The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 19 October 1987

Peace of Mind


12.21am.

 

‘Canton (live)’ – Japan



 

PEACE OF MIND

 

Later:

10.56pm.

 

‘Slave To The Rhythm’ – Grace Jones



 

HELLO.  My feet smell.  I’ve just killed a spydre.

 

The Band news.  I can’t be arsed to tell you the whole thing yet, but I’m seeing Stan tomorrow, so I’ll mention it tomorrow night.

 

‘Unzip’ – ABC



So there!

 

As I write this, I’m listening to some old records.  Some that you may not expect me to listen to, but all the same I feel like listening to them, so I shall.

 

‘Chant No. 1’ – Spandau Ballet



 

So.  Once again, it ends.  HAH!

 

‘Doomed from the start,’ as Roger once said.

 

Arriving in Tech today, I saw that Luggage had two black eyes and an extremely scabby and grazed forehead from the casual hassle he got after we’d all gone on Friday night.  Ironic, really, as he was the only unprovocative kid there.  Sad.  Hazel was v. concerned about Lug’s braying.

 

‘West End Girls’ – Pet Shop Boys



 

I spoke to Roger and he told me that he had spent quite a while with Blondie, just chatting.  And he had kissed her.  Sweet. 

 

Blondie’s best mate fancies me. 

 

Anastasia (who’s real name seems to be Jill) does not fancy Roger.

 

Mine ‘n’ Roger’s locker padlock has been nicked.  HAH!  How odd.

 

Another letter from Emma ‘n’ Mary.

 

Legs was amicable today + I was nice to him.  Graham was a laugh.  He reminded me that he and I had been doing a lot of mock pervy sex postions at the gig, and Suz had taken quite a few photos of us!  ULP!!!

 

‘Open Your Heart’ – The Human League


As for Justine… oh god…

 

Roger told me that nothing had actually happened between Justine and anyone else on Friday, which I had presumed to be the case.  Well, nothing, save heavy flirting…

 

Justine, Suz ‘n’ Roger had met Kevin on Saturday and Kevin told her he fancied her.  But nothing happened.

 

Anyway.  Justine came into the Common Room.  I didn’t speak, thus, neither did she.

 

I talked to her friend Susan about how I felt.  Meeting Diana on Saturday had only reinforced my opinion that the development of a relationship between Justine and I would be crass, immature, childish, and – if I may be so arrogant – BELOW me.  I am too old for this kind of nonsense.  I went past all this, yonks ago.

 

‘Party Fears Two’ – The Associates



 

Susan understood.  And she agreed that meeting someone like Diana had helped prove that I don’t need to follow Justine around like a little dog.  I told her I feel that pretty soon, if things continued as they had been, I’d be WELL under Justine’s thumb.  Susan told me she’d talk to Justine and discover her intentions for the future.  And find out what she thinks of me.  I thanked her.

 

‘Party Fears Two’ is excellent!

 

As Susan and Justine went to their lesson, I was left unsure as to how I felt and, in fact, STILL feel.  I mean, I didn’t speak to Justine on principle, I suppose.  I don’t hate her.  I just don’t know what I want to say to her.  And I’m not depressed, I’m well happy.  But… I can’t place what I’m feeling or what’s going on deep inside my mind.  I spoke to Holly Blue about it.  She only understood some of it.

 

‘I Could Be Happy’ – Altered Images



 

Later on, Susan came back and told me that Justine really likes me, regrets Friday nite, but doesn’t really want to go out with me coz of this.  She apologised if it was bad news.  I said, ‘On the contrary, it’s probably good news!’ and off I went to chat to Sarah George and Jenny Taylor.  I then chatted to Legs a bit, and then Astra Trellis, who’s doing my hair on Friday.  I hope.  I’ve probably mentioned what I’m doing to it.  Tough shit if I haven’t.

 

I’d really like to talk to Justine tomorrow…

 

‘O Superman’ – Laurie Anderson



 

I dreamt of Diana last nite.  We were walking arm in arm.  But it was so ASTRAL.  She was ghost-like.  Almost deathly.  Floaty.  Pale and white.  Carrying me along a railway track, through the landscape of my life.  Until we came to a mirror and I was face to face with myself.  Looking like I did in February 1986.  Like the dream had really just reflected the past.  So is it a sense of coming full circle?  The End of something?  I mean, what’s meant by a ghostly Diana?  A railway track?  The Past?  Mirrors?  The old Ritcherd?  Scary in retrospect.  Very scary. 

 

Oh, tonight: Doctor Who: Paradise Towers (Part Three).

 

 



 

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Next time: ‘Bitching…’

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