the pahtey
as it’s going to be ST VALENTINE’S DAY by the time the gig is o’er, I’d like to
meet a nice female ‘Gothic’ type and… well, to put it plainly, have lots of sex
and then hopefully move onto higher things…
Brother’ – The Mission
Hah!This brings back memories.365 days ago, or so.Yo-ho!What a nice pahtey THAT was.Dancing to ‘Blood Brother’.Yo-Ho!
for sex, anyway…
Alice who used to go in The Bell is my ambition.But that would be impossible, so scrub
that.But a nice, black-haired,
dark-eyed, backcombed Rose McDowall will
Yo!This is so much like last New Year’s
I’D LIKE, by Jez De Carlo
really gorgeous Rose McD lookers to invite us to their shared flat for a lot of
sex (as opposed to NICKI’s pahtey).
god.Help us.Ease the rain off.Let us get what we want.God know, it would be the first time
(ahem!).Help us, please.We need a laugh for a change (Help!).
have a nice time…
will it go?
A bit later.
‘Another One Bites The Dust (Purple Haze Mix)’
– The Batfish Boys
golly me.Stan’s gone to wesh up.I’d best help him, I suppose…
hair’s up again.
though, with all my faith directed at those forces that control my life and
destiny – my Gods, my divine leaders – realise for me – your pawn, as your
Player in the Game – the faith I need in 1988.Guide me and rescue me from the things I dislike.I know it’s petty to ask for this, but it
saves my mind.Please direct me to
happiness.Let me be impressed with
today and every day.Please.Please.Please.Please.Understand me.
Well.MISSION tonite. And hopefully a good time afterwards.
pahtey on Wednesday.
Flash’s on Friday (till Sunday) – in a black limousine from the funeral
director’s.With Ursula, I hope…
– The Mission
Anastasia recently showed me some photos of FRANCESCA CROOK during her last day in
England.Erm.Brought back some of the pain.Sad.NOV 13th.Sad.
WRITE TO HER SOON!
put a new design on the back of my leather jacket.Another variation on ‘Death In June’.
DON’T LIKE FEELING UNEASY…
On Glass’ – The Mission
STAN VINCENZO WRITES:
‘Jez hates ‘Dance On Glass’ …
FUCK!I’m wet and bored.BOLLOX…
If tonite ain’t good, I’m gonna trash meself in.
LOTS O’ SEX.
A GOOD GIG.
TO CALL WAYNE PUSSY AN EGO’D TWAT.
FOR JEZ AND ME TO BE ENIGMATIC.
TO GET FUCKIN’ WRECKED!’
I bet we miss the fuckin’ bus at 3.30pm.
“I WOULDN’T fucking DARE”
Shut up, Berwin!
I’VE GONE MAD!
Love, Stan xxx’
Jack That House Built’ – Jack ‘n’ Chill
Oh-hum.Weren’t Stan a larf, eh?eh?
hope we have a good time.It’s still
dead windy downstairs.
think Stan ‘n’ his mum are giving each other a bit o’ jyp.I’m not sure, but I bet it’ll be my fault.
CAN IT BE?
A bit later…
– Gene Loves Jezebel
‘n’ me just made some Vally’s cards to give to any nice girls we may see at the
off for a shit.Ciao!
A bit later…
‘n’ me are ready again.I’m looking, in
my opinion, the best I’ve ever looked.‘S good.
Crush’ – Foetus
breakdancing Goth.It hurts your head,
Much, much later…
Is Something In My House’ – Dead Or Alive
last spoke to you as we were just about ready to leave.Well, at last, we got the bus to Norwich, and
we didn’t get wet.And who got on at
King’s Lynn?Libby.Memories (UGH!) of
other MISSION gigs, methought and was deliberately enigmatic
towards her.Which pleased me.
got off the bus and, well, nuts to all my old, ancient philosophy, because I
trod the floor of MacDonalds, where
we served by ‘spooky’ girl Alice, with
whom we had a little chat.As Stan ‘n’
me sat, I admired this girl from afar.She
is an absolutely gore-juice (in my opinion) gurl.Orgasms.
