The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Saturday, 7 March 1987

Ghosts of Beatrice

‘Walk Away’ – Sisters of Mercy

Wuthering Heights!  Wuthering Heights.  Wuthering Heights!

I awoke and helped with the housework, as Betty is rather ill with some sort of flu – which I am contracting!!!  Following this, I helped make the ‘dinner’/ ‘breakfast’ and dolled mesen up to go to good old, v. exciting Wisbech!  OH YUS!!!  I walked there across North Brink, quite often switching from the road to the riverbank to avoid being brayed by any macker dogs that might have wanted to pull off my goolies…

'Severina'– The Mission

Free, 1970… 'Wishing Well', the b-side to 'Severina'...

It took me a bastard hour to get to Wisbech and, what ho!  Jolly Japes abound!!!  The Fair is in Wisbech!  Titter!  Chortle!  Arf!  Arf!  What a caper!  Ho!  Ho!  Ho!

Ritcherd, Ritcherd, Ritcherd, the Jape one.  My hair was rather interesting today.  I haven’t washed it for three days, which is a long time for me, and it’s really Grebo and straggly.  And I’m glad.  I ain’t even crimped it since Thursday, I don’t think… What a jyppo!  And I’m glad.  I feel a right Mission fan.  My hair is greasy and rock, so fuck off to all the Sheenies with their beautifully conditioned hair.  I lived that side of life and, personally, I think it was shit.

I was supposed to meet Jazz in Wisbech, but I could not locate him, so tuff shit, mateyboy. 

After a nosh in Andrews, I went to Jarvis Worlledge’s to see what time he wanted me to go over for his party.  He didn’t answer the door, so I went over to Mrs (Tina) Montgomery’s and we chatted about absolute fuck all.  Then I returned to Jarvis’s and his girlfriend Lydia was there with him.  We all had groovy chats, and went to the Angles Theatre where he was making-up for the play he’s in.  He wanted me to go and watch it, but I had opted to go to the fair for sentimental reasons, i.e. I was reminiscing about BM Wasp.

‘The Baby Screams’ – The Cure

Last March, when the Fair was in Wisbech, I met up with BMW and the future seemed bright for us both – and would have been, but for the intervention of Wiggy (who Monica Roseman maintains is a ‘nice boy’!  oh YUS!  I LUV HIM, LOADS!).  And so Miranda or BMW or whatever you’d like to call her is now going out with Mark Dalton – wouldya dare?!

I rang Cheggers and he and Joey went to the Fair with me. 

I was standing around, waiting to go on a ride, when BMW walked by, arm-in-arm with Mark.  My heart raced and about 182 emotions coursed through and flooded my body; regret, love, hatred, sorrow, everything…

Cheggers recognised her instantly (he hasn’t seen her for ages) and as soon as they’d gone he said, ‘Bastards!’  Bless him.  He thought Mark was a squair and BMW was a bitch.  I felt very emotional and nostalgic.  I regretted it all and hated myself.  I knew I’d see her and I knew that if I did I’d get upset. 

So why did I go? 

Typical Winterfood narcissism.  But love dies hard.  I couldn’t just erase that 6 months of my life.  Just like Flash’s 8 months with Dodo.  And now he hates me.  Because of the Dodo thing…

‘Love Removal Machine’ – The Cult

We eventually met up with Noreen Lambert and I chatted to her very nostalgically about the first time BMW and I had sex.  Strange, I know, but, yes!  Noreen brought it up, not me.  It seems BMW had actually told Noreen all about it; how it had hurt B Miranda as she was a virgin.  Apparently, she told Noreen she hadn’t minded the pain because it was me who was hurting her, in a good way, and that was okay because she loved me.  Not that Noreen can always be relied upon as a paragon of truth!  She also told me that Miranda now hates me, but had been totally besotted with me at the time.  Why didn’t I see that?  How could I have been so ignorant?  How?  And when I went schizophrenic and began to ignore her in February 86, she was dreadfully upset by it all.  Oh!  God!  She can never understand the love I’ve felt for her!!!  I could’ve gone away and cried at the memories…

Noreen was really nice, though.  She was very friendly towards me – except when she asked me if I was on drugs.  And she kept asking!  CHEEK!  Wouldya dare?  Of course, because you’re quier and squair…

Eventually, Noreen went and the three of us went to the Angles Theatre for a drink.  At 10.30pm, Jarvis and I went back to his house for a curry, before going to bed…


[Images subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements in the ‘Thanks to…’ section below) / Based on true events and designed as a study of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this blog is a work of fiction. Cultural icons excluded, all characters and incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video clips are used for illustrative purposes and always come from YouTube / No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context. Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise offence / This notice was amended on 13 July 2011 and is intended to cover this and all posts on that precede it]

NEXT TIME: ‘Never say never again…’

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