The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 11 April 1987

One Hundred Per Cent Perfect

It’s approx 2.45pm I should say…

‘Where Have All The Good Times Gone?’ – David Bowie



I intend going up to Wisbech soon, but, alas, I can’t have my crimpers back.  EVER!  That’s cos my ‘parents’ are rite bastards.  God, they hate me.  I hope they don’t make me work at that shit lorry yard again or I’ll be sick.  All over them!  All I do at home now is contribute to THEIR future, for THEM, with the jobs I have to do, which they’re always maintaining I DON’T do.  And I really wouldn’t mind if I felt they gave a shit about me, or took an interest in my life or thought about my future as well.  I know I’m crap at keeping up with my homework, but their attitude is: ‘If you can’t fit your college work around your jobs, then don’t go to college.’ 

Bastards, eh?  Selfish or what?!

They won’t let me go to Yorkshire this week or next week, I bet you.  Just cos I didn’t wash the pots on two occasions last week!  What?  I’m sure I avoided ‘em on purpose, much.  It was the breakfast dishes.  That’s all!  And the reason I didn’t do ‘em was because I got up late!  And then, cos I was in a hurry and I forgot, I left my crimpers on when I set off for Tech.  And now they’ve been confiscated.  I’m sure I DID want to leave ‘em on.  No, I’m not capable of making a mistake, so that must be it.  I’m sure I DID want to leave those crimpers on!  Of course, that’s it!  I left them on on purpose, cos I wanted them to be taken away from me.  I like going around with scruffy hair.  It’s all clear now!



You see, in our house, mistakes are not tolerated.  You have to be a 100% perfect human being or they put y’down.  BASTARDS!

I’d better be going to Yorkshire or someone’s gonna die…

‘Mirage’ – Siouxsie and the Banshees

Well.  As times are a-changing, I’d better describe myself and my interests these days…

I am trash.

I’m quite tall now, slowly getting thinner and I wear mostly black clothes. 

My hair (when I have my crimpers – my pince a gaufrers – in my possession) is usually crimped, then back combed and hairsprayed.  It looks very big as there’s a lot of it.  It’s a horrible shitty blond colour, like spun gold. 

I wear a lot of eye make-up, and black lipstick can often be seen on my lips.  I haven’t worn nail varnish for quite a bit as I’m biting my nails again.

I no longer desire to be seen with stubbly hair upon my chin, cos the casuals do that!

My lip has got an awful scar/scab thingie on it at the moment, but it’s noticeable unless you know it’s there.  I received it on Thursday, when messing about with some mates, and one ‘punched’ me in the lip by accident.  But she says she’ll by me a drink for it, so that’s okay…

My clothes: I can mostly be seen in two pairs of tight black jeans at once.  The under pair have a rip in the knee.  The over pair have a complete crutch and both knees missing.  I wear black suede boots, tucked into my trousers rather than the stupid futurist other way round.  Around the ankle of my left boot I wear a set of purple beads.  Sometimes I wear a pair of shapeless, battered suede shoes with bright purple socks.  Hanging from my belt is a paisley patterned dressing gown cord.  I only wear two variations on tops these days.  One is my Jesus and Mary Chain T-shirt (sometimes with a purple + black striped shirt over the top, open to the bottom two buttons).  The other is a black jumper.  With both, I wear one black crucifix, beads and silver skull on a chain, tight to my neck.  I possess a fair few bangles.  One is black.  Its sister lives on my soul brother’s wrist.

My favourite coat is a short black jacket that has broad shoulders and comes down to the top of my waist.  It resembles an army battledress jacket in shape, but it’s a bit too designer.  Rather unattractive, I suppose.  But it’ll do as long as I wear the right things with it, or until I get a leather biker’s jacket.  On its left lapel is a black Gene Loves Jezebel badge.

Music: My faves are GLJ, Sisters of Mercy, Alien Sex Fiend, and anything hard in the way of punk, Goth and Anarcho-punk.  I like Crass.  I like a few Fuzzbox trax.  I have soft spot for the Pistols, Cocteaus, Ghost Dance, and The Cult’s ‘Love Removal Machine’ 12-inch (e’en tho’all their other stuff’s shate).  The Meteors aren’t bad, Bauhaus are okay, Love + Rockets are ace, Mott The Hoople aren’t bad, Bill Nelson’s good and Shop Assistants are nice.

I don’t think I like The Mission much any more, I probably hate The Smiths now, Bowie can be dull these days, T Rex are getting boring and King Kurt are tossers.

Really, I like most alternative stuff.  But Gene Loves Jezebel rules the whole pack of ‘em.

Fave 7-inch:        

‘Sickle Moon’ by Xmal Deutschland

Fave 12-inch:     

‘Desire (white label)’ – Gene Loves Jezebel

Fave LP:              

Discover – Gene Loves Jezebel

‘Showing Out’ – Mel & Kim

A List of Girlfriends + One-Offs (just out of boredom…)

1977 / 1978:

Mandy Wellington (6)

Kirsty Mullen (7)

1978 / 1979:

Cheryl Pickering (14)


Mary Lennox (15)

Lisa – I think that was her name… (11)


Shelly Watson (14)

Alex Ingram (13)

Joanne Watson (13)


Ellen Barrett (13)


Carol Ransome (14)

Nancy Freeman (12)

Amanda ‘Manda’ Jones (12)

Liz (15)

1984 / 1985:

Mandy Dell (14)


Jayne Tyler (15)

Kirsty McDonald (15)

Jo Brownlow (15)

Mandy ‘Chompers’ James (15)

Cally Bell (15)

Jo Wheeler (15)

Caz from Barnsley (18)

Janet Joy (15)

Carol Ransome (16)

1985 / 1986:

Beatrice Miranda Wasp (15)


Carol Ransome (16)

Keir Dench (11)

Angelene Hawkins (15)

Mandy James (16)

Tara Speed (16)

Sadie Woolf (16)

Melba Dench (16)

Angie Jones – just about!  Too close for comfort, as it were… (15)

Alison Ford (17)

Jenny Taylor (17)


Joanne ‘Dodo’ Layne – worth the hassle? (15)

Sonia King (17)

Anna (17)

Cor!  That’s a lotta girls… 

How boring.

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Here I go and I don’t know why…

No comments:

Post a Comment