‘Alice’ – The Sisters of Mercy
I feel so weird. All day, I’ve been in a strange depression. But why? What have I got to be depressed about? The things most on my mind are Flash and Dodo, but, so far, there are no new problems there.
Tech? It can be a grind/bind. Home? Why do I dislike it? God knows. I’m so tense and I’m not very keen on life at the moment. I could just die. I’d like to go and sit in a corner and fade away. Then again, I’d like to bounce around just screaming my head off.
I suppose I feel some amount of regret. All the trouble I’ve caused Flash. I don’t feel worthy of his friendship. And I think this is at the root of my depression. Perhaps. There’s a letter from him in the living room, but I’m not going to read it till later. I’ll enjoy it more – as usual.
Roger’s mum gave birth last night to Gareth Robin Watson. Betty has her sproglett in 8 weeks…
Why am I so depressed?
Roger was really great today, but I just kept wandering off to be alone. The casuals who ‘hassled’ us are now hassling Kevin and Solomon. Twats or what?
God, I’m so pissed off. I just can’t cope with this awful reality. It’s too much for me. I hope Flash’s got some good news. Ciao!
I’m halfway thru that bastard Gordon’s letters. It seems that we aren’t best mates any more. He’s now best mates with TAZ. I’m crying. I can’t take it…
It is 9.12pm.
‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ – The Mission
SORRY ABOUT THE RIPPED PAGES. When I started crying, I fucked my room about and ripped my diary. I’M REALLY MUCH CHEERFUL!
I’ve completed a letter to Flash. I’m so confused. I’ve just decided to post the very latest volume of my diary to him.
Don’t destroy it, Flash. I hope you can make sense of it. And try not to hate me.
I LOVE HIM LIKE FOOK. And that’s not me crawling cos you’re reading this.
Well. I hate Mondays. And Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays – SO FOOK.
I’ve decided not to send him my diary. I ain’t got a big enough envelope.
I love Flash. I love Dodo. I love Roger. I love Saskia. I love Hazel. I love sex.
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NEXT TIME: ‘Self-loathing…’