The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Wednesday, 18 March 1987

Tomorrow Never Knows

5.37pm.

‘Alice’ – The Sisters of Mercy

I feel so weird.  All day, I’ve been in a strange depression.  But why?  What have I got to be depressed about?  The things most on my mind are Flash and Dodo, but, so far, there are no new problems there. 




Tech?  It can be a grind/bind.  Home?  Why do I dislike it?  God knows.  I’m so tense and I’m not very keen on life at the moment.  I could just die.  I’d like to go and sit in a corner and fade away.  Then again, I’d like to bounce around just screaming my head off. 



I suppose I feel some amount of regret.  All the trouble I’ve caused Flash.  I don’t feel worthy of his friendship.  And I think this is at the root of my depression.  Perhaps.  There’s a letter from him in the living room, but I’m not going to read it till later.  I’ll enjoy it more – as usual.



Roger’s mum gave birth last night to Gareth Robin Watson.  Betty has her sproglett in 8 weeks…



Why am I so depressed? 



Roger was really great today, but I just kept wandering off to be alone.  The casuals who ‘hassled’ us are now hassling Kevin and Solomon.  Twats or what?



God, I’m so pissed off.  I just can’t cope with this awful reality.  It’s too much for me.  I hope Flash’s got some good news.  Ciao!



Later:

7.38pm.



I’m halfway thru that bastard Gordon’s letters.  It seems that we aren’t best mates any more.  He’s now best mates with TAZ.  I’m crying.  I can’t take it…



Later:

It is 9.12pm.



‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ – The Mission




SORRY ABOUT THE RIPPED PAGES.  When I started crying, I fucked my room about and ripped my diary.  I’M REALLY MUCH CHEERFUL!



I’ve completed a letter to Flash.  I’m so confused.  I’ve just decided to post the very latest volume of my diary to him. 



Don’t destroy it, Flash.  I hope you can make sense of it.  And try not to hate me.



I LOVE HIM LIKE FOOK.  And that’s not me crawling cos you’re reading this.



Well.  I hate Mondays.  And Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays – SO FOOK.



I’ve decided not to send him my diary.  I ain’t got a big enough envelope.



I love Flash.  I love Dodo.  I love Roger.  I love Saskia.  I love Hazel.  I love sex. 







[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]



NEXT TIME: ‘Self-loathing…’

No comments:

Post a Comment