Listening to Propaganda.
I posted the letter!
I purchased this week’s Sounds with a free EP featuring The Mission!
God, aren’t they just fuckin’ ace? And it’s sinking in now, that I’ve actually seen them; stood a foot or so away from Wayne Hussey’s legs and had a rose thrown at me by him. And I own their autographs! Before I really got into them, I’d write their name all over desks and folders, etc. Prophetic, eh? I’m glad I like them.
Well! Today was STRANGE. As I sat with Roger, Saskia and Tish, I lapsed into a dream-like state of depression. I felt so fucked off. And I don’t know why. Things just went dreamy and I hated everything. Eventually, Roger took me into King’s Lynn to get Saskia a copy of Sounds and I felt a bit better. Then we bumped into Luggage, a kid who’s only just getting into alternative music. Along with Solomon Brown, and their mate Kevin Wood, Luggage sort of hangs around Roger and me for ‘tutoring’. Apparently, Solomon really looks up to me! Oh well… Luggage very kindly bought us all dinner in Kingsburger (because The Videodome has definitely closed for good – HOORAY, I HATE IT!). We returned to Tech, but mine ‘n’ Roger’s afternoon Elective was cancelled, so we dossed around with Solomon and Kevin. After a while, they went, so Roger and I went to the Refectory for a game of (mostly Bowie-based) charades with Ruth Wotsit and her mate Ziggy. Ziggy’s strange. She’s got 48 Bowie (or Bowie related) albums and is totally obsessed. She actually walks around with the full Aladdin Sane face-flash some days. I couldn’t really do with it, but she enjoys it! Anyway, she’s a nice person and I’m thankful that another (very) visible Bowie fan actually exists.
On the way home, I got fucked off again because Monica sat next to Claire Stubbs and not me. I didn’t have anyone to talk to until Claire got off. But Monica’s situation is really fucking up! She now has no boyfriend (for various reasons that I can’t really be bothered to go into detail about!).
Back home, I wrote a letter for Dodo, explaining to her what I had written to Flash. I hope she doesn’t mind. Why does she live yonks and eaons ‘n’ starf away? It’s not fucking fair! OH GOD! MY LETTER TO FLASH! I hope it gets lost in the post. What it tells of Dodo and I, the original ‘fling’, will fill him with fury. He was just coming to accept our ‘co-existence’. But now… It seemed to be the right time to get it all out in the open. This will be the final test of our friendship. I can’t face him until he knows the truth. He’ll either hate me or forgive me. PLEASE FORGIVE ME – DON’T DESERT ME OR I’LL WASTE AWAY! AND I DO WANT YOU TO COME AT EASTER, IT’S JUST BETTY…
Why, Flash, why? I don’t understand what’s happening to us both! When we meet each other, you’re always depressed, then I get depressed and we agonise and things get dreary! Why? When did this all start? I can’t remember, but it hasn’t always been this way. We used to be really large characters. Now we always seem empty.
Another mystery of life that is killing me is the ‘ghost’ of BMW’s love. I felt so weird on Sunday, in the derelict house.
Listening to Kraftwerk.
I’ve been listening to Propaganda and Kraftwerk out of boredom and lack of money for getting into the bands I REALLY want to listen to. Don’t worry; it’s not a ‘casual revival’, just boredom. Well, I listen to Kraftwerk cos they’re good. Except for the breakdancing stuff. But I don’t think I’ll be listening to Propaganda again for a bit. I think they’re shit (for now) and I can’t be arsed…
I had a really dizzy spell tonite. I am going crazeee!
What does tomorrow hold? Why do my crimpers stink? Why am I so shit?
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NEXT TIME: ‘Oh god…’