trip to the Off License and then a trip to The
Festival House, where Stan nearly left behind his tape recorder.Ho-Ho-Ho!How I laughed, till my willy fell off.Yo-Ho-Ho!
then got a taxi to the fabled UNIVERSITY OF EAST ANGLIA and its remazing Lower Common Room.Then the fun began…
place was absolutely packed out.And
there were tonnes of familiar faces there, e.g. Sage Edenkind, Fiz, Belinda, Sally, Libby, Jason Hertford,
Nicki and her mate Joolz and tons more.We decided the bar was the place to be, where
we had lots of lager.
should mention that, at one point, I gave a gurl with really big black hair my homemade
Vally’s card (thru’ Stan).
wonder of all wonders, we discovered who our support band was to be.It had seemed obvious by the end of last week
that it wasn’t going to be Red Lorry
Yellow Lorry, and it turned out to be SALVATION,
which pleased me immensely as I had been dying to hear their stuff.And they were good.I particularly liked ‘Jessica’s Crime’.
heckled Danny (the singer),
shouting: ‘Show us yer dick!’
replied: ‘The amount of times you’ve seen my dick.Dad.’
cracked up.I could really identify with
them, especially as Danny’s speaking voice was just like my own Dad’s!
Salvation had finished, one of the guys running the UEA event decided to make
himself unpopular by announcing that the Police had been called by some
conspicuously anonymous member of the public, who had announced that a bomb had
been planted in the building.No one
believed it, of course (someone jokingly suggested that the anonymous caller
was Andrew Eldritch!Yo-Ho-Ho!), but we all had to evacuate in an
orderly fashion so the area could be inspected.But in the ensuing crush, I lost all sight and sound of Stan, ‘n’ that
for some LED ZEP now, I think…
bugger.Here’s The Mission.Obviously.
The Hills And Far Away’ – The Mission
back inside, I went to the bar, whilst the amphitheatre packed itself with
to some Ennio Morricone Western
riff, THE MISSION came on.I was nowhere
near them, and could only see the tops of their heads.When I finally caught sight of Wayne Hussey I felt very fucked off coz
he’d done nothing new with his image and was wearing the usual shit.
drank a few more pints of lager, enjoying old tracks such as ‘Crystal Ocean’ and ‘Wasteland’ and new material like ‘Heat’, ‘Kingdom Come’, ‘Beyond The
Pale’ and ‘Child’s Play’.Then I decided to see if I could worm my way
into the crush down near the stage.I
got into the centre of crush, but didn’t make it to the front.Whilst there, I realised I was probably going
to collapse, so came back out and made my way to the back of the Common
Room.Here, I ‘collapsed’ and watched
the world go by.Then Stan turned up,
from his own previous experiences, and, he too, collapsed.
a while, and once we’d sorted ourselves out, we had a few more pints and joined
NICKI at the quieter, less busy side of the stage and watched The MISSION
pretty much from behind.I was
particularly chuffed when they played ‘Tower
the gig ended, I got chatting to two nice gurlies from Newcastle: Crackle and Rae.We were in a really big
‘crush’ of people, trying to get backstage and meet the band.I was particularly turned on when I was
squashed up against sexy, blonde Crackle and she sat straddling my thigh,
wriggling a lot…
for some LED ZEP, I hope…)
Battle Of Evermore’ – Led Zeppelin
the UEA blokes forced us out of the building, and as hordes of people cleared
off home, Stan and I stood about waiting for NICKI (as we were supposed to be
staying at her place).We, and two of Sage’s
mates, presumed she’d gotten back stage.
