My No.1: ‘Dead Man’s Autochop’ – Specimen
Hello,
diary, you fucking shit wanger! I’m
fucked in the hee-adde. Well ‘n’
truly. Life’s been HEK-TIK…
I
was sitting with Sonia, taking all
her clothes off. Then all my mates came
in and told me all the rumours they’d been hearing about her. Stuff I already knew. I told them to fuck off and proceeded to kiss
her all over, only to find thick muck caking her unwashed skin…
Then
I woke up. I’d been dreaming and it was
an hour later than when I’d last looked.
Sonia
made me another coffee. We chatted about
stupid things, and even though we were in the same double bed, we were fully
clothed and all notions of ‘getting together’ with her had been extinguished
from my mind. Nothing happened. Thank god!
During
our conversation, I found out that behind my back, Kevin had given her back the Cult tape she had lent me. I had lent it to
him, but fully intended on keeping it or myself – and he knew that because I
told him. I know that’s not a nice thing
to do, but I can’t believe Jason betrayed our friendship and told her the whole
story, too! Bastard! I hate him now. CUNT!
[No! He’s nice now, is Kev – Ritch, Sept ’87!]
Sonia
kept me wake till about 5.30am, then we both fell asleep.
We
awoke at about 11am, and she rushed off to work. I put on a Sisters tape and tidied the bedsit before returning to Tech with a massive hangover.
‘Lucifer
Over Lancashire’ – The Fall
At
Tech, Roger was nazzed and the whole
world was accusing me of having sex with Sonia.
I put the record straight before indulging in a gorgeous glass of Alka-Seltzer.
I
spent the day famished, surviving on a liquid diet. Drinks like the Chicken Soup that Roger and I had bought for us.
In
English Lit, I was 3% below average for First Year marks, which means that I
have to work harder next year…
In
the afternoon, Luggage asked (the
other) Holly out – she said yes! –
and Plastic Nick irritated
everyone. I shall perhaps break his neck
when we return in September…
I
then said farewell to my mates as, for me, college finished for the
Summer. 10 weeks off. How shit!
I
am jealous of Simon ‘n’ Nigel, going to Reading. They’ll be having
fun watching The Mission + The Nephilim, while Flash and I’ll be in Blackpool getting brayed o’er
by some pissed yobs down for the Bank Holiday.
Much fun, oh yus! Of course, that
could NEVER happen to us, eh, Flash?
Sorry
about that. I’ve got a hangover…
It
was good to get home. And eat. And indulge in COFFEE.
[Images subject to control of
individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones,
but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are
copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’
section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the Situation character
‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton Townend Jones and
Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial
British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a
work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents
featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are
used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright
infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1
July 2012 and is intended to
cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
Next time: ‘That Andrews woman…’
No comments:
Post a Comment