At
Tech…
Listening
to Peter & the Test Tube Babies.
HILLAW!
Yo-Ho-Ho! Last nite, Berwin ‘Wincie’ Groomstool woke up.
At last!
Long skinny limbs with a space helmet
head for a body, groping…
Frankenstein built a monster with
squirty pene for eyes…
WELL! I WOULDN’T FUCKING DARE BE CALLED DENZIL DAVIES!
Pooh
on you, mahteh! AAAAAAAARYADU!
FLOLLOP
ON MY tits!
Roger wants to say hello.
Roger
writes: HELLO
an
original DRAFT
‘A brilliant tree’ or ‘a spiky
penis’…
A man with a stubbly chin…
A man with a ballbag for a chin and a
cock for a nose…
A featureless git with big hands and
fingers falls over onto his arse…
A bird waves at him…
A floppy willy falls out of a hippy’s
miserable mouth…
Roger
writes: Gillian (my
girlfriend) would like to say Hello.
Gillian writes: I
would also like to say hello!
Hello
FLASH
Roger
writes: So goodbye, Mission
fan.
Poo
YO-HO-HO! I WOULDN’T FUCKING DARE!
BOO!
So. I’ve got a new gurlfreund. Her name is Nicki to all you bloody bastards in shitty Normanton. She is a Mish (ugh!) fan. And is nice.
‘YO-HO-HO! WOULDYA DARE?
EH? EH? EH?
EH? YOU WHAT? WHAT YOU SAY?
YOU STARTIN’? YOU STARTIN’? YOU WANT A BRAYING? EH?
EH? C’MON THEN. I’LL TAKE YOU ALL ON. COME ON.
TUT! YER NOT WORTH THE EFFORT!’
said a man who was born in Doncaster,
without a FWEEEEEEEEEEELEHHHH!
‘Pubis’
or ‘SPLADGIDEON’
COCK!
So. I’ve mixed the BTC cassettes I Wouldn’t
Fucking Dare, In Praise of
The Emerald Girls, and I’m in the process of ‘doing’ Gaylord Review 1987. Yo-Ho-Ho!
NOB! DICK!
WAMMON! AMAZON! MERMAID!
WHORE! BITCH! PROSS!
ROGER!
‘Glans’
or ‘SQUINDEL’
‘Penis’
or ‘WADGEON’ or ‘COK’
‘Testes’
or ‘WROX’ or ‘TWOSTURS’
‘Mammaries’
or ‘WRUGGAS’
Har-Har-Har! Hazel
likes The A Team. And Doctor
Who. Well, see you soon,
All
my boys, girls, dogs, donkeys, giraffes, love, sex, gratuitous violence, semen,
sperm, orgasms, rockets, Yo-Ho-Hos, dead syphillis monsters, crab sandwiches,
Eskimos, pints of blood, and my very own Nubian manservant whom I ritually
abuse come the night time,
Jezebel
XXXXXXXX
Hello!
is thy olraeght?
Av just wokk up!
i’m
not telling
Shatey
Ritcherd
about
what happened
with
the Spanish blokes
i
need to talk to
YOU
about it … WRitE to me!
i
wanna gohome
LUV
Berwin G xxx
PS.
Ritch doesn’t know but i think
i’m PREGNANt!
Later:
‘Sense
of Doubt’ – David Bowie
Hello.
Well,
‘what’s happened lately?!’ you all cry.
Don’t
you?!
Well,
drifting back to that ancient day that was today, Roger, Gillian (both of whom
have become nasty, bitchy and horrible), Kevin
and I went to The Walks and got
per-issed. Well, what could we do? Kevin and I had sorrows, so we chose to drown
them by the chapel on the mount. Or is
it a hill?
‘Oh
no! Not The Hill!’
I
have very few sorrows, but Kevin has plenty.
Yarse! He’s been kicked out by
his parents, and all because he’s ‘weird’.
I also found out that his sister died of Chickenpox two years ago and his
parents have been nasty ever since. I
feel sorry for him. He wanted to die at
Christmas when Tech broke up, just like I did.
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was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on
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NEXT TIME: ‘Nightingale and Prince…’
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