The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Monday, 6 April 1987

Another Miranda

That bastard casual ‘n’ his mates who hassled me ‘n’ Roger yonks back is now hassling Solomon and Kevin.  Their only defence was to take the piss out of him, but if they take the piss again he’s gonna 'kill them, apparently.  If he says anything about or to me, though, I’ll fuckin’ kill him.  Same goes with Roger.  Y’see, this kid’s so fuckin’ hard when he’s with all his mates, but by his self he’s the proverbial babber pie on legs, man.  God!  I hate him.



Well, who don’t I hate these days?!



People keep asking me if I’m on drugs.  I think I wish I was.  Well, I suppose I am on drugs, actually: painkillers and antibiotics for my toothache and my spots, so fuck off!



Later:



It’s 11pm, and I think I understand Dodo’s point at the moment.  I hold no bitterness towards her.  I don’t think.  At the moment…



I’ve had a shit day.  It’s been SHIT.  SHERRIT.  SHAIIT.  SHUUUEWERETT.  SHIGHOT. 



S’FUCK Y’ALL!



I got to tech ‘n’ I wore my ripped black kegs, me short black jacket, me J+MC T-shirt, ‘n’ me purple shirt.  And my hair was fookin’ all o’er.  Good, eh?




Worraweirdo, eh?



BOLLOX, you fuckin’ casha basterds.


'Wait and See' - Gene Loves Jezebel



I dossed for ages, then Solomon, Holly and I went up town with Kevin to get The Cure’s new single (not for me, for Kevin!).  The shop didn’t have it.  They said, ‘Come back this afternoon.’  I was bored, so I bought the 12-inch of ‘Stay Close’ by Steve Jansen & Yukihiro Takahashi


…which isn’t as good as I’d like it to be, but who cares, eh?  It was only 99p.  And that was for a 12-inch, so ner-ner-nar-ner-ner! 



Wotta cheedeh, eh?  eh?  eh? 



BORED!  BORED! FER-UCKIN’ BORED!  And I’ve got a fucking toothache…



‘New Horizons’ – Gene Loves Jezebel




Returning to Tech, I met Sonia, but felt uncertain as to what she thought of me…  She, Kevin and I went to KINGSBURGER and chatted lots.  She told me that Phoebe DOES still keep in contact with BMW (contrary to what Phoebe has told me).  Apparently, Sonia will be borrowing some Sisters records from BMW via Phoebe (!).  Sonia finally decided to get to the bottom of my interest in BMW and asked me to tell her what had happened between us.  I told her that BMW had been THE girl in my life.  I had to.  I had to be frank.  I didn’t want to lie to her.  I asked her if she understood.  She supposed she did.  She then asked me if BMW walked thru’ the door and said ‘Will you go out with me?’ would I?  I told Sonia I would if I wasn’t attached to a girl at the time, i.e. SONIA, as I wouldn’t want to destroy our relationship.  Sonia told me that she felt like this about a boy she went out with this time last year.  Guess who it was?



Yes.  Correct.  Gary Decan (Joey’s brother)



How’d you guess, eh?  Would you adam ‘n’ eve it?!



She was shocked to discover that I know him and that I’d nearly ended up writing songs for one of his bands.  I then began to feel I was here in the shadow of Gary Decan…



‘Maid of Sker’ – Gene Loves Jezebel




We returned to Tech to sit with Solomon, Holly, Bianca, Roger, Gillian and Luggage, before invading a sound booth in the Library, which we got done for, as only one person should be allowed in at a time.  By this time, I was feeling that Sonia was being really ‘offish’.  I found out why as I set of for Drama…



Sonia walked to the third floor with me and said, ‘Can I ask you a question?’

I thought, ‘Here we go again.  Pre-planned talk which ends up meaning, Fuck off, Ritcherd , I don’t love you, but in a nice roundabout way…’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘would you mind if we were just friends?’

I told her I honestly didn’t know. 

