The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Thursday, 10 December 1987

Being Cold


5.30pm.

Burger Me…

 

‘Last Christmas’ – Wham!



 

What a day.  Amazing.

 

Later:

11pm.

 

‘Being Boiled’ – The Human League


 

What a fecking day…

 

I WANT LOTS OF CLOTHES!

 

I WILL ALSO JOIN THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE FUCKING POLL TAX!  CONSERVATIVE BASTARDS!

 

Anyhow…

BACK TO TODAY…

 

WOW!  I’m well fucking pissed.  Christmas ‘n’ all that.  It’s hard to think.  I’ve just had some chips and they were HACE.

 

The day started off pretty unassuming.  I had my hair tied back.  I felt – and still feel – really Christmassy.  Neither Roger nor Suz turned up.  I chatted with Mary, Justine and others for a while.  Mary ripped up her ticket for today’s Canterbury Tales, as I am no longer in it. 

 

‘Body Electric’ – The Sisters Of Mercy



 

I spent a lot of the morning with Graham and Danny.  Graham was well buggin’ me.  Just totally on my wick.  So I had him on that Mary fancies him and wants to go out with him.  He took it in and fell for it.  Eventually, we bumped into Blondie and her friends Tracey, Carrie ‘n’ Stevie, who had loads of whiskey and vodka.  She wanted me to go with them and loads of mates so as to get willied.  So I did.

 

Graham ‘n’ Danny went off (so I took them back to the shop where I bought them and moaned about their respective ‘Sell By’ dates!  HAR-HAR!).  So Blondie and I – holding hands, carerssing, etc – went to get some lager.  I got pissed and soon we were well gone.


Tracey started to drool ‘n’ agonise over me, so I told her it could never be. 

She said, ‘Why’d you get off with me, then?’

I avoided answering. 

 

It sounds awful, and I think she’s a lovely girl, but she’s really not my type.  I just don’t find her sexy and I really need to find a girlfriend sexy.  Is that a bad thing?  I hope not.  I got off with her because she was so interested in me and I thought it would make her happy.  That’s so patronising, isn’t it?  Well, it’s not like I didn’t regret it as soon as it happened.  Blondie took me aside and asked me about it.  I told her it was cos I was pissed.  Then Blondie went and told her!  So it probably came out all wrong + horribly misinterpreted.  Tracey started to cry a lot about me.  Blondie talked to her.

 

‘The House Is Haunted’ – Marc Almond



 

Soon, Blondie and I went to an empty corridor and nearly got off with each other.  She told me she likes me a lot, but wasn’t sure if we should go any further.  Cos of Roger.  She asked me to meet her in the morning, without Roger if I could. 

I said, ‘Okay.’

 

Then Graham came along.  He was dead angry.  Cos Mary had told Danny to get him out of her way, cos he was buggin’ her.  Therefore, Graham was rightly dischuffed with me for telling him she liked him.  He was just so fucked off.  The real crunch came a little afterwards when Graham came back and revealed that he’d just seen Mary ‘n’ Danny holding hands.  They are now ‘going out’ together!

 

Graham decided he wanted to start two fights: one with Danny and one with me. 

 

‘ULP!!!’

 

Y’do much!!!

 

So Graham and I had a bit of a faight.  Nothing really violent, but it came close.  I think he hates my guts now…

 

‘The Lebanon’ – The Human League



 

As all ‘n’ sundry went, only me ‘n’ Mary were left, and the poor girl was as confused as hell!  She said she was stupid to have asked Danny out.  I asked why, and she said, ‘Well, to tell you the truth, it was because I fancied you and we weren’t getting anywhere, so I had to latch on to someone close.’  Then she kept asking me what she should do.  I didn’t know.  I was drunk and could barely talk.  And it wasn’t just the alcohol that had got my tongue.  She’d come straight out with it and I was well surprised.  She kept saying things like, ‘I’m embarrassing you, aren’t I?  Do you want me to just piss off?’ 

I said no.

She walked me to my bus and said again, ‘What should I do?’

I said, ‘I dunno.  I’ll think about it.’  Then I gave her a peck on the cheek.

‘You will?’ she asked.

‘Yeah,’ I said.

She returned the peck.

 

But I think we’d just be better as friends, folks, cos we have a laugh, and love always breaks down.

 

My No.1: ‘Being Cold’ – Strawberry Switchblade



 

LAST DAY TOMORROW.  ACE LAUGH!!!

 

the Jez

 

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘The Christmas Break-Up…’

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