‘Forever Autumn’ – Justin Hayward
Last night, when I rang Diana, all I could get was the engaged tone, which was a bugger, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with her.
Today, here we go.
I got up at about 6.30am so as to go to Norwich with Nyall. So I did all my household jobs and received five pounds from Freddie and another three from Betty, which I was well chuffed with. But then I got fucked off, and by 7.30am had decided I couldn’t be arsed to go. So I rang Nyall and told him I’d meet him at 5.30pm in King’s Lynn.
‘God Only Knows’ – David Bowie
I went back to bed for a few hours, then got up and did some more jobs, all with a very happy disposition. I then got dressed...
‘Heartache’ – Gene Loves Jezebel
I wandered around Wisbech with Hazel Church and Astra Trellis, before sauntering off to King’s Lynn, where I arrived at 5.30pm. Nyall was nowhere to be seen. So, I caught the bus to Gayton, following some feeble directions as to where the Rampant Horse pub was, and trusting my own luck. I got to the pub at 6.30pm and I was the first there. The Gondoliers let me in, and I started to get drunk by myself. Reflecting on why I didn’t go to Norwich, I felt glad that I hadn’t. I realised my only reason for wanting to go was to see Justine and Leighton together with my own eyes. But I would just have made myself feel dead ill about it all.
‘Duel’ – Propaganda
Soon, Fiona and Neil Sawyer arrived, telling me that if Nyall didn’t turn up (which he didn’t), I could stay at their house. Then Hamster and Sarah arrived, swiftly followed by the ‘Goth Patrol’ (Roger, Suz and Justine) with Jodie Manning and her mates Vikki, Melanie and Lucy. By then, the place was packed, and I was getting more and more willied.
Before I go any further, I must add that I got some of the usual semi-violent Casual hassle, but it was soon resolved and it doesn’t matter cos I didn’t get whacked or anything and, frankly, it’s not the sort of shit I want to write about in my diary. So there. On with the Soap Opera…
‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’ – Tears For Fears
I chatted to Blondie and her mate Tracey. Blondie reckoned she was liable to ask Roger out again. And all nite they sent messages to each other of how much they love each other. Also, Tracey really fancies me, apparently.
I have become a lot more fond of Sarah. As a good friend. Even so, she mentioned something dodgy. We were on about babies for some reason, and she said, ‘Well, from what I’ve heard, you may already have a baby, Ritcherd.’ But when I asked her what that was supposed to mean, she wouldn’t go back to the point of the remark, no matter how much I tried to make her. Strange…
As I got more and more drunk, I took the piss out of Jodie Manning a real lot, telling her she was a ‘Top Goth’ and a ‘C & A Goth’. I only did it because she seemed the likeliest target and is, of course, Justine’s best friend. In ordinary circumstances, I wouldn’t have taken the piss out of her. But I needed to be a real twat, I really did. It felt nice.
She asked me what was wrong.
I said, ‘Isn’t it obvious?’
‘What?’ she says.
‘It begins with J,’ says I, and then I fucked off.
Justine had a go at me for being a git to Jodie, but in a friendly manner. Apparently Jodie was upset cos lots of people were taking the piss, which made me feel bad.
Suz began to flirt a lot, so Roger and I went outside and he cried his eyes out on me. As we talked, tears fell from my eyes, but I couldn’t cry like I really wanted to, like he was. But I had to talk to him about Justine. About how I love her and hate her all at once. How, at the moment, things could go either way. I could really kill her or make love to her. At one point, I even told Suz this. Suz said, ‘Why don’t you at least do ONE of them?’
All I could say was: ‘I don’t think Justine would find either of them very nice…’
It’s like she finished with me, but I HAVEN’T finished with her. There’s so much more for us to accomplish together. This love is not dead. I don’t believe it’s over at all.
‘Running Up That Hill’ – Kate Bush
Roger and I went back in, and I stood near Justine, who tried to take a photo of me but I just walked off. I needed to be a bastard. I just did, otherwise I’d have had a go at her or something stupid. Or tried to ‘get off with’ her. You know. It would have been emotionally aggressive and a total disaster, either way.
Later, as the bands came on, Justine and Jodie sat on a table at the back and it started to wobble. Justine said, ‘Oh, I think this table’ll snap and collapse if we’re not careful.’
I looked her in the eye and said, ‘I hope so. I hope you break your neck.’
Roger and I buggered off outside again to chat with Blondie and Tracey. Blondie said to me, ‘Tracey says she loves you. Will you go out with her?’
I said I wouldn’t be able to answer questions like that until I’d got Justine out of my mind.
Round about this point, Roger decided he’d get the weekend with Suz over and done with and then, on Monday, finish with her to be with Blondie, who really wants to go out with him.
‘Gimme Shelter’ – The Sisters of Mercy
I went back inside and Justine came up to me.
Isn’t it obvious?
Look, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you, can I?
I’ll tell you what’s wrong – You!
What’s wrong with me?
Last week is what’s wrong.
Look, that’s all happened now. I can’t change it. There’s no going back.
I just fucked off again. I took Roger outside with me and stupidly agonised. But I HAD to have a go at Justine like that. I HAD to. Backing down, forgetting it and just being Justine’s mate is wrong. It’s like a defeat. A victory over me. I don’t want to have someone I love taken away from me. Someone I love a real hell of a lot.
Sarah came outside and told me the crappest thing I heard all night. I hated it. I never wanted to hear it. Sarah saying something that I never really wanted to hear: ‘Ritcherd, get back inside. Justine says stop moping over her. She doesn’t want to go out with you any more and that’s that.’
I was close to tears, but the night went on…
Justine and I are now further apart than ever.
I love her so much I have to hate her.
[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Next time: ‘A Japan mix-tape…’