The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Friday, 10 April 1987

Alcohol Is Your Yoga, Baby

It is 6.19pm, ‘n’ I feel sykke.  You’ll see why…

‘Marian (Version)’ – The Sisters Of Mercy





Today!  Yeyass, today!  FOOKAAAARGH!  The last day o’ term… er… Yarrse!  We had some fun.  I did an essay this morning and then went to Drama.  At 1pm, Roger + co. were supposed to meet me in the common room so we could all get pissed.  But only Sonia turned up and told me, raight jollily, that she only wants to be mates with me.  So I got rather moody…

Oh, well.  Y’win some.  Unless your name is Jezebel

Anyhoy, I found Roger, Gillian, Bianca, Holly, Kevin, Libby (my gurlie at The Mission gig), a kid called Barney and some other kid called Superted (who looks like Johnny Rotten) at the Walks. 

God knows who Barney is, but he got off with Libby.  I was rite fucked off: about Sonia, and the fact that all these bastards had bought some boozehh and drunk it all without me.  They were all fuckin’ pissed, so I went and bought a bottle o’ cider.  And here I am.  Pissed to fuck.

‘Illusion’ – X-Mal Deutschland

Eventually, Roger’s cousin Wendy’s mates arrived: Raquel, Linda and Anna.  They were all sloshed, too, especially Anna, who, like me, had been on antibiotix this morning.  Wendy and I haven’t spoken since we postponed our ‘relationship’ in February.  We all pissed around, totally zapped, and Anna came up to me and started kissing me.  It really bugged Sonia, so that cheered Gillian up, which was interesting.  I didn’t complain ‘n’ before I knew it, we were on the grass and Anna kept placing my hand on her tit.  We kissed really passionately, even though she’s not my type.  I was surprised to see her like this, cos she’s usually reasonably quiet and not known as a slag or nothing.  She told me she’s always fancied me.  Don’t all pissed girls say that, tho’? 

‘Do you like being wanked off?’, ‘Will you go out with me?’, ‘I’ve always wanted you’, ‘I won’t regret this cos I’m with Ritcherd …’ were just some of the things Anna said to me on the Walks’ field.

She also continually asked me to fuck her.  I told her I couldn’t in the middle of the park with all the others around us.  And no condoms.  She said that was fair enough. 

‘Will you fuck me when you’re sober?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but not today.’

She said she was prepared to wait for another occasion.  She then walked up to Roger and tried to give him a blow job before being sick a lot.

So does she REALLY like me?  Or, like me, was she just pissed as hell?

Her friend Linda said, ‘She’s been on heat for ages…’  I’m not sure how to take that, as I think she also told me that Anna had fancied me for quite a while…


‘Desire (Extended Mix)’ – Gene Loves Jezebel

Returning to Tech, Roger and I fell down a lot.  When Nyall joined us, the two of them fell out and Roger threatened to knife Nyall…  I started looking for Carl Hatfield with Roger, cos we were gonna kill him.  It turned out he was away.  Good job, cos he’d be dead by now.

Anna went to the sick bay and Bianca went for a wee, whilst Kevin stood in the cubicle and watched.  I am so jealous!  I’d give my right arm to have seen that!  They then started going with each other.  Bianca and Kevin?!  How?  She’s gorgeous!  I would have loved that!  All I managed was chatting with Leon about The Jesus and Mary Chain!

Roger finally asked Gillian out.  Good, eh?

Now I’m home.  Pissed, listening to GLJ, with a bowl of Moussaka at my side.

I hope I can go to Ponte next week.  But I bet I have to stay here and work at Freddie’s lorry yard.  I refuse to do such a thing.

‘These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ (Live)’ – The Meteors

The Meteors are okay, aren’t they?

Shit!  Just got Moussaka all up my arm…

Naw!  The Meteors are shit.  I hate The Cult as well.  But ‘Love Removal Machine’ is good on 12-inch.  I think.

Oh god!

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Childish…

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