The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 9 November 1987

Tape for Justine


10pm.

 

‘Body Electric’ – The Sisters Of Mercy



 

I WON’T GO DOWN YET.  I HOPE…

 

Tape for Justine

 



The Prettiest Star /David Bowie

Sex Beat/Sex Beat


Worth Waiting For/Gene Loves Jezebel

April Skies/The Jesus And Mary Chain

Paradise /All About Eve

God Only Knows /David Bowie

Heartache/Gene Loves Jezebel

Duel/Propaganda





Heart Full Of Soul/Ghost Dance

Sugarblood/The Zodiac Motel

The Murder Of Love/Propaganda

Moments In Love/The Art Of Noise

Love Me To Death/The Mission

Love Like Blood  /Killing Joke

Stay With Me/The Mission


 

Luggage said to me today: ‘If and when Justine finishes with Leighton – which she will, I’m sure – you are bound to come bouncing back, so don’t send any bitchy letters.’ 

 

But still, whore, slag, bitch and great big macker bastard that I am, I delivered my latest letter to her, telling her nothing new, but enclosing a tape (see above) of appropriate tracks.  I knew this would prove nothing, though. 

 

‘The Damage Done’ – The Sisters Of Mercy


 

Why am I sending letters to Justine full of so much love AND hate at the same time?  I don’t rightly know.  It’s as if I NEED to.  Just to prove to her that I actually care that she’s gone.  That I DID love her.  If it all fails to make her realise this, at least I’ll have gone down fighting.  I DO NOT WANT TO FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND!!!  And if it doesn’t prove my love for her, then at the other extreme it may simply help me.  Like therapy.  Like with BMW, it might help me exorcise Justine from my soul.  She is embedded there, printed.  And I can’t forget that we were together.  ONCE.  A few people agree with me on this point.  I need to show her my love.  I need to show her my hate.  I don’t want to be pushed back.  Like old trash.  It wasn’t just me that wanted her back; she wanted me back.  When we finally got there, when we finally both said yes, she gave it two days and threw it all back in my face with that gimp!  And she wants me to fade out silently?  Then as Flash once said in worse times: ‘She’s… a right bitch!’

 

What can I say?

 

Another quote from Flash, which is so applicable to my current view of Justine: ‘I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT I HATE HER!’

 

Roger and Blondie had a chat today.  She’s finishing with her Italian boyfriend for him.  So he’d better move it and get finished with Suz!  Luggage agrees.  But Suz, difficult as she is, is being dead nice to Roger suddenly.  So he’s waiting for an argument to erupt as an excuse to finish.

 

Roger told me that Justine had read my letter and said it was ‘possessive’.  No, not possessive, Justine; I don’t wish to possess you.  We could never work again together.  I just want you to see what you did to me, thanks.  So, she’s gonna listen to the tape tonite, and write to me tomorrow…

 

As for me, I still can’t get in touch with Diana.  I wish she’d write.  I really wish she would.

 

Doctor Who: Delta And The Bannermen (Part Two) tonight.

 

 

All my favourite records are by The Sisters Of Mercy.

 



 

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

 

Next time: ‘Justine's Letter Says…’

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