The Winterfood Diaries

The Winterfood Diaries

Sunday, 1 March 1987

Doom

‘Heartache’ – Gene Loves Jezebel




Once back at Gordon Villas, I collapsed on the bedroom floor and fell asleep.



The last record I heard in February was ‘Fall’ by The Jesus and Mary Chain.



I awoke at 2.45am to find myself alone on Flash’s bedroom floor.  I was in no fit state to really wonder where Flash was.  I presumed he’d gone to sleep elsewhere, so I got into his bed and more sleep ensued…



BUT WHAT HAPPENED AS I LAY SLEEP?

Flash had gone into the front room, slowly renewing his hatred for Dodo and me.  His mum returned home and he told her to ‘get lost’, so she went up to bed.  Flash, in his turmoil, was by now smashing up plates and ornaments.



Around this time – even if this isn’t the chronological order – I was still on the floor.  I now know that he came back upstairs and stood over me, watching me and nursing a knife.  He’d written me a letter, which told me he wanted me to die painfully, and that he would be the one to kill me.  He cursed Dodo and whispered in my ear that together we loved and together we’ll die.  He really wanted to kill me and might have done if he’d thought he wouldn’t regret it.



I awoke at about 10am, still in Flash’s bed.  Nearby, Flash was writing an angry diary entry about Dodo and me.  He still hated us!  I felt really bad about it all.  He was playing my Gene Loves Jezebel 12-inch, so…



The first record I heard in March was ‘Heartache (UK Club Mix)’.



As the day grew, I decided to tell Flash I could never live if I lost his friendship.  I decided that it might be best if I never saw Dodo again.  No matter how much it would hurt.  Flash shifted from saying, ‘It’s okay, see her’ to ‘It’s not fair on me!’ in varying degrees.



By this afternoon, we were friends.  Or so I think.  I headed down to my Gran Pritchard’s for dinner and Flash went to Dodo’s to give her her tape recorder back.  God knows what happened then!



I saw Martin and his girlfriend, and then Grandma Hall – who took the piss out of my crucifixes and my hair.  And I DO want to see her again!  OH YUS!  MUCH!!!



Then we came shitty bastard home…



It’s pissing it down. 







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NEXT TIME: ‘Bleeding heart…’

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