‘Body Electric’ – The Sisters Of Mercy
I WON’T GO DOWN YET. I HOPE…
Tape for Justine
WhileMy Guitar Gently Weeps/The Beatles
The Prettiest Star /David Bowie
Sex Beat/Sex Beat
Here Comes The Night/David Bowie
Worth Waiting For/Gene Loves Jezebel
April Skies/The Jesus And Mary Chain
Paradise /All About Eve
God Only Knows /David Bowie
Heartache/Gene Loves Jezebel
RunningUp That Hill/Kate Bush
WhereHave All The Good Times Gone?/David Bowie
IDon’t Want To Be Friends With You/Shop Assistants
Heart Full Of Soul/Ghost Dance
Sugarblood/The Zodiac Motel
The Murder Of Love/Propaganda
Moments In Love/The Art Of Noise
Love Me To Death/The Mission
Love Like Blood /Killing Joke
Stay With Me/The Mission
Damned Don’t Cry/Visage
Luggage said to me today: ‘If and when Justine finishes with Leighton – which she will, I’m sure – you are bound to come bouncing back, so don’t send any bitchy letters.’
But still, whore, slag, bitch and great big macker bastard that I am, I delivered my latest letter to her, telling her nothing new, but enclosing a tape (see above) of appropriate tracks. I knew this would prove nothing, though.
‘The Damage Done’ – The Sisters Of Mercy
Why am I sending letters to Justine full of so much love AND hate at the same time? I don’t rightly know. It’s as if I NEED to. Just to prove to her that I actually care that she’s gone. That I DID love her. If it all fails to make her realise this, at least I’ll have gone down fighting. I DO NOT WANT TO FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND!!! And if it doesn’t prove my love for her, then at the other extreme it may simply help me. Like therapy. Like with BMW, it might help me exorcise Justine from my soul. She is embedded there, printed. And I can’t forget that we were together. ONCE. A few people agree with me on this point. I need to show her my love. I need to show her my hate. I don’t want to be pushed back. Like old trash. It wasn’t just me that wanted her back; she wanted me back. When we finally got there, when we finally both said yes, she gave it two days and threw it all back in my face with that gimp! And she wants me to fade out silently? Then as Flash once said in worse times: ‘She’s… a right bitch!’
What can I say?
Another quote from Flash, which is so applicable to my current view of Justine: ‘I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT I HATE HER!’
Roger and Blondie had a chat today. She’s finishing with her Italian boyfriend for him. So he’d better move it and get finished with Suz! Luggage agrees. But Suz, difficult as she is, is being dead nice to Roger suddenly. So he’s waiting for an argument to erupt as an excuse to finish.
Roger told me that Justine had read my letter and said it was ‘possessive’. No, not possessive, Justine; I don’t wish to possess you. We could never work again together. I just want you to see what you did to me, thanks. So, she’s gonna listen to the tape tonite, and write to me tomorrow…
As for me, I still can’t get in touch with Diana. I wish she’d write. I really wish she would.
Doctor Who: Delta And The Bannermen (Part Two) tonight.
All my favourite records are by The Sisters Of Mercy.
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Next time: ‘Justine's Letter Says…’