‘Fanfare for the Common Man’ – Aaron Copland
Work was shit!
A letter from Gill Munden! A chit-chat and I’m to write back! Jolly!
She wrote just after she’d eaten prawn sarnies with LOTS of mayo. Apparently she wrote me another letter first, but felt too embarrassed to send it because she ‘got a bit carried away with [her] feelings’ and it sounded like ‘a conversation between a suicide victim and the bloody Samaritans’.
‘I hope you don’t expect this letter to be as ‘witty’ and full of ‘jolly japes’ as yours because it’s just too much hass … man!’
She also says I can pour out any worries I have.
‘Because you seemed pretty down at the ole ‘rave-up’ t’other night!’
She asks me if I really like Holly Blue, or was I just missing Naomi perhaps? She thinks I should stay in touch with Naomi as she seems to think a lot of me (I’ve shown Gillian the letters I’ve had) and I shouldn’t worry about stuff.
She also hopes I’ll be able to get into King’s Lynn when she goes and stays with Roger, so we can have a ‘chinwag’. She can’t believe she + Roger are so close now, when all that time ago she was so worried that he wouldn’t go out with her and moaned at me about it all the time.
‘Can you remember when I first came over to you that morning, when you were own, and just started talking to you? You must have thought I was mentally deranged or something!’
She says Roger told her I ‘slept’ round Sonia’s after the Tech party and calls me a ‘dirty little bugger’. She asks me if I get on with her again now.
‘Stupid question if you ‘slept’ round there, isn’t it, really? What’s her flat like? Does she live on her own? Did you enjoy your little ‘sejour’ round there then? Tell me everything!’
Apparently Roger got pissed again on the last day of term. There wasn’t a ‘do’ in the Common Room this time, though, so they all went down The Spread Eagle. ‘Lucky sods,’ she says, as she has to work (or rather ‘slave away’) in the (‘antiseptic-smelling, gory, hospital waiting room-like’) dentists on Raymond Street in Thetford.
She encloses a business card from the dentist’s with this written on the back:
‘I think you need a bloody appointment because your teeth are as black as the moles on a “certain person’s” face! So there!’
The ‘certain person’ is Sonia…
She says she’s missing everyone from college ‘badly’. It’s horrible, she says, because she hasn’t really got any friends in Thetford and all the ‘Goths’ are about 15 years old and she hates them. Her best friend has deserted her, she reckons, for a life of ‘prostitution (or thereabouts, the rate she carries on!)’. Woe is she!
‘Perhaps I should turn to the big “R” – Religion, for some guidance and support and have “God” as my special friend! (ha bloody ha!)’
She asks me what I’ll do if I don’t return to college next year.
‘You’re not going to become an ‘employed citizen’ like ‘moi’, are you? Bloody hell! What is the world coming to?!’
She signs off by asking me to ‘tell her absolutely everything + anything … tell me all your worries, and CHEER UP…’ and leaving me three kisses.
Rang Solomon. He wasn’t in. I might just pop in and see George on Saturday, as I can’t stay at his place…
COMPLETED: Two Bummers mixes: ‘Making Sense’ and ‘Yes, I’d Like To’.
See you later!
Your letter was damn jolly-well unexpected and damn jolly-well nice…
(QUESTION: Where did you get my address?)
Well. At the mo’ I’m working at Mum’s boyfriend’s lorry yard. Hard and boring. So your letter was very welcome. I need lots of letters to take me out of this boredom. I am working till August 27, and then I’m off to stay at Flash’s in Yorks. Then we’re (me + Flash) off to Blackpool for our holz.
WOW! I’m really glad you wrote…
HOLLY? – When I did her hair and she put her make-up on and wore that skirt, I decided she was really nice. But I know Holly and me are not to be. I’m not obsessive about her or anything. It was just a mild notion I had. Reinforced by a lot of alcohol. I suppose I can safely say she is a really good friend. I suppose I can also say ‘I fancy her’, but that’s all. I leave it at that!
NAOMI (orgasms, wow, cor, etc!)
Much dribbling and dripping.
‘NAOMI is THE GURLIE 4 RITCHERDeCARLO . I’M SURE OF IT,’ said God!
THE HISTORY OF ME AND Naomi Bell
I met Naomi on a trip to Norwich.
No. I’ll carry on.
At the time, I was going out with NICKI. Did you ever hear about her?
Anyhow, me and some pals (i.e. Simon, Pot Noodle and, well, no one else that’s a friend, but Keith + Plastic N(D)ick were there, too!) got pissed in Norwich. Loads of girls chatted to us. One of them was Naomi. She was well pissed (and was going out with Alex, also! AAH!). We got off with each other and felt v. guilty, but still, we swapped addresses and wrote to each other a lot. We became good, nay, best friends and I fell for her, totally! By now I’d finished NICKI, or rather vice versa). She told me that if I lived in Norwich + Alex had never existed, then we would almost definitely be going out with each other. We were perfectly compatible in every sense. So I, like a berk, wrote to her and told her I need her. Naomi loved my attention, as Alex wasn’t giving her much, and so they finished with each other. For about half a week.
At this time, Naomi told me of her forthcoming Birthday party (on 24th July – v. soon!). I was invited, but then she got back with Alex, and, so as to avoid any hass, she asked me not to go.
After my birthday, I unexpectedly went to THE BELL in Norwich. She saw me in there, but she was with Alex, so she kept running from one room to another to see me.
I sent her a photo. She fell in love with it (so did her friend!) But when I got really HEAVY over her, she suggested the best thing I could do was find a girlfriend. But even then she said she’d get jealous. She continually maintained that she did love me, but was not IN love with me. But whenever she needed attention, a lot of love or just a chat, she always thought of me.
ALAS, last Saturday, Alex finished with her for another girl. Naomi loved him like hell! She’s in pieces and I want to help her get through all this, so I’m going to Norwich on Saturday. She doesn’t know yet, so I’ll have to ring her. I’ll probably go there with Solomon, Simon and Nigel. If you want, one weekend this hol, all US lot could get together ‘n’ go to Norwich for a ‘rave-up’ (i.e. Me, You, Roger, Solomon, Holly, Luggage + Holly 2, Simon + Nigel.) Yeah?
Yes, I was depressed at the disco. I really needed Naomi. You were all paired off and I wasn’t, for once!
Yes! I can be in K.L. any time you want (as long as you give me warning!).
THE ‘SON’IA ‘ESCAP(E)’ADE
I stayed with her not out of lust but desperation.
At first, when you all kept telling me to ‘get off’ with her, I considered it, I must admit (PISSED)! But when it was time to go home, I found I didn’t have enough money to get back to Roger’s! So I asked Sonia. We didn’t do anything. NO THANK YOU!
I am alone with letters of Naomi, records and Horror films. It is a beautiful time.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Next time: ‘More hilarious japes…’