Monday, 25 May 1987

Grains of Golden Sand


12.05am.



‘Dream Within a Dream’ – Propaganda






BMW, I love you.  Still.



Miranda, I’ll never stop loving you.



That beautiful August, almost two years ago.  A smart pair of young lads living in a caravan.  The sounds were diverse: Propaganda, Kate Bush and Sex Pistols.  Stars were watched as the two boys lay on the hot, but cooling ground.  Stars were named after two girls: Miranda and Sue.  Miranda’s library card.  ‘What does the ‘B’ stand for?’  That house.  Derelict and bare.  When Make-Up and Sue had gone, Ritcherd and Miranda remained.  The kisses.  The plans.  The weeks without contact.  The mistakes made by Ritcherd .  Then the resurrection of communication.  Trips to the Cinema.  The Failed Sabbath.  The parties.  The ice finally broken thanks to a Grammar School production.  But still there was a betrayal of love on both sides.  Schizophrenia in Ritcherd’s split mind.  The pressure that led to the end of a relationship.  The yearning.  The reunion.  More love at the fayre and in the Cinema.  The Yorkshire trip.  The phone call.  Wiggy.  Mark.  The letter.  And still, Ritcherd loves her… 



‘Boys Don’t Cry’ – The Cure




I AM MILDLY DEPRESSED.  BUT NOT TOTALLY.  ONLY SOME OF THE 182 EMOTIONS THAT I SHARED WITH ONE MIRANDA WASP ARE IN PAIN.  YOU SEE, ANOTHER SIDE OF ME IS HAPPY…



I’ve just had a phone call, all the way from Norwich. 



Guess who it was? 



Yes!  It was Naomi ‘why are you so far away’ Bell. 



She rang for a chat, and that’s just what we did.  We chatted about music, what happened between NICKI and I, and the time Naomi and I spent in THE BELL.  She told me that I can take my friends to her party on 24th July, but it may be risky as Alex will be there – and people might talk about our 4-hour romance.  She’s just had an argument with Alex.  This is all due to his lack of lack of previous romantic affairs with gurlies.  How come?  At Alex’s house, Naomi was trying to show her feelings for him, but he shrugged them off (just like I used to with BMW), so she stormed off home.  She doesn’t know what to do now.  She says that she and I are perfect for each other.  We only knew each other for four hours, but we are both emotional, intelligent people who live on the same wavelength.  How ironic that we should live so far away, and she is there with a man who cannot show emotion, whilst I lament a wasted love.  I will write to Naomi.  Naomi is beautiful. 



BMW is the past.  So why can’t I accept that?



Another BMW session develops…









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NEXT TIME: ‘Resurrected pain…

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