Listening to Peter & the Test Tube Babies.
Yo-Ho-Ho! Last nite, Berwin ‘Wincie’ Groomstool woke up. At last!
Long skinny limbs with a space helmet head for a body, groping…
Frankenstein built a monster with squirty pene for eyes…
WELL! I WOULDN’T FUCKING DARE BE CALLED DENZIL DAVIES!
Pooh on you, mahteh! AAAAAAAARYADU!
FLOLLOP ON MY tits!
Roger wants to say hello.
Roger writes: HELLO
an original DRAFT
‘A brilliant tree’ or ‘a spiky penis’…
A man with a stubbly chin…
A man with a ballbag for a chin and a cock for a nose…
A featureless git with big hands and fingers falls over onto his arse…
A bird waves at him…
A floppy willy falls out of a hippy’s miserable mouth…
Roger writes: Gillian (my girlfriend) would like to say Hello.
Gillian writes: I would also like to say hello!
Roger writes: So goodbye, Mission fan.
YO-HO-HO! I WOULDN’T FUCKING DARE!
So. I’ve got a new gurlfreund. Her name is Nicki to all you bloody bastards in shitty Normanton. She is a Mish (ugh!) fan. And is nice.
‘YO-HO-HO! WOULDYA DARE? EH? EH? EH? EH? YOU WHAT? WHAT YOU SAY? YOU STARTIN’? YOU STARTIN’? YOU WANT A BRAYING? EH? EH? C’MON THEN. I’LL TAKE YOU ALL ON. COME ON. TUT! YER NOT WORTH THE EFFORT!’ said a man who was born in Doncaster, without a FWEEEEEEEEEEELEHHHH!
‘Pubis’ or ‘SPLADGIDEON’
So. I’ve mixed the BTC cassettes I Wouldn’t Fucking Dare, In Praise of The Emerald Girls, and I’m in the process of ‘doing’ Gaylord Review 1987. Yo-Ho-Ho!
NOB! DICK! WAMMON! AMAZON! MERMAID! WHORE! BITCH! PROSS! ROGER!
‘Glans’ or ‘SQUINDEL’
‘Penis’ or ‘WADGEON’ or ‘COK’
‘Testes’ or ‘WROX’ or ‘TWOSTURS’
‘Mammaries’ or ‘WRUGGAS’
Har-Har-Har! Hazel likes The A Team. And Doctor Who. Well, see you soon,
All my boys, girls, dogs, donkeys, giraffes, love, sex, gratuitous violence, semen, sperm, orgasms, rockets, Yo-Ho-Hos, dead syphillis monsters, crab sandwiches, Eskimos, pints of blood, and my very own Nubian manservant whom I ritually abuse come the night time,
is thy olraeght?
Av just wokk up!
i’m not telling
about what happened
with the Spanish blokes
i need to talk to
YOU about it … WRitE to me!
i wanna gohome
LUV Berwin G xxx
PS. Ritch doesn’t know but i think
‘Sense of Doubt’ – David Bowie
Well, ‘what’s happened lately?!’ you all cry.
Well, drifting back to that ancient day that was today, Roger, Gillian (both of whom have become nasty, bitchy and horrible), Kevin and I went to The Walks and got per-issed. Well, what could we do? Kevin and I had sorrows, so we chose to drown them by the chapel on the mount. Or is it a hill?
‘Oh no! Not The Hill!’
I have very few sorrows, but Kevin has plenty. Yarse! He’s been kicked out by his parents, and all because he’s ‘weird’. I also found out that his sister died of Chickenpox two years ago and his parents have been nasty ever since. I feel sorry for him. He wanted to die at Christmas when Tech broke up, just like I did.
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NEXT TIME: ‘Nightingale and Prince…’