The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Tuesday, 13 October 1987

Justine and Graham


ANGLES THEATRE, approx 6.15pm:


‘Crystal Ocean’ – The Mission


I wrote Version I in English Lit at about 11.30am.  It was shit.


I am a creature of suppressed violence.  I am full of hate!



Who’s Graham?


Some toppy of a Bowie fan, who Justine used to fancy, but then decided she didn’t as he started going out with a gurl called Liz.  Justine started seeing Ben, and then I went out with her.  I’ve not mentioned him before, but he talks to Justine a lot when I’m not there and thinks that any minute I’m gonna crack him one for it.  But I’ve had no reason to crack him – UNTIL TODAY!!!



‘It’s Called A Heart’ – Depeche Mode


I got into tech and passed Justine.  I smiled.  She did not.  I thought, ‘Fuck off, then.’


I saw Luggage.  He’s great.  I need him now.  He understands.  So does Legs.  Good mates. 


I got into the Common Room and the situation was ‘all Goths together’ with Ritcherd on the outside.  I’ve been pushed out.  Graham was there, with THE ‘GOTHS’, in my place now.


‘All Tomorrow’s Parties’ – Japan


Sarah George was away and I sat next to Jenny in TS.  She gave me back THE letter, as well as a bagful of last year’s letters to borrow.  She decided to skive Lit and asked me to go into town with her, but I would not, as I don’t want to be kicked out.  However, I arranged to meet her at 2pm for trip to town.  Good ol’ KL!!!  Ergh!


Saw Tim Salford, by the way.  He’s well.


‘Alien’ – Japan


I spoke to Luggage at break, and he told me that Justine’s regretting what she did and wants me back, but doesn’t like me enough to come crawling.  Apart from Luggage ‘n’ Legs, I spoke to no one.  THEY all huddled into a circle – as I later found out – to discuss me.  Lug asked me what I wanted.  I said I didn’t know.  In asking myself, ‘What if Justine asked you back out, Jez?’ I decided I’d probably say no!


I met up with Roger at 1pm, and it was a relief to know that he’s still talking.  He’s still with – and still fancies – Suz, but he fancies Blondie as well.  Hey-Ho!  HMPH!  He told me what’s been said by Justine’s mob, i.e. I’m knocking Jenny off (totally jumping to conclusions even Jenny and I are unable to reach!), they consider me a bastard, Jen is known as ‘That’ or ‘It’, Graham joins in all the discussions now (Roger hates him), Suz hates me, and Justine has said she wants me back.  Roger thinks they are all ‘stuck-up bitches’, but won’t tell them that.  He’s staying neutral as he doesn’t want to fall out with Suz, which is fair enough.


Walking through Tech, I took to ignoring Justine + co.  At one point, I caught her talking alone with Graham, but thought nothing of it.


‘Transmission’ – Japan


At 2pm, I met Jenny.  We chatted about all the happenings and all that’s been said.  She told me that her friend Wendy sits next to Suz in English and had spied on Suz ‘n’ Graham who were passing messages to each other. 


Graham said, ‘So she’s finished with Ritcherd.  D’you think I’m in with a chance?’ 

Suz said, ‘Not sure, cos she wants Ritcherd back.’


In KINGSBURGER, Jenny and I chatted about the past again, and hassled each other a fair bit about the bad times.  We also got talking about Justine, and Jenny reckons Justine only went out with me cos I was good for her image and made her look credible.  Jen also said that Justine + I never really looked good together anyway!  I said – and Jenny agreed – that I never REALLY look right with anybody.  I added that I never even FEEL right.  Never have.


‘Communist China’ – Japan


Then a thought came charging thru’ my mind like high speed sycamore leaf strapped to the front of a bull elephant.  It encompassed the situation with Jenny, the split with Justine, the pain in my heart, my sense of future, everything; summed up in five very realistic words:




And what did I feel?  I felt… that I need Justine, don’t I?  All I need from Jenny is friendship.

I decided that I’d have to consider everything all over again.  I was, and am, confused.


Then came the killer, the pain…


As Jenny and I sat on a bench in the shopping precinct, two black-clad figures rounded a corner, only to turn quickly back again.  Jenny had had her back to them.  I had been facing them.  They were Graham and Justine, but now they’d gone.  I told Jenny I’d seen them.  She didn’t turn, but they rounded the corner again, so it was a good thing she didn’t.  But now, as they walked straight past, I saw that… that…





Jenny said she thought it was quite funny.  I had developed into a state of near shock.  I was frozen in a blaze of white heat.  My heart raced.  I felt dizzy.  I could taste blood.  Suddenly, another girl called Jenny rushed over to me ‘n’ Jen saying, ‘She’s not going out with that twat, is she?’ and ‘God, he’s such a twat; we used to take the piss out of him at school’ and ‘Are you okay, Ritcherd?’  When she’d gone, I stormed back to Tech with Jenny.  I was seething. 


When Jenny left, I raged and stomped with Legs ‘n’ Luggage.  GOD!  I told Astra Trellis and Liz (Graham’s ex) what had happened.  Liz didn’t mind too much at first, but then she got WELL angry.





‘William, It Was Really Nothing’ – The Smiths


Perhaps they were just trying to make me jealous and they aren’t really going out with each other!?




Tomorrow I am going to murder someone.






‘Wish You Were Black’ – Japan


What can I think?  I could kill.  Oh god.


Japan are great. 


Oh, how can I ever live at Tech without showing my contempt for Justine + Graham?

MURDER.  If only… MURDER!  MURDER!  If only…


What can I think?


Oh god.  Hate seems futile, but I know it’d make me feel good, better… HAH!


Write to me, Flash.  Looks like the Jezzy gig is off.  Coz I’m coming to see you on the weekend of your birthday, methinks!


Berwin Groomstool, scratching his head with unclipped talons and wondering where his hair has gone…







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.  Never forget: no man is an island.  If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 1  July  2012 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]


Next time: ‘Chasing Justine…’

No comments:

Post a Comment