The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Sunday, 15 March 1987

Loosening Up

It is about 3.50pm.

‘I Don’t Want To Be Friends with You’ – Shop Assistants

And, well.  I can’t be bothered to write too much rite now, but I’ll do a lot later.  So, first of all, I may as well start with my emotions ‘n’ feelings throughout the duration of the first part of today.

I awoke at about 11.40am and decided to dress differently for a change; so as not to feel tense or depressed about things.  I put on some baggy trousers (black) and my orange shirt and covered myself in all manner of neck attachments.  This is not my new style of dress, readers; I’m just trying to loosen up.  Or I was this morning, anyhoy.  I was in real indecision about Flash, and I was worried as to whether he’d tried to kill Dodo or anything.  I mean, he is ‘armed’ these days.  I began to go a bit freak again and had a really good conversation with the cooker (god knows why!)…

Anyhoy, I’ll tell you the rest later, as I can’t be raight arsed at the mo’…

A grinning smile…




It is now later and I’m still not going to tell you what happened.  Cos I’m a rite bastard.

‘Maid of Sker’ – Gene Loves Jezebel

Ritcherd  xxxx

You might have guessed I was listening to Gene Loves Jezebel, but that’s got feck all to do with what’s been going on here today.  I, the raight sweet Jezebel, will be back lahtah…


THE TIME IS 6.10pm.

‘Respectable’ – Mel & Kim

Well, on with the story…

At about 2pm, I began to eat my dinner when – ‘Hark!  Is that the phone a-ringing?’ – and it was.  For me.  And it was Flash!  ‘HEEELP!’ methought, but he’d rung to say sorry for the letter.  Thank God!  Even tho’ he’s no reason to apologise.  It’s all mine ‘n’ Dodo’s fault.

So we agreed that we are still mates.  You don’t know how great that makes me feel.  Life’s worth living again.  He went on to say that there is no point in having a grudge held between us all.  He’s definitely ‘Wales-ing’ – possibly in August.

I’m certainly glad we’re mates again.

On Thursday, he wrote a hate mail to Dodo when he sent mine.  But as he posted hers, he realised he shouldn’t have and so rang her, telling her to ignore it – even tho’ he did want to invite her out so he could stab her to death!  He spent the last few days quite mad, wandering the streets of Pontefract, just hoping someone would start on him so he could knife ‘em.  No one did.

On Friday, after spending a lot of time with Taz, he went to a party – and Dodo was there.  He found out from some of her friends that when the hate mail had arrived she was as panicked as hell, and he felt guilty about it.  So, he and Dodo were forced (by Dodo’s friends) to hold a conversation.  They were getting on really well, but she was upset that I haven’t written to her yet.  Then she flew off the handle with him for some reason and the last thing he said to her was ‘BOLLOX!’ and he proceeded to get very pissed.  But as the party ended, he was sure he saw Dodo walking home with someone’s arm around her.  He was later told that it was a girl.

At the end of the party, he got talking to some kid who Flash said ‘spoke a lot of sense’ (e.g. Flash didn’t ought to be carrying a knife around).  As they were talking, this kid said he liked Dodo a lot and would be meeting her today!  Flash said he didn’t know what Dodo’s intentions were, but he knows what this lad’s are.  Flash actually put up a case for me, but this kid (who is 18) said that if I fuck it up for him, he’ll kill me.  An’ I care much.  I’m bothered about dying, lots!

Flash’s gonna keep an eye on Dodo for me.  She was supposed to ring me today, but she didn’t!  She’s probably got off with this bastard 18 year old – Jimmy!  That’s his name:  Jimmy!  You’d better not, Dodo!

On Monday, Flash’s gonna send the latest letters he’s writ for me, ‘n’ I’ll write to him.  Thank god we’re mates.  Forgive ‘n’ forget.  Let’s start again.  He’s so ace.  I couldn’t survive without him.  I’ll never betray him again.  I’d sooner die for him.  I love you, Flash.  Thank you for making that call.  I’m saved!!!

I’m just worried about Dodo now!

That’s all, I suppose.  G’night!

[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘A glimpse of Beatrice…’

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