The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Friday, 11 December 1987

The Christmas Break-Up

Friday 11th December


‘Big Rock Candy Mountain’ – Motorcycle Boy

the Jez


My hair was tied back today, as ever.  Better today, but still not very good.  I look like a clown with this big red nose and I could do with a shave…


I went to catch my bus, and as I stepped on, the bloody driver explained that she couldn’t let me on without my college pass (which they never usually check and I therefore never usually bring).  So I quickly asked my English Lit teacher (who travels in on our bus) if he would lend me 50p so I would be able to catch the service bus.  He gave me a quid and I caught the 8.05am to King’s Lynn.


On the bus, I saw another pass-less exile from the college bus called Debs.  We chatted all the way to Lynn.


In Lynn, I bumped into Nyall, who is well cool.  But I won’t flatter him.  He’d revel ‘n’ roll in it if I did.  So we went down to Tech, passing loads of my mates on the way, such as Sarah, Anastasia, Amelia Dalle, Amanda, Jenny Taylor, Lush and so on.  It seems all the students were heading down town to get pissed…


‘Can’t Take No More’ – The Soup Dragons


Tech was dead.  The only people Nyall and I saw were Blondie, Tracey and Danny, who were all sitting around and waiting for Graham ‘n’ Mary.  I said hello, but little else, and after loads of lecturers tried to force us to go and study in the Library, Nyall and I went into King’s Lynn.  There, Nyall went to buy various Christmas presents for various members of his family. 


‘Letter From America’ – The Proclaimers


Luggage turned up and we trotted along being a little bored and fed up, because, like, this was the last day and fuck all was happening.  But then we sort of met up with Sarah, Amanda, Hamster, Jenny Taylor and some others who were all pretty well pissed on lots of wine.  Nyall and I indulged.  Then some boys we don’t know came and talked to us all (after the girls, I reckon) and passed around more drink.  Thus, we all went down to The Spread Eagle pub where I got willied on other people’s booze.  I was so drunk, I found myself really enjoying The Proclaimers‘Letter From America’ and Whitney Houston’s ‘So Emotional’ on the jukebox.


Nyall sat and slagged Dave Brown off to his face, but so subtly that Dave didn’t even realise it.


‘So Emotional’ – Whitney Houston


I chatted a lot with Mary, who had managed to get away from Danny – who I really like – and I explained to her that, since Justine, I had really got to know loads of girls, but none of whom I’d really, totally and utterly consider going out with.  Not that I’d really worked out why!  She kept asking me if she’d better try an’ forget it.  I simply told her that I wasn’t sure what she should do, other than staying with Danny and trying to see how it’d work out.  I told her we could still be friends.  She searched my mind to see if there was anything between us, but all I could tell her was that the feelings I have for her are just amazingly ‘friendly’ ones.  Feelings I possess for lots of other girls.  Some more than others, I suppose.  She seemed mostly worried that I wouldn’t speak to her again after this.  I told her I would.  Then Danny came out to find her and I went back in.


‘Mr Brownstone’ – Guns ‘n’ Roses


Inside the pub, I spoke briefly to Holly Blue, Blondie and others.  Then, I had a groovy, cool, throbbing, thrusting, flashing, dashing, groove-chat with Amelia, Lush and Anastasia.  Anastasia and Lush gave me Christmas cards, and we should all be off out on Thursday.  They want to come and stay in the building site caravan afterwards!


‘Satellite’ – The Hooters


Then Roger and Suz arrived, and we all seemed to get on pretty well, which was a surprise. 


But, in the end, I returned my attention to Amelia Dalle.  She said she’ll write to me in the holidays.  As did Lush ‘n’ Anastasia.  But, y’know… Amelia’s really cool ‘n’ groovy ‘n’ swingswingbabbergroove.  I can’t wait for her to write.


Alas, at 12pm, all the students – except those with money for service buses or lifts – had to go home on their Tech buses.  So I said farewell to loads of mates, and Mary gave me a big kiss in front of everybody, which, for some reason (probably Danny!), felt really embarrassing.  And so… all my mates went.  Except for Sarah, Jo Wedonska ‘n’ loads more, who I went and sat with.


‘I Second That Emotion’ – Japan


Then Mary came back!  We had a quick chat outside and she kissed me again – just as Graham (Danny’s best mate!) came out!  Then off she went.  To catch her bus to a T’Pau concert that she doesn’t even wanna go to.  Emma bought her a ticket, so…


Graham, who was well cacked in the head with drink, had a little go at me, but we resolved it.


‘Let’s Spend The Night Together (live)’ – David Bowie


I went back in and sat with Sarah George and told her what I’ve wanted to tell her for ages.  This developed into a long and beautiful conversation.  I sort of told her that I didn’t want to sound too heavy, but she means a real lot to me, and my feelings for her run very deep.  And I hope she has a beautiful life after the end of our Tech year.  She returned the compliments, and as we chatted + drank lots, it seemed our feelings for each other ran deeper and deeper and deeper than we’d ever imagined.  We talked over the past: how I’d ‘fancied’ her when we first arrived at tech, her intermediacy between Jenny Taylor ‘n’ I, our occasional bitchiness towards each other, and the hidden feelings we’d had for each other that were only now beginning to surface.  And we’re both glad these feelings have now been revealed.  I told her that if this was still 1986, I’d probably have asked her out after such a conversation.  But now, my feelings seem too mature to do that.  She totally understood.


‘Suffragette City (live)’ – David Bowie


Eventually, Sarah, Jo Wedonska, Graham and me went into Lynn to meet Derek (Sarah’s boyfriend from TS1).  When he arrived, we went to (UGH!) MacDonalds.  Then we all met up with Tracey and Blondie, before I eventually caught my bus and came back to Wisbech, feeling very good.  Dan Bacon gave me a lift from Wisbech to Wisbech St Mary, which was really ‘RUDOLPH HESS’ of him.


At home, I packed my gear ‘n’ togs and found I had a letter, which I also packed.  Then, I got in the car with my folks, and two hours later I was in Castleford, knocking on Flash’s door.  Flash answered and was well surprised – he’d forgotten I was kamming!  This was mainly due to my uncertainty when we last spoke.  What was HACE was that it was his mam’s house-warming party, and the place was full of guests, including: my Dad, Annie, Rob, John, Dee and mine ‘n’ your friend Eddie Moses!  HAIRSE!

We all chatted, got silly, got willied, ate, mingled, etc.  We even had a diary sesh and Eddie listened in and offered observations.  But in retrospect, I feel sorry for Eddie, cos I pushed him out of the way.  We neglected him and I feel guilty.  Soz, Eddie.  But on a trip to Lola’s chippy, how Eddie and I laughed as this random lass cracked Flash one in the gob for no apparent reason.



[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]


Next time: ‘Brown Book…’

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