I wandered around for a bit, until I found a room with about 15 people in it –
including Sage and Nicki.So,
‘accidentally stumbling in’ – and assuming those present were waiting to catch
a glimpse of THE MISSION – I went over to Sage and told her that her mates were
waiting for her, just outside.Sage told
me to bring them in.I said ‘okay’, and
as I turned to leave I spied out of the corner of my eye, ex-SISTER OF MERCY (now with THE MISSION),
so, at that fateful moment began the historic episode in which Jez became known
as ‘Cat O’ Nine Tails’ and met THE MISSION.I’ll tell you what happened soon.It gets really good.
there I was, at the University Of East Anglia, dragging Stan (and others) into
this room where THE MISSION were chatting to their fans.
Hussey was absolutely surrounded by girls, whilst Craig Adams and Mick Brown were with our
‘acquaintance’, Willock, who was
being a pillock and acting like a fan.I
sat and joined them, and Stan came over, too.After about 10 minutes, Willock left, so it was just me, Stan, Mick and
Craig, talking about Craig’s hair and its recent chewing gum exploits.We then got onto the subject of Yorkshire, discussing Castleford, Leeds and Haworth.Mick had lived in these places, which then
got us talking about his time as one of The Lorries.After about half an hour, I inevitably asked
them to sign the polystyrene cup I’d been drinking from, which they kindly did.
‘To Jez (Ritcherd) from Ponti, Donni,
Wakey and Cas, Love Mick Brown, Mish X’
he drew a couple of drumsticks and a picture of Wayne Hussey (‘Our glorious
he let the ‘s’ at the end of ‘Adams’ tail off into several whip-like fronds.
then decided to go over and get Wayne’s autograph.He seemed very busy with all these girls, and
I didn’t really think I’d get the chance to talk to him.As it turned out, he was happy to sign the
cup, but he was quite a cold character and I didn’t like him all that
much.The others had seemed really down
to earth, but not him.I mean…Oh, he was amiable enough, I suppose, but I
guess I just wasn’t interesting enough for him when he was surrounded by so
many dribbling gurls (including Crackle, Rae, Sage and Nicki).Fair enough.
‘To Jez (Ritcherd), love Wayne XX’
Of Noon’ – David Sylvian
I started looking for my favourite member of The Mish, the star that shines
through the machine smoke, Simon Hinkler.He was on his own, so I went and chatted to
him and he was a raight nice bloke.He
signed my cup, but had to hurry off and do something, somewhere.
Simon gone, I went back over to Mick who shared a bottle of Blue Nun with me while we talked about
The Sisters, gigs, Yorkshire, the price of success, The Lorries, girls called Jenny (Hi, JT!), sex, pubs, Castleford,
and why The Mish lads (not Wayne) had opted for a more ‘greasy’ image (for
which, I don’t blame them!).
Simon came back he also signed my cup:
‘To JEZ (Elton), love Simon Hinkler
THE BELT ‘N’ HINKLER.
in attempt to get The Mish to sign my favourite battered, brown leather belt, I
had Simon telling me that he really liked it and wanted me to sell it to him.After a small bartering process, I sold it to
him for a fiver.I would have given him
it, but I love that belt and will need to replace it, somehow.I made him promise to wear it ALWAHZE, and he
said he would.He’d better do.
but it was ace sharing his Baileys
with him and comparing the ginger bits in our beards.
the main crowd of fans drifted off, Stan and I spent the rest of the nite
chatting cosily with Mick ‘n’ Simon (the best ‘uns), and I enjoyed the
intelligent conversation.Meanwhile, Nicki
‘got off’ with Wayne, as he played us the band’s new EP (due out in April) on
Stan’s tape recorder.
– David Sylvian
the nite drew to an end and we were leaving, Craig Adams was dashing about with
a silly flying hat on.He re-christened
me CAT O’ NINE TAILS (due to the tassel belt I wear).I also had a brief chat with Choque from Salvation about their
stuff, and he said we should have a drink after their gig at the Astoria in London.I said I’d be happy
to, but don’t imagine I’ll be able to go.
was time to go, and I’d been hoping, of course, to ‘get off’ with Crackle, but,
alas, it was not to be.So Stan, Joolz
and I stayed at Nicki’s place, which was very ‘down’ ‘n’ cold.
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of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’section
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Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen
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