The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Friday, 26 February 1988

Beyond the Dream of Jasmine


12.40am.

 

Oh well.  I’ll dream of The MISSION.

 

Goodnite.

 

Later:

 

‘Deiche’ – Sex Gang Children



 

Today I got to Tech and I didn’t speak to Justine.  I just couldn’t.  No feeling in me wanted to.  It wasn’t hate or anything like that.  Just complete verbal apathy.

 

So I didn’t speak to JUSTINE BLACK.  An icy silence has developed.

 

I spent most of the day with Astra Trellis and had my hair thinned OUT!!! 

 

I also bought ‘Tower Of Strength (Bombay Mix)’ 12-inch by The Mission.


 

Later:

 

‘Flesh me out in the songs of Heaven…’

 

Today developed into Stan and me practicing ‘Badlands’ (which was just totally shit), and a new song of mine called ‘Beyond The Dream Of Jasmine’ (which came along really well).

 

Just the palest smile of suicide,

Just the faintest sound of suicide

Is keeping me alive.

 

Jasmine, why do you hate me now?

Was it the ‘blood runs thicker than water’?

Was it more than your mind or your body would allow?

 

Jasmine, don’t let your head bow down,

Is this the Tired Year Of Sorrow?

Or is it me, and my neglect, the love we never found?

 

Gunshot, forewarning

Gunshot, forewarning (in my mind)

 

Dream of Jasmine

Dream of Jasmine

 

Jasmine, do you still hate me now?

Is it the blood run thicker than water?

Is it more than your time or money will allow?

 

Jasmine, oh, Jasmine

Jasmine, oh, Jasmine

 

Jasmine, you could do it now if you had the time.

But if you hand me the gun, I’ll shrink away –

Oh, if you’d only let me stay, I could live with this!

 

Oh Jasmine!

 

Just the faintest click of suicide,

Just the ice-wet cold of suicide,

Just the goddamned fear of suicide

Keeping me alive.

 




 

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Next time: ‘Sugarblood days…’

 

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