My mind was saying, ‘Why?  I want all this to continue…’

She then hit the sensitive regions of my heart and said, ‘I don’t want to be another Miranda.’ 

That ‘Miranda’ being BMW.  ‘And I don’t want to get hurt’ she added.

That lost me.  What did she mean by all that?  I still don’t know…

I asked her to give me a chance to think, and went to Drama, where I lost myself in an internal hysteria…



‘Here and There’ – The Stranglers




I thought hard about it.  Perhaps she’s right.  I don’t see much of her.  She’s into Gary more than ever and I’m into BMW more than ever – which is stupid! – and we’ve only known each other 8 days or so…  But then I felt that I might really like her a lot, i.e. more than I thought I did…



I met her at 4pm and she gave me her phone number.  And went.  No kiss, nothing.  I didn’t want to kiss her again in case she’d be offended. 



She’ll be at Tech tomorrow…



Gillian was surprised when I told her my news.  She said, ‘I think you really love her.’ 



But do I?  REALLY REALLY?  That much?  Not as much as BMW, obviously.  But I don’t want to lose her…



‘Stay Close’ – Jansen & Takahashi




I hope I can see Flash at Easter…



Actually, I’ve decided that ‘Stay Close’ is good.  Very good.  Brilliant, so fuck off if you hate it, it’s my record.



Oh god.  This day last year was very important, I must tell you.  It was a landmark in my own history.  I learnt news from which I have not yet recovered.  I’d been staying at my Gran’s and I came back hoping to ring BMW and ask her back out.  But when I rang her she told me she was now going out with Wiggy.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was shattered.  And I still am.  That news killed a part of me – perhaps my heart, my soul or my ‘sanity’.  It erased 6 months of my life…



Why Wiggy?  He’s a fat ugly bastard!  I think she even got off with him when I was going out with her.  And then she finished with him and moved on to Mark Gorilla’s Ass!



I’m jealous, Mark.  I’d like to kill you, I’m that jealous.



I want her.  I’m obsessed with her.  How many BMW phases have I been through?  And no, it’s not a macho-challenge of ‘I want what I can’t have’ proportions.  I just want her.  She’s gorgeous.  She is THE GIRL in my life.  All the time and I can’t shake it.  The awful thought that she might see me as a twat or a dork or somesuch.  But, Ms Wasp, I want a second chance.  Oh, please.  I can never tell you how much I love you.



It’s all so unrequieted.  Perhaps it’s better that way…



I’m a loser.  I’ve lost Sonia, I can tell.  It’ll be over and we’ll never talk again.



I love ‘Stay Close’.  The lyrics seem to fit with 1987 so far.



Come on, Jezebel, you can’t always dwell in the past, can you?  Go to bed.  Dream awhile.  Forget your toothache and your heartache.  Ask Sonia what she means by ‘being another BMW’ tomorrow…



I love this song.



BMW!  BMW!  I LOVE YOU!



I love this song.



Sonia!  What will I do?  I feel so dejected about everything.  Rejected.



Hey, Jez!  Sleep on it.



Goodbye, cruel world, I’m sleepin’ tonite…



I love this song.



Yes, I’m a bastard psycho!  So what?!



Alternative Vinyl – Cassette Compilation



Side One:



The Temple Of Love (Extended) – The Sisters of Mercy



All Day Long – Shop Assistants

Alice – The Sisters of Mercy

Spellbound – Siouxsie and The Banshees


Inside Me (John Peel Session) – The Jesus And Mary Chain


Dead and Re-Buried – Alien Sex Fiend



Side Two:



Marian (Version) – The Sisters Of Mercy

Empire of the Senses – Bill Nelson

Flaming Desire – Bill Nelson

Happy House – Siouxsie and The Banshees



Upside Down – The Jesus and Mary Chain

Wave – David Sylvian

Heartache (UK Club Mix) – Gene Loves Jezebel







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Gone, man…

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