10am.
‘Blockbuster’
– The Sweet
Hello there, mates.
Yo-Ho-Ho! What a luverly, luverly mornan’! I ain’t seen such a luverly mornan’ since…
oh, I don’t know whan! The sun is
out. So is the sky. As is my dick. Erm.
The birds are singin’…
Fucking
Typical! Pisses it down all day
yesterday, ruins me hair, soaks me to death and ruins me Kung Fu slippers. But today – me day off – it’s sunny. I bet I’ll have to cut the bastard hedge
now.
SHAYTE! SHART! SHOOTARH!
See
you lahtah, pop-Goths…
Later:
10.27am.
‘Stay
Close’ – Jansen & Takahahsi
I’ve
tidied me room, but I ain’t scoffed owt yet.
What a gyppo, eh?!
So. Who’s gonna win the Election tomorrow, eh? I
think the Conservatives will. I don’t suppose I care who gets in any
more. All the parties have some good in
them and, then again, some bad. I used
to be really anti-Labour, and I
suppose I still am in some ways, but it would be useful if they got in. Y’see if Maggie
gets back in, students aiming for higher education won’t get grants any
more. They’ll have to borrow the dosh
from the government and then pay it back!
With Labour, students get a fatter grant.
Who
cares, though?
It’s
all right for me to feel pretty Conservative at the moment, but I don’t work,
do I?
Actually,
if I was ever ‘ruined’, i.e. ligged outta college, I’d probably turn very Anarchist.
Fuck
the Election! I’m not old enough to
vote, so why am I worrying about it?
Well, not worrying, more sort of being saturated by it. Being bored and irritated by it…
Aren’t
Birthdays irritating, eh? I mean, here I
am on the last day of ‘sixteen’ and I don’t really want to be ‘seventeen’
tomorrow. I feel as tho’ I should be ‘eighteen’. Anyhow, I’ve had lotsa post. WAH DOO BEY DOO. I ain’t opened ‘em yet, cos I’m a bit of a
traditionalist in that sense. I like
surprises. At a guess, though, the cards
are from Gran Winterfood, Paul, and I know one of ‘em is
from Flay-hesh Gordon. I’ll open ‘em tomorrow…
Roger says he’s sending me a card, as do Saskia, Nigel, and Simon.
And I suppose Naomi might be
sendin’ one. It’s all very exciting, is it
not? Cos Roger tells me a mystery gurlie
is sendin’ me a card, also…
Time
for breakfast methinks and a bit o’ Revision.
YAAIIIRGH!!!
I’m
listening to ‘Stay Close’ by Jansen / Takahashi.
I don't want to say it's crap, but it’s
just not where I am right now..
Later:
12.06pm.
‘Shake
the Disease’ – Depeche Mode
I’ve
just watched Conquest of The Planetof the Apes and it was ace.
Yo-Ho-Ho!
I
opened one o’ my cards. It was from Gran + Granddad Sugden. They’re gonna gimme a present when they see
me, they say.
I
want a shit! I will have a shit. I will also read Richard III.
What
a life, eh?
BABBER
TIME. See ya!
Later:
3.49pm.
‘When
the Wind Blows’ – David Bowie
By
the gayboy, Noreen Lambert is
getting me a pressie. Or so she
reckons. Yahrse. I went up to her t’other day and said, ‘Is
tha gerrin’ me a card? An’ an Alien Sex Fiend album wouldn’t go
amiss…’
I
was only joking, but yesterday she said to me, ‘I’ll get you a card ‘n’ a
prezzy on Saturday!’
An’
I said, ‘Yer wha’?’ in shock.
And
she said, ‘You’re my friend.’
‘Oh,’
I thought.
‘I
only speak to you once in a bluemoon.’
But
she says, ‘Well, we’re friends all the same, and I always buy my friends
Birthday presents.’
‘Oh,’
methought. And that was it…
Now
to clean the Bathroom!
Later:
9.14pm.
‘Hugga
Wugga’ – The Muppets
FAROOOK! I’m dying to break open these envelopes, but
on top of all this anxious anticipation, methinks that Freddie ‘n’ Jack are
gonna play some wicked trix on me upon the Morrer…
Oh
shit. I’ve got an English Lit exam tomorrow.
Oh. How shyte! Mock exams are crap.
Flash’s
envelope is per-itty fat…
[Images subject to control of individual
Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but
excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are
copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’
section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial
British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a
work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured
are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for
illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement
is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is
an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please
comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was
amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on
www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]
NEXT TIME: ‘Ritcherd’s 17th birthday…’
No comments:
Post a Comment